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Dads funeral

3 replies

ladyjones1949 · 11/10/2024 20:42

Hi all, my dear dad passed away 3 weeks ago and his funeral is tomorrow. I’m not sure how to feel or how I should be feeling but my stomach is in knots, my hair is falling out and I keep having momentary panic episodes.
Dad was my everything and he’s been a constant and regular exceptional dad and grandad to myself and my siblings and kids. He had lymphoma 4 years ago and this went into remission with chemotherapy, 2 years later it returned and this time it meant business…he tried everything with an upbeat and positive attitude until we were told no more could be done. Dad came home and we all did our bits to make sure he could stay there as he wanted and we were with him at the end.
the ups and downs and dad being on his own (no partner) so we were his all made it so much harder, the emotions we went through, seeing my dad cry and feeling so helpless to take away for him was the hardest thing ever! I’m now struggling with the aftermath and worried how I’m going to manage going forward…I don’t want to go back to work, I just feel like running and to keep running….how do you cope with what’s in front of us after something like this?

OP posts:
amber763 · 11/10/2024 20:45

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ I was 26 when my dad died and it was the hardest day of my life so far. If you don't feel able to cope with work then I'd ask your gp to sign you off for a bit.

StarSlinger · 11/10/2024 20:52

Take some time off work if you need too, But sometimes the routine and distraction of work and day to day stuff helps. Sorry for your loss.

Tumbleweed101 · 11/10/2024 22:13

The funeral offers a degree of closure, in that you have sorted all the practicalities and said goodbye. It is a hard and emotional day. I found the following months very up and down, the wave analogy is very accurate.

You take it day at a time. Some will be easier than others. You pull on all the support you can. You are kind to yourself- it is ok to grieve and be sad and angry and guilty. You work through it and you are kind to yourself and you know what you are feeling is normal.

I'm 18mths on from losing a parent. It has been hard and some days still are, but it is easier than a year ago. The good days begin to take over from the bad days but I vividly remember those days where you could hardly swallow a mouthful of food and could only sleep cuddling an item of their clothing.

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