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I need your help / advice / tips - anxiety

4 replies

Slowhorses1 · 15/10/2024 09:50

I suffer from anxiety which comes and goes. It's generally related to my health, but has been increasingly centred around my children. I generally manage it ok, I've had CBT which was relatively helpful when it comes to doing specific things like flying.

My big anxiety coming up is parents evening. I hate it. I have two DDs who always get glowing reports. However, with DS it always feels like the same, slightly negative and never really saying anything positive. I obviously think he's a lovely, bright boy, but I also know that he can be unfocussed and day dreamy. Classic, could try harder territory. I understand teachers are just doing their jobs and being honest. But I am always braced for the same thing every year, and its starting to cause me real anxiety to the point where I just want DH to do parent evening so I can avoid it.

I dont know why it has such a triggering reaction in me, the reports are never even terrible. It's just when you hear other people saying how great their children are doing, and obviously my DDs are like that. It just ramps up my anxiety even more. Generally after the parents evening I will spend weeks stressing about whether DS is ok, what happens if grows up and doesn't lead a fulfilled happy life etc etc. It's just the same predictable thing every time. I just want to hear someone say something good about him, if that makes sense?

I need to get a grip of this though, and Im hoping some people can give me some advice to help. I need to mother up, and face these things rather than become totally avoidant.

OP posts:
MeMyCatsAndI · 15/10/2024 10:33

If the teacher focuses on the negatives I would actually ask what positive things they have to say about him.
Parents evening should focus on both sides. My ds8 is like this, he's very intelligent but hates English (it's the writing side) and that's all they ever focus on despite being beyond his years in maths & science.
So now I start with "what positive things has my son done in school?"

Slowhorses1 · 15/10/2024 11:11

Thank you, thats a good idea. I think the problem is I get so anxious that I just want to completely avoid it.

Maybe going in on the front foot is a good way to change it up.

OP posts:
CorrinaBeasley · 15/10/2024 11:53

I definitely agree with @MeMyCatsAndI ask for some positive feedback too. But also know that the education system is so rigid and doesn't cater for everyone. Everyone learns differently and are inspired by different methods of teaching and subjects. He may well be more driven by vocational subjects rather than traditional academic ones. So many people I know struggled with traditional mainstream school, but have gone on to have very successful and rewarding careers.
Before you go, remind yourself of just how wonderful you know he is and ask the teachers what they are doing to keep him engaged and what they think you could do to help. You've got this! :-)🙌

Slowhorses1 · 15/10/2024 14:41

Thank you for your kind message @CorrinaBeasley I will try and remind myself what I know about him before and after to keep things in perspective.

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