Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Does the feeling of wanting another baby ever go away?

11 replies

Bustedbus · 13/10/2024 22:14

Myself (27F) and DP (36M) have two children together (2 year old DS and 6 year old DD) and I also have a DSS (12) with him.
We have agreed that we are done having children but I just can’t help but regularly get upset about it. I keep telling myself that I should be beyond grateful that we have 3 healthy children and for which I really am, but just feels like my heart longs for one more and no matter how hard I try to convince myself I just can’t forget about it.

I was just hoping someone could please tell me that they’ve experienced the same and that it eventually goes away? I want to give our children the best childhood and I feel like having another would jeopardise that, e.g a bigger house and car so more outgoings, I’m currently in my second year of university and so it would mean more delays to what would already been a slow start with my career, less chances to go on holidays etc etc.
I have all the reasons why we can’t do it at the forefront of my head and that I need to be focused on what I have already got. I think I need to come off social media for a while as well as just the constant feed of babies is just fuelling this broodiness, it’s just the idea that I’ll never be pregnant again, never experience the magic of it all again. BUT I do realise I need to be grateful because some don’t even get to experience it once let alone 2 or 3 times ❣️

OP posts:
ohmyohmy123 · 13/10/2024 22:24

It comes and goes....I wanted more, then didn't. DH was pushing for another and I didn't want to - then as they've got older it's been nice to spend time with them and take them on holidays, days out etc that we can afford.

I am mid 40's now and feel so sad I didn't have another one minute, but glad the next. Im menopausal so think that's why I'm wanting something I can't have.

I would stick with what you have - it's hard work!

wizzywig · 13/10/2024 22:28

It will when you are with someone with a baby/ toddler and you are past that stage. And it's then that you remember that your life is ruled by their likes, their routine, having to push a buggy everywhere is a pain when it's a busy shopping day. And having a full night's sleep is amazing

Original poster
Bustedbus · 13/10/2024 22:29

ohmyohmy123 · 13/10/2024 22:24

It comes and goes....I wanted more, then didn't. DH was pushing for another and I didn't want to - then as they've got older it's been nice to spend time with them and take them on holidays, days out etc that we can afford.

I am mid 40's now and feel so sad I didn't have another one minute, but glad the next. Im menopausal so think that's why I'm wanting something I can't have.

I would stick with what you have - it's hard work!

Thank you! I think I need to be taking notes of the things we can currently do that would be affected by having another. Like you said days out and holidays etc, as I just know a bigger house would swallow up our disposable income a lot more!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

12 year olds 6 year olds Families
Original poster
Bustedbus · 13/10/2024 22:31

wizzywig · 13/10/2024 22:28

It will when you are with someone with a baby/ toddler and you are past that stage. And it's then that you remember that your life is ruled by their likes, their routine, having to push a buggy everywhere is a pain when it's a busy shopping day. And having a full night's sleep is amazing

This is true. Whenever I see my sister she’s sat relaxing as her two daughters are older and I’m chasing my 2 year old around lol! Also sat writing this whilst trying to get him back to sleep 🤣

OP posts:
ILoveADoubleEntendre · 13/10/2024 22:40

I had a struggle to get pregnant (male infertility) then had two who are now late teens. We lost a third at 4 months. I still absolutely love babies and if I could would have another one in a heartbeat (I'm 52 😆). I think if you are wired that way it's always there. I wanted to be a mummy ever since I can remember and am so thankful that got there in the end, but I think those maternal urges never really go! I'm hanging on for grandchildren now although that's not a guarantee! X

ohthejoys21 · 13/10/2024 23:11

I think the answer is that the feeling doesn't go away while you know in theory there's still a chance. I found that when I knew I couldn't have another one, that need went.

BluesandClues · 13/10/2024 23:15

Actually it does go away eventually, I yearned for baby no three for many years, But there was always ‘something’ that was going on, or a reason why then wasn’t a good time, or just mismatched priorities between me and Dh.

Another reason being that dh was a bit ambivalent about no.3, there was the ‘oh we can if you want to.’ However, that was my personal line in the sand. I wasn’t having a child we weren’t both fully on board with.

FunnysInLaJardin · 13/10/2024 23:18

don't forget that a third child means yet another wad of ££££ at university time.

I am so glad I only have 2!

NorthWestWise · 13/10/2024 23:21

I think it went away fully for me once they were old enough that we didn’t have to get up with them (at 6am) at the weekend.

(yes I love my Saturday morning lie in more than I’d love a third child).

Rubyandscarlett · 13/10/2024 23:23

ohthejoys21 · 13/10/2024 23:11

I think the answer is that the feeling doesn't go away while you know in theory there's still a chance. I found that when I knew I couldn't have another one, that need went.

Came on here to say this.

TromboneClip · 13/10/2024 23:25

It only went when I had my third child I'm afraid. I definitely know I'm completely done now, but couldn't stop thinking about it after DC1&2.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread