If I was to tell you the things that I catastrophise about, that haven't actually happened, you would think I was insane. It is relentless.
Here are some examples of what it is like to live with constant anxiety.
Went to visit a guy i have started seeing (long distance) was convinced the plane was going to crash as there was some turbulence and I'm not a good flyer as it is. The plane didn't crash.
Saw a very good looking Muslim guy in the airports departure lounge and he looked very serious and was looking around , I then started panicking and thinking about 9/11 and started worrying he was on my flight, (he wasn't) just to be clear, my ex is Muslim so I don't think this about all Muslims, it was just the context of being in the airport and his demeanour and my catastrophising tendencies.
I started then worrying about the guy I was meeting and worried he was going to assault me, (he didn't) and we had a lovely time.
I also was worried I had HIV and kept doing tests every month as I wasn't sure if the guy I was seeing at the time was being faithful, I did have reason to believe that he was sleeping with other girls but of course I had to jump to the conclusion that it was HIV. I don't have HIV.
Worried about my 9 year old daughter in case anyone has already or will try to abuse her, she's quite emotionally young for her age so she is more vulnerable. I have no evidence of any of this , it's just thoughts in my mind.
Basically my worst fears manifest themselves and I convince myself it will happen.
I was on Sertraline but it badly affected my libido and my sex life with my then partner, so I stupidly came off it. But at this stage anything would be better than living like this, it's horrendous. Don't know what I'm asking here, just wondering wtf is wrong with me and why am I like this? I hate it so much.
Nothing really that bad has happened to me in my life, so I don't really have any reason to be like this.