Baby movement - so hard for me to not be anxious

[StephyRose]

Hi all,

I won't be the first or last to post a thread about this but I'm just looking for reassurance. I am an anxious person by nature, a worrier to the core and am 18 and a half weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I also have a soon-to-be 4 year old son.

Due to a loss at 11 weeks in my first pregnancy, my pregnancy anxiety was rife with my son and this time is not much better. I had several early scans before my 12 weeks and had a private sex scan a week and a half ago. I had my 16 week midwife appointment last Wednesday but the MW did not listen to baby's heartbeat which would have provided some comfort.

Movements started about the same time and are very sporadic. I felt baby girl lots this time last week and now since Sunday, not much at all. Maybe once a day and even then only subtle. It is consuming my every thought all day long.

I'm a teacher and so am on my feet, on the go all day but even when I have quiet moments and concentrate I still can't feel her until about ten at night. I'm just finding every day hard.

Everyone tells me not to worry but its difficult. I suppose what I'm asking is - is this inconsistent movement at this stage normal? Two weeks until my 20 week scan and I don't think I can hold out.

I just don't believe I'll have her until she is actually in my arms.

Isn't she still small enough to be moving where you can't feel her? It's quite early OP. I'm so sorry for your loss and your anxiety. Could you talk to a therapist? Not because there's anything wrong with what you're feeling but just to get some space to talk about your worries. I found it very anxiety-inducing too. I think 18 weeks is way too early to be tracking movements. Try to see every movement as a bonus and remember the absence of them is just an absence of information not a bad sign.

Yes, in my experience it is. Although I have an anterior placenta so didn't feel movement until later anyway.

But I was told that babies sleep for periods in the womb and the younger they are, the more time within a day they sleep for. They're also smaller, so you only feel the big movements, not the little wriggles that you also feel at 35 weeks for example.

So you have a baby sleeping for huge chunks of the day, while you're also busy (hard to feel) and then I would imagine by around 10pm, your evening meal has been digested and baby is starting to get the energy from it, plus you have relaxed so you feel the movements.

I think it's also normal to not necessarily hear your baby's heartbeat at 16 weeks, as it's not possible for all (healthy) babies at that point and then it just creates unnecessary anxiety. Some midwives do, lots don't.

I know the feeling. My son used to sleep most of the day and only kick in the evening or at night. I lost track of the amount of times I convinced myself there was something wrong with him, but at every scan he was fine. It made it very difficult to go out and do anything without being completely stressed out that he wasn't moving.

I'm sorry you're going through this as I know it's awful. I'm not sure what exactly is considered normal for your baby, but I didn't feel mine much at all at before 20 weeks so what you're describing does sound normal to me. I would say try not to worry but I know that's easier said than done.

That’s very early to expect regular movement/. im 41 weeks and honestly have never had a pattern of movement. My MW did listen to heartbeat from 16 weeks onwards; but they can’t always find it that early. If it’s really affecting you, could you consider some counselling? I had counselling after a miscarriage and it’s helped me cope with this pregnancy.