Is it okay that I didn’t?

[Gggggg21]

Enjoy every moment of the early days with a 2 year old and newborn…

just seen someone I know post (she’s just had her 2nd and her eldest will be 2 next month) “Enjoying every moment”

and I felt a pang of guilt. Because I look back and I didn’t.

I felt depressed. I was breastfeeding and felt pressured to continue so was even more sad. I missed my first child which sounds weird? But I missed being able to be 100% all the time for him and not split in 2

am I a bad mum for not enjoying it?

NB: they’re 2 y 10 months and 10 months old now and it’s so much better. I do enjoy it now :) but I didn’t early on?

I had 2y 5m between my two DC, there were some lovely moments but I find it difficult to remember them as I was so sleep deprived in my youngest's first year. It's like there are blank bits in my memory. My oldest was the most easy going toddler ever, but it was still hard. DH was out of the house 7am to 6pm most days and no family nearby. It is really tough, YANBU!

Poeple love different bits. I have genuinely loved almost all of my nearly 3 year old, and if I could live these days on repeat, I would. They were hard at times, but I've really liked them. I'm more nervous about the school days, I'm not so good at routine and it feels like it'll be a big juggling act.

I also know I missed a fair bit because I had to go back to work, and while he came with me as much as he could, I sometimes had long days and he'd be with his Dad. They had a brilliant time but I missed them, and I think I'll always be a bit sad that I missed some of it.

Comparison really is the thief of joy. I have friends who adored the baby stage and friends who went back to work voluntarily at 10 weeks and have never regretted it. Everyone is different!