What do I want for my birthday?

[Creditschmedit]

DH and DM have both asked me what I’d like for my birthday next month. I have no idea. I’m not sure if there’s anything I really want. Is that a bit sad? Surely there must be something? I honestly can’t think of a single thing.

I have 3DC aged 5 and under. I wear whatever fits and whatever is clean(ish) and whatever I can breastfeed in. I keep changing shape and size because of having babies and feeding etc so clothes feel pointless. I can’t manage to keep in any sort of skincare or makeup routine. I can’t remember the last time I read a book that wasn’t by Julia Donaldson et al. We don’t have any childcare really so DH and I can’t go out anywhere together, we haven’t had an evening out since DC1 was born. I’m sure I used to have some actual interests but now I’m too tired to think about them.

Sorry this all sounds very woe is me but I suppose it is just a reflection really of how I feel like I’ve lost myself a bit. What would you ask for in my shoes? (I don't need shoes)

I'd ask for DH/DM to look after the kids and give me a spa session/massage/facial etc.

A nice winter coat? Oodie/heated throw. Cashmere scarf?

(I'm always cold, can you tell 🤣)

As the other PP says, time. DH and or DM if she can visit, to look after the DC so you can pamper yourself. Have a haircut, sit in a cafe and read a magazine or book.

Go out for lunch etc

Can your mum babysit and your husband can book a night at a hotel with dinner thrown in.

A annual pass to somewhere child friendly. If there is somewhere close by, gets you out of the house and children get to have a good play around. Often even 3 visits pays it off.

A voucher for a facial or a massage? Stackers jewellery box? A voucher for a local hair salon?

Unfortunately my mum can’t manage all three children and definitely not overnight, she’s on her own and she’s 77. She can have one of the older two by themselves for a couple of hours but not for long periods and then we still have the other two to put somewhere 😂

No family or friends that could step in and watch the kids while you and DH have a meal/early evening out?

Could DH stay home while you do something to pamper yourself?
Haircut/style/nails/ spa/ film/ time out with a gf?

Maybe, since you're really not interested in self right now, that's a good thing, because feeding and nappies, don't last forever, thankfully, and you'll hopefully will make up for lost time when kids are out of those stages and you can fly the coop!
Failing that, could you not order in a meal, or a few of them to give yourself a break?
Even in your DM took 2 of the kids for a time, that would help some?

I second the idea of a heated throw if you don't already have one. Any books you would like to read? Do you like flavoured coffee or fruit teas? Perhaps a milk frother or other gadget of some description. Do you like candles? Or how about a plant for the garden?

Ask them to have the kids overnight and pay for a hotel and dinner. It doesn't have to be expensive but it sounds like a break is the thing you could do with the most.

Lovely comfy jammies and slippers.
A food delivery voucher.
Nice perfume - something for you that’s undemanding of you is what you need.

Disney plus subscription for breastfeeding? Lots of great series on it (imo)

Chocolate! Really nice chocolate.

Nothing you have to do, go to, get ready for.

Edit: or look after, think about or maintain.

Thank you for all the ideas. I did wonder about a voucher for a spa treatment or massage or similar but I feel really self conscious going for those sorts of things on my own. I got a similar voucher a couple of years ago and it expired because I never used it 🙈 I always feel embarrassed about not having painted toenails or a proper wax or a nice bikini or whatever. I had a pedicure just before DC3 was born and instead of feeling relaxed and pampered I felt awkward and embarrassed. Same whenever I go to the hairdressers, it feels like a chore not a treat. Maybe my self confidence is lower than I thought.

It’s really not possible for anyone to look after all three children unfortunately and definitely not overnight as the baby is breastfed so I need to be with her. We could pay for a babysitter but for three kids an evening costs the best part of £100 so my budget would be pretty blown before we’d even gone anywhere! God I sound so dull.

I like the idea of a heated blanket. My DH would royally take the piss but who cares!

What about a subscription for something? A newspaper, magazine, wine, chocolate, models, knitting patterns, make up, perfume, coffee, crafts..

I hated this question as I don’t like telling people what to buy/how much to spend.

I decided to say something that is an upgrade to my current things. Nice face cream if you at least use that every day, good cleanser/moisturiser, eye mask if you get chance to grab a nap, warm pair of gloves/ hat for trips to the park in winter, insulated cup for taking your coffee to the park, comfy pair of pjs or loungewear/ fluffy slippers.

A new phone so you can take lots of photos of your little ones, a parka or anorak, puffer coat from Dikriksons to keep you dry in the park, waterproof shoes/wellies or cosy insulated boots for playground. Wooly hat. Grazia subscription. Cross body bag, Uniqlo.