Army life - what's it really like?

[SirChenjins]

Apologies if this is in the wrong thread topic - I thought there was one called Armed Forces but can't see it.

I realise the question is very broad, but not really sure where to start. DS is 17 and in S6. He's not academic and loves to be on the go. He's a great lad, goes to school without question, quite quiet, easy going, hasn't given us any real headaches, has good bunch of friends, a lovely GF, lives for footy, and has a weekend job in a shop. He hasn't got a clue what he wants to do when he leaves school and has been getting quite annoyed if we mention it - if he gets cross he simply walks away and you know you've really pushed it.

Out of nowhere, he came home from school and said he'd been to a careers fair and had been speaking to the army guys. Seemed quite enthused, and was talking about the different careers he could have - seems keen on the engineer side.

DH and I know nothing about the army. FIL was in the RAF in the 50s and 60s but the army is a whole new territory. We'll go and speak to the local recruitment office with him but my initial thought is I don't want my boy to be sent overseas to get blown to bits. I've heard horror stories of bullying and suicides, and tbh I'm not thrilled by the prospect - but if that's what he wants to do we'll support him. What I don't want is a glossy recruitment centre promising fantastic opportunities and him get sucked into it all. Any advice/thoughts for a complete newbie to this?

My late husband was an army engineer. Swore he’d never join up after being an army child and moving around the world, but he did, long before I knew him.
DH seems to have spent a lot of time skiing and swimming, never fired a gun, never saw conflict. Was based overseas and travelled a lot. Did about 10 years.
He was very laid back and calm and because his dad was career army DH was used to the discipline. He could stand up for himself but was mentally very strong and calm so didn’t get agitated by the small stuff.
Have relative who was career RAF in intelligence/computer stuff so although lived in a few places around the world never saw conflict. Think he was in a bunker.

This was my ds at 16. He had already been in the cadets from 13. Eventually he decided on navy instead much to my relief. He's been in for 4 years now and loves it. Suits him really well. He's literally been all over the world. Currently based in Fiji. He does 11 weeks on and then gets flown home for 5 weeks off. Has a girlfriend, she's a student and it seems to suit them well as she is so busy studying and working.

Navy is a good compromise I think at they are not front line like the army.

The military basically own him though. He's had leave cut short with barely half an hour's notice at times (a phone call to say the taxi is on its way and the flight is booked and he had to leave asap !)

The pay is fairly good especially as he basically has very low living costs, but the living conditions on board are pretty basic especially if you're on an older ship.

The recruitment guys that come to school really seem to sell it to them.

It has never even crossed my son's mind but after they visited school in the summer, (he was 11) he decided that's what he was going to do. Thankfully, he's forgotten about it now, until no doubt they come next year.

I don't like that they get to come into schools to "persuade" kids, no other careers do (to my knowledge)

Sorry, none of that helps op, just an observation.

Get him to look at the RAF for more (other) skilled options.

Thanks everyone, that’s really helpful to know that there are a range of options for him to try. He’s not interested in the RAF or the Navy, we’ve tried but it seems to be the army at the moment. I think we’ll go to the recruitment centres of all of them though, I don’t want him to shut off alternatives while he’s not 100% sure about what he wants to do.

I don’t have a problem with them going into schools in S6 actually - for young adults like my son it gives them alternatives to college/uni/apprenticeships. I think it’s important that there’s a wide range of choices on offer.

My family are all services and it can be a great career. My dad was also not academic in school but flourished in the lifestyle. I wouldn’t discourage it as an option but also understand your worries.

I've known a couple of Army people and they loved it. One even went back in a civilian role years after leaving and does his old job abroad tax free. Lots of army jobs not just front line. Logistics, engineers,catering etc.

Do consider transferrable skills that can be careers after army life.

Yes, he seems to be thinking of the engineering side. It looks like they can get qualifications while they’re in the army too, but we’ll need to look into that in more detail.

My DH did a full army career as an engineer. He loved it but has struggled with mental health problems for years since he left. Nearly everyone he worked with who has now left has the same problem.

Not trying to scare you but just to let you know he needs to be forewarned if he decides to join so he can be proactive in watching out for symptoms and getting any support he may need.

Different Services will suit different people more, I wouldn’t have joined the Army but I’m academic and have occasional ladylike tendencies that I didn’t think would fit in with most soldiers!
Engineering is a good trade in any Service, and he would gain useful qualifications that would help in getting a job after he left. He could even get a degree down the line for free if he decided he wanted one. Have you any cadets groups near you he could join for a bit of insight?

@YesYesAllGood I had heard that MH can be an issue and that does worry me.

I suggested cadets @RAFOfficer but our local one doesn’t fit with his other extracurricular stuff which he really doesn’t want to give up.

How about an Army base near you? Some bases have organised visit days for people who are interested in joining, or could put you in touch with the right Regiment if they’re based further away.

Don’t worry unnecessarily about the danger - military mortality rates are actually quite a bit lower than the general uk population!

After turbulent teen years ds joined the army at 18. He did 4 years and loved it. Been the making of him. Ds 20(well behaved no bother at all dc) has applied and waiting to hear if he has been accepted..

My brother was in the army for 8 years but has now transferred to the RAF. He’s never seen active service but that’s always a risk of course especially now. He did a tour of Estonia guarding the border with Russia, which I thought was a little odd at the time but now I understand! He came back a few months before it all kicked off.

He had an amazing time in the army, he went to Canada, Kenya and the USA, maybe some others. He gained a sailing instructor qualification and did a lot of sailing. Oh and he was in the parade for the King’s Coronation!

His advice, I’m sure would be:

1: join the RAF 😂
2: get a trade that is transferable. He was a tank mechanic but there’s not much call for those in normal life! He’s now training to be an aircraft mechanic.
3: make the most of every opportunity.
4: understand that accommodation will be basic and he will spend many nights in a tent!
5: don’t let your parents complain about this to the officers when he arrives!!

@RAFOfficer That’s a good idea, I’ll check our local barracks and see if they have an open day or similar.

That sounds really positive @Stormyweatheroutthere and @Idratherbepaddleboarding I’d prefer him to join the RAF too, I’ll see if I can do a bit of gentle persuasion!

Ex Army wife here too and agree. The army churns out people with a LOT of issues and a lack of ability to cope in the real world. However...times are changing and I think some of the "cultural" issues in years gone by are now changing (much to my ex's horror who tells me that it's all "political correctness gone mad"....he is old school army for sure!). I think there is an increasing focus on wellbeing and welfare. I have a friend who's son recently joined the navy and he appears to be having an absolute ball!

Both me and my husband served for 14 years, with multiple overseas tours and got out about 5 years ago now. It has set us up well, but we made some canny choices along the way.

If he loves sport there are often opportunities to do it as part of work by joining the unit or service teams. You get the chance for adventure training - climbing, skiing, scuba diving etc. However, the Army is pretty undermanned atm so units are very busy. I have got my degree and masters paid for by the military as well. The life has a huge number of positives and negatives, but would I do it again - yes! My one suggestion is to pick a trade with skills that can be used when you leave the military.

Happy to answer any questions

I'd agree with the RAF being a better option. Could you ask what it is about the army he prefers?

Depending on his trade the forces often work as a tri service. You can find people of different services living on each other's bases, or working in the same units together.

It's also worth mentioning that he could possibly be used for humanitarian tasks whenever they need the personnel.

Royal Logistics Corps. So many different bits to the army that are not front line. I'd say go for it.

There’s a programme called Soldier on BBC which follows new recruits.

My DP served 24 years from age 16. He’s had amazing travel and qualification opportunities and has a fantastic network for post army life career opportunities. Plus a gold plated pension in payment at 40 is a nice top up to his post army salary ! The personal habits he learned in the army of self discipline and organisation are just outstanding.

At 17, I’d look at the foundation college at Harrogate for a year before turning 18. You can walk away after your year whereas if you leave it until you are 18, you are committed to the minimum term.

My DD was in the army from 17yrs for 9yrs.

She was a tank mechanic, she never left the UK for service or saw active conflict.

She did loads of other stuff though, skiing, hiking, got all her driving courses paid for right up to HGV.

She left and got a very good job in the MOD, she's 35 now.

My nephew is in the army. He absolutely loves it. There are many skilled roles to apply for providing you have the right GCSEs etc. my nephew has travelled all over, been taught to drive and has qualifications in Engineering which he can transfer to the real world if he leaves. He has no student debt and has become a very confident, well rounded young adult.