What advice would you give?

[lindaandrews]

I was adopted at a really young age and since have had no contact with my biological family.

Throughout my childhood, my adoptive parents never mentioned my biological family and I liked it that way not because I resented or hated them but just because I didn’t and don’t care about them and want nothing to do with them.

It turns out that my biological parents have had two more children in the intervening years.

Since turning 18, my adoptive father for some reason has suddenly taken a massive interest in sharing details about my adoption with me and about my biological family and is constantly pressuring me to make contact with them. This isn’t a case of me being mature now and him telling me because he thinks it’s appropriate; I already knew all of this and deliberately blocked it out - again not out of hatred but just indifference.

Now, my adoptive father is pushing me to visit across the country to meet my biological parents and siblings I never heard of before. He is very persistent.

I do not want to go, no matter how ‘nice’ it would be to reconcile as I just don’t want anything to do with them.

Is my adoptive father legally allowed to force me to make contact with them and how do I convince him to drop forcing me?

No, of course he can't force you.

I would sit him down, and explain that you have no interest in meeting them at this stage in your life.

Tell him he can write down whatever he knows, and put all the information in a big envelope, file it away, and stop talking about it with you. That way if you decide you want to get in touch, when you are older, then the information will be there, but, in the meantime, you very much consider him, and your Mum to be your parents, have no interest in your birth family, although you appreciate him telling you, but that you don't want to talk about it again at the moment.

It is perfectly possible you might feel differently as you age, or potentially, if you have a child of your own, then the information will be there, waiting for you. If you never want to know, or to get in touch, then that is also your choice.

Great advice from @NewName24

Agree, great advice from @NewName24.
Have you asked him why he is pushing this all of a sudden? Also, you are 18, an adult. No one can force you to do anything.

This is more about him than you. I suspect he feels guilt that he took you from someone, he possibly is seeing it from an empathetic view, if he had given you away he would want to know. Maybe he would like to write a letter to them himself to get whatever it is out of his system. Either way it's not your issue and he is being very unfair. Just say no and explain your reasoning.

People who were not adopted don't understand the perceived lack of curiosity adopted people seem to have. Most people I know adopted at birth, including me, aren't that pushed. We see one version in the media of people obsessed with knowing 'who they really are' and that seems to be the narrative, and people are actually quite judgemental when you don't fit this narrative (thanks Davina). It's your adoption, there is no right or wrong way to feel.