Advice re my housing situ / WWYD

[Ally999]

Hello,
I’m posting for some advice. I know there’s been similar posts before but they are quite old and the op’s don’t tend to update so I have no idea how they pan out. Anyway this is my situation :
I live with my mum & my 4 yr old son in my childhood home. I split up with my son’s father last year. We co-parent ok, we’re civil. He picks our son up from school every other Friday ,has him over the weekend and then drops him to school on the Monday. (This isn’t really relevant but it’s just for context as I’m sure people would ask me about my sons father)

I work part time, I bring in approx 1600 a month. I am desperate to move out. My mum helps out with my son, but we don’t really get on. We butt heads a lot and when we argue, she always threatens to kick me out , and I’m quite sick of it. It’s toxic and not good for my son. I pay £450 towards rent, I pay council tax (£190) and I do a food shop. I then obviously have to support my son , and support myself and pay my bills (phone, car insurance, credit cards etc) . I get £280 child maintenance which helps but it’s still quite hard for me to save a decent amount. I get a tiny bit of uc and this is only really when my son does a lot of breakfast/after school club during the assessment periods. I don’t get anything for housing costs because I don’t have a formal tenancy, I’m considered to be living “rent free” (I wish!)
I have enough saved up for a deposit to rent and have viewed a few properties and put down offers on the ones I liked , but I never get it. I either lose out to a couple who work full time or because I don’t have a guarantor. I approached my local council months ago , they told me I’d be put in temporary accommodation out of borough and I panicked because I have a support system here. They told me it would be best to stay put at my mums until I can rent privately. I agreed this would be best, but I didn’t know how difficult it would be or how much my mental health would worsen feeling like I’m stuck in a place I’m not wanted. So now I find myself in the same position again, and I’m not sure what I can do .

I’ll also add that I have been on my councils housing register for 18months. I bid every week but I’m on the lowest band so I get nowhere.

thank you for reading & I would love some advice.

You could ask your mum to be guarantor.

I don't know where you are, but in general there is a big shortage of rental property.

You mention after school club so I'm presuming your child is in school and you are not paying nursery fees.

Anywhere in the south east 1600 a month will be very difficult on rent. My son is in a shared house in London and he has a room for 900 a month.

The advantage you would have is that because you would have a formal contract and would not be living with a relative you might be able to get a rent element on UC. You should check how much you are likely to get.

I was renting recently after a divorce and as it was me and a child we were not attractive tenants and we wound up in a town thirty miles from where we lived. So you might have to change schools if you want to move out.

You say your Borough, are you in a London Borough? Pressure on social housing is immense in London.

Do your council have a list of private landlords who will rent to those on low income?

Why are you not on the tenancy at your mums house? She could add you, you claim UC housing element so you are able to save more and may find somewhere sooner?

If you’re only paying £450 a month rent, are you able to save?

Can your mum act as your guarantor?

Yes we really need to know what out of borough is exactly and what your support network is to better advise you. If your situation with your mum is that bad it might be better to go elsewhere. I moved several times and great distances with my DC and it was fine. You soon make friends etc in a new area, as do the DC.

Fact is that if you can get social housing, that would be the better solution. Private renting is expensive and precarious. And once your DC is grown up, unless you've increased your earnings a lot in that time, your housing choices will be grim. A relative of mine is in that situation and she lives in a shoebox size studio in her 50's. It's not nice.

Can you work full time?

Thanks for replying.
my mum can’t be a guarantor. She earns less than I do, and has terrible credit.

I couldn’t rent a room in a shared house or a studio. The adverts on these type of accommodations tend to state ‘no children’ or ‘unsuitable for families with children’ , which I understand. I am entitled to the housing element of uc for a 2 bed and it’s quite a generous amount IMO, but it’s hard to be accepted by a landlord as a single parent who will rely on uc. I have also looked at 1 beds and still face the same problem.

I have thought about moving away, and I think I may have to do this. I wonder if I should have just taken the temp accommodation the council would have offered me since I’m now considering moving anyway.

Yes, I’m in a south London borough. I know, it’s grim in London.

Not sure about this, I’ll ask them!

Hi,
I can ask her to add me on to the tenancy. Whether she will is a different story.
I don’t think I would get much uc though as It’s a housing association property so rent is already quite low. Plus she doesn’t get any housing costs under uc because I live with her and work.

yes I have some savings , but not much.

my mum can’t be a guarantor as she earns less than me and has poor credit

They couldn’t say where exactly, but said that it will definitely be out of borough because they don’t have any temps in the borough, so likely to be miles away and I could be there a while. My mum is part of my support network. We don’t have a good relationship but she helps with my son which I’m grateful for. His father also lives nearby, and I have friends that help out when I’m really stuck with childcare / sickness.

the thought of moving away is therefore very daunting for me but I’m prepared to do it, as I am really unhappy at home. I wouldn’t know where to start though , or where to move to.

That’s not how it works on uc . She will be entitled to housing costs but there will be a non dependent deduction of £85 each month because you live there. https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/benefits/universal_credit/deductions_from_universal_credit_for_non-dependants

Could your son’s father be your guarantor?

If your child is at school and you have both your mum and his dad around why can't you work full time? I would think that's the most significant stumbling block TBH - in your area you need a full time wage if you are a single person applying for private rentals

I was in a similar position last year . I worked full time and still needed a guarantor. You have these options ;Work with the council and get moved
Work full time but you might still need a guarantor
It's really really difficult looking for a rental as a single mother

If your child is at school and you are desperate to move out, I think you’re going to need to work full time.

Given that your support network is local, I wouldn’t attempt to move out yet. Wait until you’re back to work full-time and don’t need a guarantor. I’m guessing that childcare has been your reason for working part-time, but will things change once he’s at school ( is that next year)?

Once he’s settled at school, you can focus on increasing your hours, plus you’ll have saved up more money.

The OP says the son is at school now…

He picks our son up from school every other Friday ,has him over the weekend and then drops him to school on the Monday

Thanks, @howshouldibehave, I missed that. Well, if she focuses on building up her career over the next year or so, she’ll be in a much better position to move without a guarantor. I imagine that his school offers wraparound care.

thanks for all your replies.
So I’m contracted to work 9:30-2:30 Monday - Friday, which allows me to do drop offs and pick ups. I also work 2 Saturdays a month. I do regularly finish work late and pay for after school clubs. I average about £1650 but if I do a lot more overtime when it’s available, I can get around £1900. Even on this pay, I would still have to rely on uc to help me private rent. A 2 bed in my area is around £1500pm

I can’t extend my hours much more than this. My mum made it clear that she’s not going to do school runs. She’s in her 60s and has medical conditions, so I understand and although it would be helpful , I don’t expect it of her so it’s fine. My son’s dad works long hours as a hgv driver. Hes often on the road overnight , sleeps in hotels, and can be on the same job for days, so I can’t just call him and ask him for help with school runs etc. I know he earns quite well and could pay more child maintenance, but the courts decided the amount (which I even had to fight for as he was adamant he could only afford £100 a month)

& I would never ask him to be my guarantor. Although I wouldn’t say our relationship was abusive as such , he was quite controlling at times and so I would not feel comfortable asking him. Hope that makes sense.

I can’t extend my hours much more than this. My mum made it clear that she’s not going to do school runs

Neither DH or I could do school runs-that’s where childcare comes in. I’d be looking at wraparound care or childminders and working full time now your child is in school.

If you're in Bromley or Bexley you could look at rentals in Medway. It's much cheaper there and there's the fast train service back to transport your son back to his dad's.

Try using Rightmove to create a circle around towns where you'd be able to get the same kind of work (do you work for a business with branches where you might be able to get a transfer?) so you have an idea of average rents.

work 9:30-2:30 Monday-Friday

I think it’s no wonder you are struggling to find somewhere you can afford alone working just part time. If you can’t work 9-5 in your current job, I would look at moving jobs where you can work full time.