Working Christmas Day (NHS) how do others celebrate?

[Fillyfrog]

Working Christmas Day for the first time in my NHS career - I know I'm very lucky, and I know I need to do my fair share so I don't need any comments about that.

I just can't help feeling so upset that I'll miss my kids Christmas day, I feel like there's only so many Christmases where its 'magical' and I'm gutted to be missing it! We go all out and have big family Christmases usually. We spend morning at our own house and go to DM's in the afternoon for Christmas dinner, games etc. I know ill definitely be missing that because it's not like they would change it to another day just for me 😅

Just wondering what others do especially those with children if they're working all Christmas day - current plan is to wake them up early to open their presents before I have to leave at 7.30 (won't have any problems with that I don't think!)

Thank you xx (dc are 5&9)

I’m kind of replying in order to bump this as I have no direct experience.

I’ve never been in hospital over Christmas but I know people who have, one for an extended period last year, and I’d like to say a heartfelt “thank you” from all of us.

I work in the NHS normally I choose to work Christmas night duty so I get all day with my children. Is there anyone you can swap with if you don't mind working night shift? It's tough as I don't get any sleep during the day.

I celebrate with my kids the day before they are older now. But when they were younger they used to "write" to Father Christmas explaining that mum had to go to work to look after poorly babies and ask him to come early :)

Can you do that? Then they can go off and celebrate with family whilst you work but at least you'll still get choir christmas with them.

This will be my 5 Christmas working in 7 years. I do alternate Xmas with my ex husband these days. And my DH will be away at sea, so it makes sense for me to work it all, I'm working Xmas eve night and Xmas day night :)

Wow you've been lucky I've worked 8 out of 10 Xmas' since I graduated as a Dr (and normally cos they don't remove the rolling rota we do 13h days 23rd-26th). We just move Xmas to a diff weekend and do that (but I don't have kids)

Xmas in the nhs is actually good to work tbh everyone is cheerful and everyone brings in huge feasts

Christmas working can be great, most shifts can be made 8 hours so 3 people cover, rather than two 12 hour shifts, so there is at least some time to enjoy the family.

What will your hours be? Would DC still go to your mum’s?

We started having Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve (evening) so that I didn't miss out by working Christmas Day. We all liked it so much that it stuck - it makes Christmas Day much more relaxing without a big meal to cook.

My sister celebrates with her kids on Boxing Day because they love Christmas Eve but they write to Santa and say that mummy’s working so could they have their Christmas the day after.

Yeah that really irritates us with Dr rotas as we only do 13h shifts, no extra pay and only get an 8h day off in lieu for working it if its a Bank Holiday (nothing at all if it falls on a weekend), never understood why we can't do like the nurses do...

but spose even the year I was only rota'd just boxing day I couldn't even go home for Xmas day as the application system dumped me working 6h from my parents one way

Grew up with this and then went into the NHS myself.

Depending on the shift any variation on:
Presents on Christmas eve
Presents first thing dinne later/another day
Do the whole thing another day

Basically treat it as a season, not one day

How old are your children? Family I know just lied when the kids were younger and made Christmas Day Christmas Eve 😂

You could do it a day earlier if they are older.

Do your Christmas Day on Christmas Eve, or alternatively on Boxing Day. I did that often when mine were small and it's just as special.

My dad was a doctor and worked the occasional Christmas. But it wasn't like 9-5. We didn't do dinner til about 5.30. Anyway I don't recall him not being there for at least part of the day. And that's the key - depending on their age, will they remember your absence? Or why not celebrate on Christmas Eve?
My sister is a doc, no kids so often would volunteer to take the Christmas Day shift. She seemed to always be there for the meal though - she'd start at 6am or earlier.

Hi there, what time are you working until? Can you postpone your dinner until the evening and get them to save some pressies (or you save one that will be extra special to watch them open?) Make it all candle lit and magical? Get the kids to plan a beautiful or fun (or both!!) dinner table with some surprises (they could make the crackers and place markers and table decorations and prep some games - christmas bingo was a win here) ready for you to come home?

It will be very different but you won't forget it as it will stand out from all the 'normal' Christmases xx

Thank you for the replies, some lovely ones 🙏
I will be working 8-9. Really drawn the short straw as most people are working half day shifts and sharing it out. Think it must be because I've never worked it before.

We don't do nights in our service (community based) so can't volunteer for that instead.

Please take this in the spirit that it's meant but I think you could come at this a totally different way. Yes, it's easy to think that you're losing out but actually you could turn this into a positive. I would tell the children that mummy has to look after the poorly people on Christmas day, so that they have the best day possible, but what this means is that you all get to spread the celebrations over several days/ a week.
Get the children to sit down with you and plan the festive days that week, write out a plan of what you're all going to do each day & with who (in the family). I would use this as a really nice way of showing your children how important it is to care or give to others. Say mummy is going to look after the poorly people & ask what they can do to show kindness to others. Could they do the shoe box appeal where they prepare a present for a disadvantaged child?
On Christmas day you could make it really exciting by saying you are writing to Santa to ask if their presents could be delivered super early as a reward for the family being kind & thinking of others. You could then make it really exciting by agreeing you're going to get up early to open a certain number of presents before you go to work. Daddy will then take them to see the family members on Christmas day & ask the kids to send you updates via video as they open presents. If your job allows or on your lunch break, you could video call them. They can have Christmas dinner with relatives if invited or your DH could plan a child friendly christmas feast/buffet for himself & the kids. If you're off on Boxing day, you all do a Christmas day part 2 with more presents & a Christmas dinner.
Working Christmas day is never as bad as you imagine, I promise. I dreaded my 1st one & then really enjoyed them. It feels like 2 days in 1 as the patients are generally happy & pleased to see you. If its community nursing they tend to want you to be in & out so that they can get on with celebrating but they are often very grateful that you've been. You might come home laden down with biscuits & treats too! You come away feeling good that you've done something purposeful/ nice for others. Your colleagues are grateful that you've worked the day & you've ticked the box for this year - no need to dread it, you're doing Christmas day this year & hopefully you might get next year off. On the years I wasn't working Christmas day, I would buy some small (often funny/daft) gifts for my colleagues that were working & then hide them in the base where we worked. I would leave a criptic message for where to find them & thank them for taking one for the team that year.
I would work on trying to find the positives in all of this (even down to bank holiday pay) so it doesn't ruin the next 2 months for you.
Fingers crossed you have a nice working day & a lovely festive period. Come back & tell us in December. 🎅

I really sympathise OP.
I'm a nurse, DH an NHS doctor.
We had NO Christmases together before children, one or other of us was always working.
Then I got a practice nurse job at the point of having children...but he was still working!
We had some lonely Christmases if you see it like that...or you could just be phlegmatic, and accept it and make it as good as it can be.
But I really do feel for you...it took many years for me to not feel hard done by!
BTW, after 30 years in the NHS, DH is working Christmas Day this year too! Luckily, the three children and I can still enjoy it and look forward to making it nice for when he gets home.
Thinking of you. X

I think as someone else said make it about the season rather than just the day. My LO is 3, and I’m working 8-8 this Christmas (NHS) so will be gone before he’s up and he’ll be in bed when I’m back. But he’ll be with his Dad and Grandparents and Cousins and will have a great time and we’ll all celebrate together on Boxing Day.

And there is normally a lovely atmosphere at work on Christmas Day and always lots of food! I also enjoy getting home and getting stuck into the leftovers 😂

What are you working Boxing Day? Just do it then. Do Christmas Eve and early start for presents and then have a second Christmas on Boxing Day. Surely your mum will plate you up a dinner for when you get home?

I have just swapped the day sometimes and we did "christmas" on whatever day we were both off.
Not christian and the actual day doesn't feel that significant for us so it was always just shifted around, I think we had two Christmases all together on actual christmas day but they felt no different to all of our adjusted ones.

It helped that we had a shift working family so everyone was off on different days so some years we would have multiple christmas celebrations by visiting family on different days. When children were little that helped to spread the excitement and everything out and put way less pressure on One Big Special Day. All the days were good and we had like 5 days of christmas with nice things on all of them.

One year my partner was off so he took the kids to his parents house on the 25th for grandparents christmas and then we still had 'our' christmas day on the 26th. Similarly I have been off and taken the children to my sisters house for cousin christmas.

We always tried to frame it as we are lucky and we get to have lots of christmas and its always been good.

We normally have lots of xmas’ one with my family. One with his family. Sometimes one with my sister if she’s working or with her DH family.
The only bit (IMO) which can’t be changed is the present opening. Which you’ll be there for anyway as the kids will be up at the crack of dawn.

So arrange to go to your mums on Boxing Day or xmas eve and do the same thing as you usually do. We end up eating about 4 xmas dinners over the festive period always have done and we did when we were kids too and loved it. I remember xmas at home,xmas with my grandparents, xmas with my cousins, xmas with my other grandparents over the course of about 2 weeks. Xmas is definitely not a 1 day event in our house

Just moved it to another day. When younger the kids never even realised. When older we just explained I had to work and Santa comes on a different day when this happens. Obviously when older again just said, we’re doing it on x day this year as I’m working. Can’t recall what ages they were but one year couldn’t do it until a week or so into Jan, didn’t matter.

So, it’s my husband that works (offshore) and does 12h night or day shifts and some years is gone for 3 weeks others he gets home before new year.

So we don’t move Christmas Day etc etc. as we focus on creating traditions and experiences for the kids. We don’t want the focus to be on “how sad that daddy can’t be here”. I’d wake the kids up earlier to open a couple of presents and then let the day pan out as it always does - morning at home, afternoon at granny’s. And plan to do something lovely too on Boxing Day.

A few years ago, my daughter was having chemo on Christmas Day as an impatient. We had an early Christmas Day a week early with an Eve, presents, dinner etc. it was lovely! The real Christmas Day had the pressure taken off because we'd already had ours. It's just a day x

What times are your shift? At home, change the hour you celebrate. So if 6am til 6pm, early get up then evening for presents and some nice food, have dinner the next day? Not easy I know, thankfully not every year . At work the patients will won't be wanting to be in hospital either, so got to all try to make it as happy and festive as possible.

As a police officer, when my Dad to work on Christmas day, we used to work around the times. If is 2pm til 2am we would have a family morning then go and see grandparents and have an early Christmas dinner. I look back now and think heck, so hard to go to work after that, especially in that line of work. Hardest was probably 6pm to 6am, just want to be cosy and relax but nope, uniform on, mentally prepare for what Christmas night holds in the world of crime!

So guess you just have to make the most of what the time offers, which people in other types of jobs won't understand. Xx