I think I may have ADHD... but I never thought I did until recently.
Symptoms (they have worsened as I am approaching 40).
- Messy bedroom all my life. In fact, my whole house and car is a tip. I feel utterly overwhelmed at the very thought of tidying anything and only drag myself to do it if I know somebody is coming or will have to see it. I do often think about wanting to do it, but never do as the prospect is far too much.
- Overthinker. Massive overthinker to the point where I sometimes plan what I'm going to say to people as I want it to come across in the right way, or if I am typing an email to someone other than my family, I will overthink the way it comes across, and read it back several times.
- My thoughts are very loud. So much goes on in my mind sometimes that I talk to myself constantly like an absolute weirdo just so I can get things out. I play out/talk out different scenarios as I'm speaking.
- Anxiety. I will often be extremely anxious at the thought of people not liking me or prying into my personal life.
- Disorganised on paper. But organised in my head. For example, I have a messy room, but kind of know where things are.
- DIfficulty in multi-tasking. I find it extremely difficult to focus on more thing at a time.
- Never finish tasks. Even when I actually get around to doing something, I'll think " that's enough, or "that will do".
- People pleaser. Massively. I get a dopamine hit when people praise me or compliment me but I get very down if they don't or they say something that isn't personal but it's about me or my performance at work etc.
- Always thinking " it must be me" if someone is being off.
- Jump from one task to another without any structure or much reasoning behind it.
- Bad concentration and understanding (especially as a child in school). Got better as I became older.
- Loud noises. I get extremely angry and irritable if there is a noise that goes off all of a sudden without me knowing about it.
- DIfficulty keeping friendships. I forgot to reply to people a lot of the time and find it hard to keep contact with them. As a result, I don't have many friends :(
There are probably more symotoms but can anyone relate? Will get a private diagnosis done next year.