How do I be attractive?

[WatAp]

It sounds odd but a genuine question from me

Im a mum of 2. Both young, 2y11mo and 11mo

feel like I lost myself a bit after having my kids especially kind of close together

but I want to be attractive and feel my age. I am only 26 but just have become so grumpy and boring

That was supposed to be frumpy* and boring

When did you last have your hair cut?

Attractive to whom?

Ermmm 4-6 months ago! X

maybe in general? I am married. He doesn’t seem to complain but I think he’s just being too nice to not say I’m frumpy

It's a cliche but attraction comes from the inside. I'm attracted to people who are funny and intelligent for example. Someone with confidence, with lots of interests is attractive.

I've got a friend who is not typically attractive but he's always got women after him because he's very funny, good fun and can hold a conversation.

It’s stupid I didn’t even think of this! I probs ly need to get back to me a bit. I feel like I’m lacking personality too (not in a bad way just boring)

You're not stupid and it's very easy to lose yourself. You sound like you could do with rebuilding your self confidence and self esteem, but focusing more on your interests would probably also help. I'm sure the rest will fall into place.💐

I’d assume to herself and to look good to those around her too? Does it matter?

OP it’s so easy to lose yourself and your sense of who you are when your children are this age. I didn’t have a clue who I was or how to dress anymore or what I wanted to look like for ages after I had babies. If you have the cash, a really good hair cut some decent perfume and painting my toenails, a super well fitting bra … all the foundations go a long way when you’re on the front line of early days motherhood. I know it sounds so basic and you’re probably doing all of this but this is what helped me many moons ago. Oh and a great coat that doesn’t make you feel depressed through the winter. X

What do you do for yourself?
What are your interests?
What are your ambitions?

Cut your hair and dye if you usually do that
Get eyebrows threaded
Get teeth shiny and whiter by going to hygienist
Eat at least your 5 a day and cut back on booze sugar and white carbs .
Exercise daily.
Ensure you only wear clothes that fit you. Get your 'colour analysis' don't to make sure you only wear colours that suit you .
Get a concealer if you get spots.

That will do it.

Pa definitely get a bra fitting your boobs change after giving birth

S

You know what I’ve discovered? The most attractive women I know are actually people who just have something about them that gives them an attractive quality, rather than them being ‘obvious beauties’
One of them has a slightly gummy smile, but it’s absolutely beautiful and she just shines when she smiles. If she could somehow get her smile ‘fixed’ and be less gummy, I think she’d lose what makes her so special.
Another has the most incredible blue eyes that have got so much expression in them, and when she smiles, her eyes light up even more.

I know some extremely ‘attractive’ women from a conventional point of view- lovely face, body, proportions etc… but honestly they don’t have that ‘thing’ that makes them special, and as a result they just blend in.

So I’d say try to find the thing you like about yourself- be it your smile, your eyes, even your laugh… and embrace it.

Sorry I clicked post before finishing haha

Right now nothing (interest wise)

im just wrapped in being a mum and wanting to be rhe best mum ever for my kids

thats my ambition. That my kids grow up and want to be part of my life still and feel like they’ve got the best mum in the world

what I do for myself is a hot bath at the end of the day

I'm 10 years older than you, but I've got toddlers now and I also had a baby at 26, so I understand how you're feeling. I try to go for simple and effective - things I can do quickly or throw on because I have very little time to get ready. I'm generally told I look put together but it honestly doesn't take much effort at all.

In terms of clothes I'd say invest in some decent quality basics that you can throw on without much effort. Some good jeans, plain tops/jumpers and a trench coat would be a good place to start at this time of year. Stick to neutral colours that won't clash, so it doesn't really matter what combination of items you pull out of the laundry and throw on.

I tint my own eyebrows every couple of weeks and use a gradual tan 2 or 3 times a week. Hair is balayaged a couple of times a year and I box dye my roots in between. Make up - primer is a good way to give your skin a glow either under or without foundation.

Having said all that, I agree with other posters that it sounds like you need to build your self esteem and confidence more than anything. Can you start doing something that's just for you a couple of times a week? I started yoga when I was in a similar situation to you - just at home with videos at first. It really gave me something to focus on and helped me feel good about myself both mentally and physically. 10 years later and it's still something I couldn't live without.

Most of all, give yourself a break. Being a mum to small kids is really fucking hard and it's ok if it takes some time to feel like yourself again.

I think it's important to have your own identity and personality.
You can listen to radio, audiobooks and podcasts while you do your normal things.
Meet other adults, even with your kids, and have adult conversations.
Take yourself and your kids to interesting places.

That deals with the "boring" bit.

For "frumpy", have some well fitted clothes, maybe some jewellery if that's your style, keep your hair conditioned and get your eyebrows sorted.
It does help if you're a healthy weight too.

Being the best mom IS attractive.

Not giving a shit is also 😂

Mind you I'm only starting to feel more myself now DC is 5...