Using a sunflower lanyard on DS

[SpinningTops]

DS is on the waiting list for an autism assessment.
He is difficult to manage when out but he has excellent language and to an outsider would probably look like a naughty child. I stay close to him at all times and try keep a hold of him but he will writhe out of a handhold immediately. He finds it difficult to follow a given instruction, he touches everything and we have meltdowns.

So should I use a sunflower lanyard? I'm fed up of feeling like a rubbish mum who has little control.

My main hesitations are that he doesn't have a diagnosis (but will probably be 2 more years until we reach that point)
And also I wouldn't want to meet people we know as we haven't told friends and feel it's not something we want to share at this point without having seen a professional.

I thought it was just a covid thing that meant you were exempt from wearing a mask.

They pre-date Covid (started in 2016) plus they also sold masks with the sunflower pattern on!

They did sell cards saying you were unable to wear a mask, but even a hand made one will have done (and they were not needed anyway).

No it was originally used in airports atc to indicate that the passenge/s had extra needs so staff could be aware of that and make things more accessible for those wearing them
But during covid people started wearing them ,to show they were exempt from mask wearing a judgment they could make themselves
And people imo ,got so used to seeing them ,the original meaning waa lost.

Yes you can and it's a great idea 💛

Our sons diagnosed now (autism/adhd) but generally appears "neurotypical" and it just makes me feel better when he has a meltdown or starts lashing out (only at me and my husband) that maybe people aren't judging us as much or thinking he's just naughty (I know I shouldn't care!)

At the airport despite not booking/asking for any kind of special assistance we were ushered through priority queues etc which definitely helps.

I don't think there is any harm in having one for him. I'm not sure how much help it would be though. I would have thought those who understood enough to know what the lanyard means would realise he had some kind of disability if his behaviour was not quite what they expected, and those who don't either wouldn't realise what the lanyard meant, or would be one of those who just thinks people should behave right regardless!

I tried to lanyard my kids for the airport, but only one would wear it. Not sure if it made any difference or not, but no harm in trying.

I will say that pre-kids, I found toddler public meltdowns funny as I was a bit of a dick. I would still have understood that an older child in meltdown would have had additional needs without explanation.

Yes, have only used once at the airport last year. This was actually a month before DD had her diagnosis, and she is 'high-functioning', so I did feel a bit of a fraud at first, but it helped enormously when she freaked out at the security scanner. The staff were instantly understanding.

I have one for the exact same reason. Along with my "can't wait" card and RADAR key, I feel I am advocating for myself - doesn't stop the absolute beasts of people criticising though (sad to say, SOME of those people are with visible disabilities which apparently trump - pardon the pun - my previous need to empty my stoma bag, or current need to retrain my bowel).

I have the sunflower lanyard for my Ds . We used it pre Covid mostly to get through airports .

I would also add the majority do understand it means hidden disability - I think it lost some of its value during Covid as it was used by people not able or some who didn’t want to wear a mask .

i work for a national company . In our training we do have an e module on sunflower lanyard , so it very much is understood there.

I've ordered one. Even if it stays in a bag forever more / if only brought out for travel purposes at least I have one if I need it.

I'm going to go for the fidget one idea for every day scenarios. I've seen a great looking lanyard made of poppers.

We tie it to ds back pack sometimes.

A backpack is a good idea btw as there is something good about "heavy work" literally weighing them down. I also put "toys" in to help distract him and it gives him some agency and control if he can get them himself. Da prefers a walking type back pack with a front clip, but you could even try and reins type one if he bolts. Maybe start with the back and subsequently clip on the lead bit

Heavy work sounds good. We do use a backpack with a chest strap but I'll weigh it down more with a water bottle.