Is this salary okay for a family of 5? Why am I always skint!

[WhatIsWithMe]

I live in a large town in the north. It doesn't really have much going for it but weirdly house prices are pretty high here. Maybe as it's close to a popular city but generally it's not an expensive place to live.

We are a family of 5, 2 are teens and one in primary school. We have a small house with a mortgage of £500/m.

After tax, etc mine and my partners combined income is £3900/m. Its looks like a great figure but every month we always find ourselves scrimping as we don't have enough money.

The thing is, we already budget, we cook from scratch, we don't have any other debt, we don't spend much on clothes, restaurants etc much and buy only what we need. Yes, we do have the odd takeaway, day trip, treat etc but they aren't a regular thing. We don't holiday abroad and can only afford a week away in the UK.

I'm just confused. Where am I going wrong? Is it that the cost of living has crept up on us or is it that, that income is just low.

They say that a mortgage is the cheapest loan you will every have so perhaps over paying on that when the £300 pm could be saved to build up a rainy day fund might not be the best use of the money. As regards takeaways when you're too tired to cook, I totally understand that one and we have been guilty of it quite a lot. However I find that if you can have a handy pack of something in the cupboard that just needs you to add chicken, veg and a microwave rice (for example) it is still miles cheaper than a takeaway and probably still better for you despite the sauces or whatever not being made from scratch.
Freezing some portions of dinners you have for emergency nights can also be helpful though easier said than done when there are 5 mouths to feed (we are just 2)

Do you get anything in addition to this e.g child benefit, child maintenance, other benefits?

So has mine! I do have to stop myself sometimes.😂

Insightful.

Energy bills.

So you have 3,400 a month, which has to cover insurance, energy bills, food, clothes, outings and childcare etc.
One way to save money is to make a weekly menu for all meals and shop to it. This means that every day you know what you will cook and you have the stuff in. Don't buy snacks - they are not necessary - do buy fruit weekly. Planning saves money and once you have made a set of menus and lists you don't need to do it again - it's surprising how often we eat the same meals several times a month and do not mind! Ditto for Christmas, Easter, or whatever festivals you celebrate. (And buy presents throughout the year so that the spread of celebrations is spread.)
Energy will be a major expense I guess, so you could look at what you spend and what you can cut down on, which probably means turning off radiators in rooms not being used, so DC not in bedrooms on laptops, phones etc, but downstairs (and therefore under your eye - bonus). You could lower the thermostate a degree or so, as well. If you don't pay by direct debit (not always useful as money is tied up when you might need it) then put aside what the direct debit would be for energy costs each month in a separate savings account, to be drawn on when bills arrive (money is also available for emergencies but remember to replenish it when you can).
Put money aside for holidays in another account so you can afford more than a week away - but I assume you do this?
Also plan nice days out at things which don't cost a lot e.g. visits to free or cheap museums, country parks etc. Take a picnic in good weather. Encourage reading from books in DC - take them to the library once a week. Read stories. These are cheap ways to entertain and DC who read for pleasure do better in exams and life than those who do not read for pleasure, so it's also a bonus there.
Clothes are not bought every month, nor shoes but they are difficult to budget for since suddenly shoes don't fit etc. Charity shops used to be a good source of clothes but unless you live in a well-off area they are not any more! Assuming at least 2 DC are the same sex then the younger can have clothes passed down from the older one (so shop for quality there). Also have clothing fund.
Above all else, keep track of where the money goes - have an account book and write everything down, even the coffee at work and the after-school treats - i.e. if you eat it, drink it, wear it, pay for it write it down. Within a few months you will see what you are spending on and can decide whether it is necessary. Bear in mind that having fun, bottles of wine and the odd takeaway, theatre trips etc ARE necessary and do not put so much aside that you cannot occasionally do something nice which is spontaneous.
Be happy.

Tbh that wouldn’t be enough for us but we have different circumstances (eg our mortgage is £1300pm, we have a fairly expensive joint gym membership, bills are ridiculously expensive). Your mortgage is very low so in theory you shouldn’t be struggling but depends on your bills/other expenses. If my DP earned the same as me we would be struggling a lot (and I’m on the UK average salary), but he’s a high earner and earns double what I do, and tbh, we don’t have much spare money at the end of every month either. I wouldn’t say we ‘struggle’ but we definitely don’t live in luxury, can’t afford to book a nice holiday unless it’s on a credit card. It’s just so hard at the minute! Especially with kids, our DD is 4 months and they never stop needing things!

That age is easy and can be very cheap if you buy second hand.

I was going to say that. Wait until you hit teenage years.

I've done a bit of work and have been sorting things out. As I have identified where alot of my money is going ive planned the following;

• have suggested to family that once a month we do a snack / bring and share type thing instead of a meal out. I mentioned cost of living etc and how skint I was feeling and it was received well! Alot of family are quite comfortable but theres a few like me who are feeling the pinch too.

• I've started a trial of ynab and I think Im going to love it! Sorting out the pots of money just made things so much clearer. I can see exactly what how much I have to spend. It's still early days and we're constantly adding new pots that we had forgotten about.

• meal planning. This is one of my downfalls, I hate cooking and don't get the time / tired, but think it will massively help as I have spent a small fortune on takeaways in the last year. I had to look away when I saw the figure 🤣

As a start, I think taking these steps should massively help but the whole thing has got me really motivated whereas when I started this thread, I felt frustrated, helpless and down about my finances. I think this should be taught in schools! 🤣

Luckily, I can keep it up and make a transformation. Id love to report back in a year!

Just spouse and I, retired in US; inexpensive city: $800/00 for groceries. We need $6000/month to live.

It's kids. Kids nickle and dime parents to death.

Great start OP. To help with reducing the number of takeaways you have you can switch to easy food at home and plan this in a few times a week. Plus if they're not already, your partner and teens should also be cooking at least one meal a week each.

Then if you also plan in leftovers, eg make a big chilli and use what's left for enchiladas or similar the next day, it really reduces the amount you have to cook.

Get your teens to look at Mob Kitchen or fake aways etc. Eg they can do fake Nandos easily with tray baked marinated chicken, corn and nice oven chips. If they Google they'll can find ways to make whatever mains and sides they like.

If you eat pizza look at nice versions in the supermarket, M&S especially often have a range of 'Dine in' deals that are a good alternative to a takeaway that still feels like a treat.

Some suggestions to help with the meal planning / cutting take aways thing.

Charlie Bingham curries and a packet of poppsoms and a jar of mango chutney. They’re expensive ready meals but they’re a bargain compared to a takeaway.

fresh tortellini- ones of the quickest easiest meals on the planet. Most are nitrogen packed and last a fortnight in the fridge and can also be frozen and cooked from frozen in about 5 minutes.

frozen gyoza. Similar to tortellini.

youngs gastro breaded fish and potato waffles. As easy to Chuck in the oven as the classic fish fingers but it’s properly nice fish.

jacket potatoes cheese and beans. My go to when I know it’s a long day. Put them in the oven on the timer the night before. Massively reduces the temptation for a takeaway.

meal planning. This is one of my downfalls, I hate cooking and don't get the time / tired, but think it will massively help as I have spent a small fortune on takeaways in the last year. I had to look away when I saw the figure

You're doing really well, so far!

With food, have you thought about looking online for example at Tesco or other supermarkets under 'Recipes'?
They have different section including 'budget' meals.
You can plan the week's meals and order the ingredients at the same time- just click and the ingredients go in your basket!

You could also make an effort to batch cook at a weekend or at least prepare 2 meals that can be frozen for the week. I know you say you don't have time, but if you take 2 hours out of your weekend to meal plan, shop and maybe cook something easy to freeze (spag bol/ chili) it's save time later.

And always have some standby ingredients in the fridge or cupboard.
Ours are pasta, cans of tomatoes, tuna, parmesan cheese, eggs, frozen jacket spuds, (take 10 mins in a microwave) mixed frozen veg (peas, carrots, sweetcorn), baked beans.

You can easily make pasta, an omelette, jackets and baked beans with frozen veg.

I’d ask on the food board but there are a lot of recipes that are more like assembling than actual cooking, and still cheaper than takeaways.
I often have at least one very easy meal at the weekends to give me a break and on a Wednesday night we always have something with oven chips like breaded chicken.

I think meal planning can get your food bill down. I don’t know if know someone with a Costco card or can get one, but as there is so many of you buying in bulk might help.

Thats a pretty smug comment to make

I can't understand how you are earning £3,900 per month and you're struggling. We're a family of 4 in the South of England. We take home £2,500 per month, run 2 cars, have holidays in the UK and have about one family day out per month. We don't go out for meals, and only have 'basic' Broadband (no 'extra' TV channels, Netflix etc) but certainly don't struggle financially or think we're poor. We have a lot of 'board game' evenings and 'film nights' at home, which don't cost anything. The kids are happy and have fairly active social lives. Maybe keep a record of what you're spending over a few months and see where you can cut back.

Your housing costs are incredibly low so other outgoings must be unusually high. I earn more but don’t have £3400 after the mortgage is paid.

Well done!

I get the feeling of being too exhausted to cook at the end of the day.

A big yes to batch cooking - even getting into the habit of cooking more each time you cook helps, if you can’t face planning a big batch at the weekend.

The other thing that helps is a slow cooker.We bung thing in it before we leave for work and come home to a lovely meal (Sometimes, just needs a couple of minutes to reduce down. We don’t bother to brown meat before putting it in, and I don’t think it makes a significant difference.

And also, yes to all members of the household taking their turn to cook.

it's going to be the things you don't think about. Do an online shop but don't include the delivery price. That extra coffee you have when you pass a starbucks. Things that you buy using cash so it's not obvious from your bank statement. That you may be feeding extra teens so plowing through more food than expected. (as a teen we all went to one guy's house on a Friday night and his mom always had enough chips and pop for up to 15 - that adds up!). Pocket money for the kids.

Quite agree using the SOA on the debt free wannabee board on MSE - one of the best budget tools around. If you pop your budget back on there the folks will give helpful feedback.

Honestly I think you should be absolutely fine! Also a family of five and my hubby and I bring in similar to you. However our mortgage is almost £1100 a month and we’re in shed loads of debt 😓 I always thought if we didn’t have the debt to pay off each month (about £700) we’d be absolutely fine. I budget really strictly and have done for years so I know literally where every pound is going. This would definitely be a good thing to try as then you’ll see exactly how much will go out each month and where it is going to. Good luck xxxxxx

You might like the Financielle app. They also do a podcast which is quite interesting

It is taught in schools.

The only thing I would suggest is high is Christmas saving and food budget. I don't have teenagers yet but I do have 4 under 11 and we spend £100 a week on food. That's with a 5% supermarket discount so in reality perhaps £110 is truer. Am I below the average?

Christmas savings. I save £100 per month and this covers the 4 children and some wider family gifts. I also use a cashback site and this normally gives me an extra couple of hundred for Christmas. Everything else seems reasonable 😊