Hello I had an abortion at the end of December last year. I wanted the baby but not with the man I was with. We had children together already and he was no help and I suffered with depression after and was on the brink of a break down. I know my kids will have trauma from the things they’ve heard and seen their dad do to me. He was very emotionally abusive, has cheated on me constantly was actually cheating whilst I had the abortion and left me with the children to go to a woman whilst it was happening. Anyway in my head that was my reason for the abortion, I didn’t want to hurt another child mentally, I didn’t want to ruin another childhood. I’ve left him now, I was with him for 10 years. Am I allowed to grieve and abortion? I feel like I shouldn’t but I cry most nights thinking about how I’d have a baby with me now if I hadn’t of done it and what they would be like. I feel like I made the right choice but have this deep feeling of regret. I could’ve loved it like I do my others. I have no one to talk to as I’m so ashamed I’ve not told a soul. Is it normally to feel this way? I feel like I’ve lost a baby that I chose to loose and it’s haunting.