School toilet pass

[elliejjtiny]

Ds4 is in year 7. He asked to go to the toilet in class yesterday and the teacher said no because he didn't have a toilet pass. So today I phoned the school and asked about getting one for him and they said he needs a medical diagnosis to show he needs to use the toilet more often. He doesn't have a diagnosis but he has been seeing the continence nurse for years, is on a hefty dose of meds to try and control his bedwetting and he is going to be started on another type of meds soon as well. He is on a strict schedule for drinking and I struggle to get him to stick to this at school without reminders from me. I really don't want him to be restricted about when he can go to the toilet and I'm worried he will either stop drinking at school or wet himself. He also has moderate learning disabilities. Will that be enough do you think or will they want a medical reason why his bladder doesn't work very well?

I’d send a copy of an appointment letter from the continence nurse - if you don’t have one then he/she can probably do one as a one off with headed paper. (I work in the nhs different area but we often supply a brief ‘to whom it may concern letter’ confirming a person is open to our service). The person can then share it with any agencies they may choose.

if you send a covering note from you advising he has been seeing them for x number of years then this should help…imo they don’t need any more personal medical details that’s his private business.

I would expect a parent's word on this to be enough. It's not like attendance where they have to show records. I would be making an appointment with the Senco.

I would expect the evidence you have set out above should be sufficient.

I suffered terribly with UTI’s and was diagnosed TEN years later with interstitial cystitis. These stupid toilet passes would have caused me no end of issues - I don’t know how I’d have got a medical note as I either had an infection or didn’t according to the doctors and was fobbed off for so long.

It’s dehumanising that they won’t accept your word on this.

That should be more than enough. I would speak to the head of year.

There's evidence of relevant medication and appointments so school should be facilitating his medical needs.

Thank you. The I was surprised that all the students weren't allowed to just go to the toilet when they needed to, within reason so not 10 minutes before break unless exceptional circumstances etc. I've got emails from the continence nurse I can send to the school that shows he is known to their service and his repeat prescription.

I think it’s really embarrassing for your son to have to go into so much detail. I hope the school can communicate this to the teachers discreetly.

Thank you. I intend to tell the school the minimum I can get away with to protect ds's privacy. The continence nurse can be quite fierce, especially when it comes to confidentiality so I'm sure she will email the school and tell them he needs a toilet pass. I've noticed schools seem to want medical evidence for lots of things now, rather than just accepting a note or email from parents.

OP - your information should be enough for the year team to be able to issue a pass.

Teachers definitely won’t get this level of detail - they’ll just be made aware that he has a toilet pass, and he’ll sometimes have to show it in a lesson if he needs to use it (but the teachers will be made aware that he’s entitled to go).

You think that they don't?
Goodness me, we hear all sorts - often much worse than this - on a daily basis.

I said “I hope” not “I think”

My daughter has similarish issues and this type of thing concerns me a lot, especailly as she gets older and is more conscious of it. The level of information the school expects, how it is shared and disseminated shows a worrying lack of awareness of GDPR in her school. I don't want to be THAT parent, but the processes really are very indiscreet at times and there seems to be a significant lack of understanding of their obligations, especially amongst the school office staff. I'd give the minimum possible and if they push, ask "Why do you need that further detail and how will you handle it?"

Totally agree. It’s not unreasonable to raise the question of how that information will be shared. You are a person not just a pupil. I made the comment as my DS5 struggles with bed wetting and finds it really embarrassing- even to us parents at home. I can only imagine a teen or preteen feels much the same (and worse).

Really they shouldn’t need to go into all that detail for a toilet pass. They should be able to keep the details of their medical issues between them and their doctors etc. It’s not really relevant for the teachers beyond knowing they should be able to use the toilet at will.

Thank you. We had an issue yesterday with one of his friends telling other people at school that he wets the bed so I will remind the school of that if they ask questions.

Not heard anything from school today but ds came home with a toilet pass so all is good.