I don't think DS will do well if he does A levels, I'm right to keep quiet though aren't I?

[Cremedemar193]

DS is in year 11. He has potential to do well but I've seen absolutely no evidence of study. His end of year 10 results were OK considering how little work he did (ranging from 4 to 6a).

He wants to do Geography, Business and Law at A level. I think he'll struggle as I know the dedication it takes and he simply won't put the effort in. I think he'd be better doing something vocational.

I haven't said a word of this to anyone (other than DH). Im right to keep quiet aren't I? He needs to find his own path etc. and I know theres still time for him to knuckle down, I just can't see it happening.

He wants to do 6th form because all his mates and his girlfriend are.

My son went from similar yr 10 grades to getting 7s and 6s in GCSEs a year later so was able to stay at his school for A Levels.

I spoke to him about all the options available including Btecs. The only offer he had during year 11 was for a sixth form college. None of the school sixth forms offered him a place based on his poor mock grades. On results day he ended up having a choice of 4 schools.

A lot can happen in a year so it's important to talk about all the options and try to have a back up plan.

Good luck 😊

But don't be afraid to talk to him!

You do realise there is more to vocational courses than traditional 'trades' don't you? Have a look at what is out there, there is a lot of choice.

And take him to lots of different open days...not just traditional sixth forms with a levels but also colleges and let him see what other options there are.

I’m not sure why you see a “vocational” course as requiring less effort and focus? It sounds like failure to apply himself/laziness his issue, not intelligence, but you can’t just breeze through and electrician or plumbing or gas engineer course with no effort and expect to get your qualification.

By suggesting something vocational you are not addressing the actual problem, just recreating it in a different context.

@TeenToTwenties I have been looking online for months at local colleges and can't see anything which would be a good fit, or that wouldn't narrow his options, when he doesn't know what he wants to do anyway! Other than be rich! And he shuts down attempted conversations on it as well which makes it even trickier!

Sorry, my misunderstanding there-you mention a range from a 4 above. IME those predicted 4’s do not improve on them unless they do some solid work.

Yes. You are right to keep quiet. At this age, he needs to learn the consequences of his actions! Very well done for not interfering - rare these days.

I think you really need to talk to him. "Being rich" is such an immature idea unless he's got the drive to back it up. No problem if he doesn't know what he wants to do - maybe start with what he definitely doesn't want to do.

I couldn't disagree more. You need to ensure he fully understands his options - starting with what he could do with his current predicted grades. Once you have done that it's up to him to do or not do the work.

Is the gf academic? Sometimes the partner leads the way to some ambition

Op don't lose hope of him doing well. Study isn't the new ask and end all. I always retained a huge amount of the information I'd learned in class and could pass without too much effort. My daughter failed every single one of her GCSE mocks despite being very intelligent and being predicted good grades between 5-8s across the board. She went into a mental health crisis last Xmas that results in an ADHD diagnosis which she was medicated for in March. She totally turned it around and only failed one GCSE due to missing course work and still managed to get strong passes in everything else despite being a total school avoider for 4 months. She too signed up for A levels in engineering but realised after a week she wasn't a fan of the way the course was delivered so swapped to a different college and is now doing engineering T levels. ITs all delivered in a hands on format that really helps to keep her engaged and I know she will do better on this course than in the one that was more class room based. The uni she wants to go to accepts T levels so it's all good. But do definitely check what it is he hopes to do later and make sure the course is compatible.

I know it’s early but has he any idea what he wants to do as a career? There’s more of a weigh up between how much uni costs and how much it adds to your life chances. Some of my DC friends have 60k+ of ‘debt’ and are working jobs that they didn’t need a degree for. There’s so many going to uni and the loan conditions have changed so it’s more of a burden than when we went. Problem is you don’t pay it off for a while after uni as you are below the threshold and the loan interest builds up and when you do get up to the threshold it’s taken out your wage so you ‘stand still’. The friends that went straight into apprenticeships then jobs now have savings and are getting cars and renting their own place in their late twenties compared to the ones that went to uni and can’t afford to. The uni experience needs to be really worth it for the later payback.

Just thought I’d come back and update this, just for fun really!

DS seriously knuckled down, without any nagging from me. He got 8s in the subjects he’s taking at A level, 6-6 in science, 8 in English language, 7 in literature and a 5 in maths.

All that worrying from me for nothing!

That’s great news, you must be so proud! Good luck to him with his A levels

Well done to him!