How to say no

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Ds has some mental health issues. Is vunerble. He has a social worker and is in supported accommodation. He gets pip and uc. Around 700 a month. I am his appointee for his pip which he used to have some every other day. Then we put it to weekly . Then there were some problems around that . So his social worker advised me just to give it in one go. So I have been.

The thing is he blows his money right away . And he spends on other people . He bought 2 fright night tickets for him and a friend . In the summer he bought expensive skates for him and a different friend
He's always paying for the take aways drink etc . And wastes it's very quickly on random stuff.

He now does not get paid till the 23rd . He's eating at my house every day . Keeps asking me for money because he has no food at his place. Ie 3.00 for some bread and drink. 3.00 for a little something to eat.

I do have a aldi voucher that has 90.00 on it I thinking to give him that and then tell him to stop asking me for money. But I want to say it and not feel guilty.

Could you order some food instead?

I'd get back on to the support worker and suggest that the arrangement with money isn't working . Could a food delivery be organised every week , money set aside for bills and then he gets the rest of the money that's left over.

I'm not an expert at all and I appreciate it must be really difficult but keeping money back for essentials but giving him the rest seems fair. At least then you'll know he has food.

Is it a difficult relationship between you or is the concern more that you can't afford to supplement his income?

Do you mean from his money when he gets it ?

i think PP means don’t give him any cash but maybe buy him essentials to get him through. That seems a fair compromise

As his parent I would want to sit down with him and help him work out a weekly budget. Ask him if getting a weekly/ monthly food delivery would help him prevent this situation happening. I would be explaining that you are not there as a source of income to rely on. But if he doesn't want budgeting help and continued with his money miss management I would have to let him feel the consequences of his actions as it may be the only way he learns to be independent.

Yeah? Or however it works. So he doesn't blow all his money

His social worker made a mistake. I think you need to feed him until the 23rd and then go back to giving him the money gradually.

He is a vulnerable adult and as well as his own inability to budget, it could be that his 'friends' are influencing him to spend his money on them, which is really a form of financial abuse. The social worker needs to be made aware of what is going on really, so would you be able to start writing everything down about what you know of his spending habits, so that you can speak to the social worker and agree on a different plan.