Is it me?

[StMarieforme]

My dearest friend of 48 years died 7 weeks ago, after a long fight against cancer. We spoke every day, and were always each other's support and shoulder. Since she left this mortal coil my life has gone to shit. I've had a tough life anyway- been broke for most of it. However in the last few years this has eased a little and things have been easier. She would listen re my disabled daughter 27, and I would listen re any of her troubles.
As we speak I'm broke, having to put car repairs on a credit card, getting bad news about my own health and feel like absolute crap. Have no hope for mine or my daughter's lives improving. Wonder wtf is the point?
Can't tell anyone IRL how I feel as, well, it would have been her. I love and miss her so much.
Is it me? Is this a normal grief reaction? That I'm not coping rather than things actually being as shit as they feel?

This is normal OP, but I'm so, so sorry about this loss. This is profound bereavement.
Sending you care, love, strength to put one foot in front of the other.
This is misery at it's worst.
I'm sorry and will be thinking of you. Xx

When you’re grieving, everything is magnified. All those little (and big!) problems feel so much worse because you’re dealing with the loss of someone you love dearly.

I am very sorry OP, she sounds like a wonderful friend and I’m sure she loved you just as much as you love her. Be kind to yourself x

I'm sorry for your loss @StMarieforme
Yes, it's natural to feel this way, a natural reaction to the grief you are feeling.

I'm presuming you would still be troubled by the problems you have had for a long time, but your dearly loved friend gave you strength to cope with them, over many many years, by being a good listener if nothing else.

She was always there to listen and you listened to her and together you could commiserate and you now feel very alone in all of this with no one you wish to share your troubles with.

You said you were having a better time of it lately, and now, when you hit a bad patch, there's no one to help make it seem not so bad, no one to confide in.
That's very hard, I know, when you feel alone with no one to turn to.

I believe you're feeling so down you can't see the end, but things will get better, they have before, but you'll have to draw on your own strength, and imagine what your friend might have said to you to make it seem bearable.

I hope you have better news about your own health, all the best xx

No, it's not you.
You are grieving for a beloved friend who is no longer physically with you.
You have lots of good memories though, 48 years worth, they will be a huge comfort once the grief has settled, and it will.
The other problems you have, do what you can, day by day, a bit at a time, writing it all down, as you have, may help.
When my lovely mother passed, I shared lots of my thoughts on a forum like this, and it helped.
This will pass, I send you my condolences, and please believe, things will get better. X

Thank you all- you're so kind to take time to support a complete stranger. I do believe that there are more good people than bad in the World and you are definitely confirming that.