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Original poster

'very unwell'. Dr Speak

48 replies

CotesDuNone · 09/10/2024 08:02

My dad was found on the floor of his home yesterday, the ambulance thinks he'd possibly been there for 48 hours. I live 4 hours away and was unable to contact him so was calling everyone and anyone yesterday to do a welfare check on him. He lives a very solitary life, and is a very complex man. Undiagnosed ASD and trauma.
He was taken by ambulance to hopsital and was taken into resus. The consultant called me yesterday and told me my dad was 'very unwell'! I can't get my head around it. He is normally a big strong man and I was hoping he would just need a once over.
What do they mean when they say 'very unwell'?

To add, the consultant told me that if his heart gives up they are unlikely to give him any intervention due to the trauma and his qulaity of life after. I already feel like I'm greiving him but just seriously praying he will rally and pull through.

I'm going to drive to see him today as I can't bear to think of him alone, especially if the worst scenario happens.

OP posts:
ThanksItsUncleFranks · 09/10/2024 08:04

I'm sorry, OP. I don't think the phrase has a specific medical connotation. Rather the doctor is telling you that things look bad for your dad. I'm sorry.

FairCrow · 09/10/2024 08:06

I'm sorry. I would also take this as a version of 'it is not looking good'.

fourelementary · 09/10/2024 08:08

Sorry to hear about your dad @CotesDuNone, yeah “very unwell” I guess is the Drs way of saying how poorly your dad is- possibly as a result of the long lie which can do a lot of damage- muscle loss, pressure ulcers, dehydration etc and the fact he fell in the first place may have been down to an underlying condition. So he was warning you that your dad faces a real risk. I hope you can get some answers and reassurance when you see him. Maybe it is time to look at long term care or sheltered housing?

MissyB1 · 09/10/2024 08:09

I think the Dr is trying to warn you how serious your dad's condition is. I'm sorry you're going through this, drive carefully.

Original poster
CotesDuNone · 09/10/2024 08:11

@fourelementary Thank you. They said he has a serious chest infection and his kidneys arent doing too well, possibly from the dehydration. They said the infection markers in his blood are very high and are currently pumping him full of antibiotics. He's having a CT scan today as his tummy is very distended also.

When I last spoke to him he sounded like he'd mentally given up on life. I just hope this isn't the case.

OP posts:
Anonym00se · 09/10/2024 08:13

I’m sorry OP, I echo what the others have said. “Very unwell” from a doctor means it’s not looking good.

But I just wanted to add that we were told dd was ‘very unwell’ when she had sepsis and her kidneys were failing, but she did pull through, thank god! Don’t give up hope. x

bluecomputerscreen · 09/10/2024 08:23

very unwell = go and see him as soon as possible as he might be close to dying

they wouldn't have called you at all if it was just a sprain

arthar · 09/10/2024 08:27

I once thanked a GP, when I was in for my own appointment, who had gone over and above for my Dad. Won't bore you with the detail but he actually had a blood clot, ended up with a PE and was in hospital for quite some time.

She said to me 'he was a very unwell man' - he was very unwell but he did recover, that was few years ago. Having no treatment would have killed him, being in hospital saved him

wanttogetadvice · 09/10/2024 08:35

very unwell is their way of them telling you that it's time to come see him. Praying that he gets better with a good quality of life.

LemonySippet · 09/10/2024 08:37

My husband was sent into hospital with the GP ringing them and saying the phrase "he is a very unwell man", he was admitted with suspected sepsis but it turned out to be a rare acute leukaemia and without intervention he would have died within days. He was in hospital for 3 months.

Hospital is the right place to be and hopefully they can figure out the best course of treatment for your dad. Best wishes OP.

ComingBackHome · 09/10/2024 08:38

bluecomputerscreen · 09/10/2024 08:23

very unwell = go and see him as soon as possible as he might be close to dying

they wouldn't have called you at all if it was just a sprain

I’m sorry @CotesDuNone but I agree with Blue.
Id go and see your dad asap.

MissRachelismycoparent · 09/10/2024 08:41

I'm sorry OP, sadly very unwell means the believe he might be near the end. Especially if they have spoken to you about DNR.

My mum was very poorly and they used that term, she unfortunately passed a few hours later. He may well pull through but i would go to see him very soon Flowers

Chillisintheair · 09/10/2024 08:46

I wish medical staff were more direct and didn’t speak in codes it’s really unhelpful. I find more experienced doctors tend to be more comfortable at being direct.

“very unwell” generally means he will be one of the more sicker patients in the hospital and they think there is chance he will die. At the moment it can be very up in the air but from your description it does sound like he maybe at the end if his life.

I’ve found you need to be very direct and ask out right “Is he going to die?” and “what is the prognosis?”.

I would pack comfortable clothes, especially for being in hospital over night sitting next to him.

kirinm · 09/10/2024 09:31

He is obviously very unwell however my brother suffered a major head trauma and the hospital told us that it was important that we come to the hospital - there they did think he was going to die. He didn't thankfully.

Normallynumb · 09/10/2024 12:27

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad
I'm afraid it means there is a possibility he may not recover
The 48 hours on the floor would have caused muscle wastage and a likely kidney injury, along with an infection.

It must be a shock but please go and see him, and drive carefully

LIZS · 09/10/2024 12:43

"Very unwell" means he may not recover, sorry.

Zilla1 · 09/10/2024 12:58

HNRTT but ;very unwell' means don't delay coming to see him. It means much more than 'there's a chance he will die' as that applies to many patents.

Sorry to hear this and good luck.

BloodyAdultDC · 09/10/2024 13:00

bluecomputerscreen · 09/10/2024 08:23

very unwell = go and see him as soon as possible as he might be close to dying

they wouldn't have called you at all if it was just a sprain

This.

Go visit op, as soon as you can.

betterangels · 09/10/2024 13:01

bluecomputerscreen · 09/10/2024 08:23

very unwell = go and see him as soon as possible as he might be close to dying

they wouldn't have called you at all if it was just a sprain

This is my experience. I'm sorry.

DoAWheelie · 09/10/2024 13:04

It means go in asap. I got that call from the hospital about my OH who had gone in with a mild chest infection. I live a 7 min drive from the hospital and he was dead before I got there.

coffeesaveslives · 09/10/2024 13:07

Yes, it means go and see him - now.

I'm sorry Flowers

Strictlymad · 09/10/2024 13:07

Yes I have to agree with others, a dr saying very unwell means they aren’t sure if they will pull through. It’s what drs said to e when my son had meningitis, i asked if he wood make it and that was their response followed by we are doing all we can. Thankfully he is a happy two year old now, but it does mean it’s serious. Sending you love xx

PersephoneAgrees · 09/10/2024 13:13

I hope you are with your dad now, and able to offer him some comfort. He may recover, he may not, but having you by his side might make all the difference to him. Sending positive thoughts.

Zilla1 · 09/10/2024 20:21

Terribly sorry to hear PP's experiences, @DoAWheelie and others.

Original poster
CotesDuNone · 10/10/2024 08:49

Thank you for all your kind messages. I managed to make it to my dad and spend 5 hours with him. I know they said he was unwell, but I didn't expect what I witnessed. He was very distressed and agitated and struggling to hold on. He did clam down after some sedative, so we let him sleep. He passed just after we left. I got to tell him I love him. xx

OP posts:
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