Do you live alone and, if so, do you like it?

[Draxing]

I've recently, for the first time in my life, begun to live alone. For 30 years I've been longing for this - and now I absolutely hate it :(.

I'm really quite surprised. I've always enjoyed my own company but enjoying your own company is a different kettle of fish to having to put up with your own company the majority of the time. I guess this is a good lesson for me in being careful of what I wish for!

Do you like it? If so - any tips?

omg I LOVED living alone! I now live with my children (no partner) and I really miss living alone it was great!

I'd love to live alone OP. I wrote a very similar post to you a couple of months ago. I would've loved the opportunity to live alone before moving out with my DP. You have no one to tell you how to live, keep it as clean as you like, do what you like, see who you want etc.

I lived alone for 10ish years during my 20s/30s and absolutely loved it.

no one else messing up my perfectly tidy place.

only my own washing to sort.

I could buy and cook what food I wanted and when.

I used to love nothing more than coming home from work to silence and lighting a candle, having a long hot shower and watching what I wanted with no interruptions.

Yes and yes

I do love the tidiness and coming home to the house looking the same way you left it, but that's about it.

I have 4dc so I thought I'd really enjoy the peace, the reduced washing/cooking/shopping/housework etc. And I did, for about a week. Now I just find time hanging on my hands. I'm also surprisingly nervous at night.

My DH used to work away so I didn't see him from Sunday until Friday when we'd go out for date night. I could please myself, do the decorating or DIY, get tradesmen in if needed. Perfect compromise.
We are now retired and he is not well. He never leaves the house. Isn't fit enough to do any of the jobs he's been promising to do for the last 5 years and refuses to get anyone in.
It's shit. I fantasise about living by the sea, by myself.

Half the time as I have my daughter 50%. I do love it. But then I guess it’s not the same as 100%.

I live alone.
I have mental health issues, so my home is my safe space.
I spent my marriages (2) being someone I wasn't.
My youngest recently came home for a while and I was walking on egg shells the entire time he was here.
I'd rather be who I am and share my space with my cat and talk to myself,shout at alexa when she pronounces something wrong and sing in my bathroom when the pub next door is doing karaoke without worrying about disturbing anybody.

I’ve lived alone for about 20 years. I love it, and I’ll never live with anyone. However, I’m a massive introvert. My alone time is my recharge time: I can’t relax completely unless I’m alone. Would you say you’re an introvert?

Re the being nervous at night thing, I recommend getting to know your neighbours. If you know that someone will knock on your door if they hear you scream, I think you’ll feel more secure. Swap numbers as well - good for emergencies.

I'd say it takes a good six months to settle in and enjoy living on your own.

It's the change that's unsettling you, not solitude.

Try to do two social activities in the evenings per week and have a plan for how to spend your remaining time productively.

This could be:

Monday: bath & beauty night
Tuesday: swimming night
Wednesday: friends/family dinner night
Thursday: cinema/film night
Friday: cooking/takeaway night
Saturday: have the kids/friends over/go out
Sunday: reading/craft/Minecraft night

leave a light on at night and dont watch anything horror related.

I don't know if I'm an introvert. I do enjoy seeing friends but I also enjoy my own company (but obviously not as much as I thought I would). I love it when I get cancelled! I'm a very private person - I guess that's not the same as being an introvert though.

Thank you for the replies. I like hearing from those of you who enjoy living alone - it sort of gives me something to aim for!

I got divorced 10 years ago, then spent the next 3 years house sharing / lodging. When I could finally afford to live on my own I cried with joy and relief.

I love having people round, love socialising but I am never going to live with ANYONE ever again except my cat.

Im sorry to hear about your dh. My dh was ill too for most of my marriage - I know how hard it can be 💐

Yes, and yes. I have lived alone for decades and love it. I would never share my house with anyone else again.

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti that's the strange thing - I don't think I actually want to ever live with anyone again. Certainly not any of my dc! I just need to learn how to like living alone.

Op - after looking after 4 dc it's no wonder you've got time on your hands.

Slow down. You don't need to rush.

Do you cook, read?

Do you have a local arts centre?

Take an evening class.

Invite people over.

I live alone, it's okay. I do miss company at times and I miss cooking for someone. It did take some getting used to.

This morning I randomly remembered how my ex used always make the bed smell (BO, smelly feet, farting) and how I don't miss that. I was putting fresh sheets on at the time.

I've spent the day watching crap, listening to a rugby podcast in my nice, tidy, clean home. About to get into my lovely, clean, unsmelly bed. My bathroom is always clean, no skid marks in the toilet, no pee on the floor.

Being married to an absolute pig of a man who within 5 minutes of getting through the door would have chucked stuff on tables, floors, dirty washing left on the bedroom floor (even though he walked past the basket to go downstairs). This is absolute bliss.

I lived alone for most of my 30s. I bloody loved it.

As @Game0fCrones said, having regular social activities definitely helps, especially if you WFH too. I’ve got a yoga class & an Italian class every week & go to the gym regularly.

Do you like animals? They can be great company.

Have you got any pets? I loved living alone but did get a dog - breast deciding I ever made. Was my best friend for 12 years and couldn't have imagined life without him. Such an amazing companion, you don't come home to an empty house and it helped me feel safe at night. Just a thought...

I've lived alone for almost 25 years. I love it. It can take a while to get used to but once you do, it's hard to go back. I love the freedom. I can do what I want, when I want, how I want. My home is set up exactly how I like it without having to take anyone else into consideration. I pamper myself. I have wonderful expensive 800 thread count bedding, expensive candles and a big fuck off huge TV that I choose what to watch on. What's not to like?

The downside is that any problems all fall on me and aren't magically solved (or paid for) by someone else. But I guess that's the price you pay for freedom.

I've lived in my current home for years so I know a lot of neighbours and I can call them if I need help with anything, or just fancy a coffee. They message me offering slices of cake they've made or invite me to join them when they use their pizza oven or when they're worried that there's a strange man by my car (he was from KwikFit fitting new tyres for me!).

I'm loving hearing all the positive stories - thank you.

I do work from home so maybe I just need to find a better balance of how much time I actually spend at home.

I've also only lived here for about 18 months so, although I'm on perfectly fine terms with the neighbours, I don't actually know them very well. Perhaps I should try to get to know them better.

I have thought about getting a dog but when we lost our family dog about 5 years ago the devastation I felt was beyond words, and I don't know if I could go through that again :(.

Know exactly what you mean about getting another dog if you've been through the loss of one. I lost my best boy in January and feel as if I will never get over it. We also have cats (they are my husbands) and I distanced myself from them so much because I didn't want to feel that grief again.

I think in time maybe I will get another but I have a 2 year old and one on the way so now is not the best time. You could always look into fostering? A lot of animals waiting to be rehomed have periods where they are assessed in people's houses and live there for a while or you could even look into looking after a puppy for hearing dogs for the deaf or similar. Certainly not pushing this point with you just trying to think of other options that may help. I think I would end up with a rescue with all sorts of issues that nobody else wanted. That would ease my guilt of getting another.

Maybe there is a new local hobby you could take up to get you out the house weekly and meet others in the area?

Yes and yes.

I’m only 50 and I’ve lived alone for over 20 years and it’s fucking heaven.

It’s peace personified. Any man would have to have a cock of gold, the mind of God and the bank balance of Plutus for me to consider changing my status quo.

I've lived alone for a very long time and am not sure what tips you're looking for. I'm used to it and don't get scared at night. I don't have any pets so have been totally alone for a few decades.

Cons:
it's very expensive
No one to take care of you when you're ill
No one to cook or make you a cup of tea
No one to help with the DIY
No one to chat to or tell your day to
Empty house to come home to
No help with chores

Pros:
No one to make a mess
No one to cater to
No one to irritate you