Husband on anti depressants. I feel so alone.

[ilovelamp2]

Just that really. Husband has been on anti depressants for about a month and has fortnightly talking therapy. I'm so proud of him for doing all of this- he really wants to 'feel better'. Tonight we had a disagreement - totally not him to be the way he was. He totally over reacted to something, which I know is a side affect of his meds. Staying strong for us all (we have a 13 year old daughter too who has no clue) but just feel so alone. All our friends are couple friends so can't speak to anyone as he doesn't want others to know. I feel so alone. Has anyone been through something similar and survived?

Can you access talking therapy for yourself? Through the NHS or perhaps a workplace scheme? Do you have a family member you can speak to?

I totally understand your DHs hesitation for you to talk to your friends, as it essentially would involve disclosing his private medical information - but there must be someone you can talk to that can listen to you impartially and help you feel heard!

It's tough always being the supporter and never the one on the receiving end.

Thanks - yes, therapy through work is a good suggestion. Just feel like I'm wasting their time?!

My dh was severely depressed for about a year quite a few years ago now. It is really difficult and supporting him played havoc with my own mental health. If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends and you can afford it would you consider going to councelling yourself? It really does help to get it out somewhere.

I will say if after 6 weeks or so the meds don't seem to be working go back to the GP. Dh tried multiple antidepressants/different dosages and when he hit on the right combo he was so much better pretty quickly from there.

I hope things look up for you both soon, it's a really shitty place to be.

Thanks both. Just thonking, I'm catching up with an old work friend next week who doesn't really know DH so thinking I could talk to her but worried she might think I'm being weird. I wouldn't rule out private counselling. Thanks for all the suggestions. Really helpful. I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing ....

Thinking! Not thonking@

My DH is on citalopram for anxiety and panic attacks. He was the most easy going level headed man for 10 years and overnight developed panic attacks and could barely leave the house, couldn't drive, couldn't go to a shop. I think in hindsight he had been depressed for a while prior but we were so busy in the trenches of raising kids. There definitely was one moment that I remember not long after he started the meds where someone drove badly and he started trying to cut him off and drive right up the back of him. I was so shocked because this was not the man I knew and the kids were in the car. I made him pull over and I drove home. There was another time he kicked something across the room in frustration which again was something he had never done. This was either days before or after starting the tablets and at the time his patience was really short especially around the kids and he slept a lot during the day.

We are 2 years on and nothing like that has ever happened since. The tablets work for the most part though he does have better and worse days. Counselling didn't help for him really, all that was available was an online session and it was very difficult to get the rapport built with the lag of teams so he didn't continue with that though we are both much better and communicating how we feel mentally now.

Thank you @baseline14. That sounds really tough- but good to know you both got through it. The driving reaction totally resonates - he has gone crazy when someone's in the wrong lane. Tha always annoyed him but his reaction now js just ridiculous.