To fear my child is spoilt

[RustyandDusty]

They were 7 this weekend. Had a party with friends then a party with family and family kids. Lots of presents obviously. Not one word of thank you from my child. Moaning about presents etc. At his dad's tonight and going for a pizza and more presents. Actually feel like I've got a spoilt kid.

Surely you took him to one side and pulled up for being rude?

this week sit down with him and let him write thank you letters to the people he didn’t thank in person

Yes I reminded him to thank everyone which he did after prompting.

I think a lot of over-excited 7 year olds won’t remember to say ‘thank you’ unprompted for birthday presents.

In my experience with my DC, manners take years to become engrained/automatic. They needed prompting for what felt like a very long time. Part of it was having the confidence to go up to an adult and say 'thankyou for my gift'.

They're teenagers now and very polite. I often get people telling me what lovely manners they have.

Just keep plugging away at it. No child is perfect. I'd maybe sit down with DC and get them to do some thankyou cards (just to your nearest and dearest, eg grandparents). Just a couple, don't make it a big task.

7 year olds can be very imperious in my opinion.

After a party with loads of presents, the children I’ve nannied over the years (some very privileged and spoilt!) would have to write a thank you card before they could open the next present. So we just spread it over a couple of weeks. Stopped them burning through all the presents at once and got them to pause and appreciate.

Did he not say thank you as the presents were handed to him by gran, auntie etc?

Defo note writing. If he moans about stuff you can say "that's fine if you don't like the toy I can take it to the childrens hospital for the sick kids to play with. Gran spent a lot of money on that and it's not being wasted". Repeat ad nauseum.

I think it's unlikely a 7 year old at a party would remember to say thank you unprompted... but that's why you prompt them, or get them to go up to people afterwards when they've calmed down a bit. Not keen on writing notes personally as I remember them being painful to do, but I would insist on them for older relatives or anyone not at the party to speak to them directly.

Moaning about presents though - absolutely not on, and needs a hard line. I would be threatening to take the presents away again if I heard another word about it, and would make it very clear they were being horrible.