Any ideas to make bedtime routine a bit quicker?! (4yo)

[famofthree]

Looking for some tips from parents who've been here before! Our son is 4 (started reception last month), and his bedtime routine has been gradually getting longer and longer to the point that I'm simply desperate for the moment he's finally asleep! (Love the bones of him but honestly I'm knackered!)

I don't believe he needs a later bedtime as such, and I just know he's tired enough. I'm 99% sure he needs to fall asleep around 7.30. Even if I vary his bedtime he will always wake up and precisely the same time the next morning and the last thing I want to do is make him even more tired...

BUT, his routine is getting so long! Before bath he will often need the loo but has started taking aaaages doing that! Then in the bath there's always one more thing he wants to play. I've started reaching in and pulling the plug out but he will sit there until all the waters drained out! (He's very strong willed btw).

Once in his bedroom he plays silly games, hiding under his bed etc and getting his pyjamas on takes an absolute AGE!

We then read books. We've limited it to two stories (he chooses them out of 3 I've got down from his book shelf), and that works quite well, but again it takes aaaages as he pours over every page and points at everything, asks questions and so on. It's great that he's engaging of course.

Then finally into bed (though often with a few detours round his bedroom) and then it will be questions, him wanting a story from when our memories, then another, asking all sorts of things and offloading about his day (this won't happen at other times. I know it's quite common for kids to release this stuff at bedtime so again I'm loathe to rush him too much). Anyway this bit takes aaaages.

Then I sing him songs and he will often interrupt to ask more stuff - random questions, just as I think he's nodding off. If I leave him to go to sleep by himself he'll sit up and call out or get out of bed so I've gone back to singing him to sleep as at least once he's finally asleep I can make sure!

The whole process takes 1.5 hours, sometimes nearly 2 hours!

Has anyone got any good little tips and tricks for reducing this amount of time whilst still doing the meaningful stuff like reading and offloading?

Thank you

My 4 year old would drag bedtime out for ages if I let him too but DH and I have dinner after him and his sister are in bed so I’m pretty firm with him otherwise we’d be eating at 10pm!
I’d let the water out of the bath earlier and say he has to get out when the waters gone and maybe limit reading to just one book.
We have one story then I turn out his light and stay for a five minute cuddle. If he’s still not really sleepy I just leave him with his night light on looking at a book but I leave him to it rather than stay with him and he’s usually asleep after ten minutes or so.
If you’re worried about missing out on time for him chatting to you maybe start winding down a bit earlier but honestly it’s most likely just a delaying tactic on his part. No 4 year old wants to go to bed 🤣

Bit harsh from me but you just need to tell him what is or isn't happening and then do it! Set a finish time and tell him it. He's old enough to understand that.
So if bath starts at 6.45 you tell him it is lights out by 7.30 so there is 45 mins together.
Bath. One story. One song. Done. . If he winges to start with or starts doing the other things, then it still finishes at 7.30 whateevre is happening, and say night night.
He's having a wonderful time at the moment. You've given him.complete free reign and control so of course it takes ages!
But really the age he is at he can understand that there are rules and routines, set by you not him, to follow. A new shorter routine can still be fun and warm and lovely for you both.
Good luck!

He's 4.. He really doesn't need sang to sleep. Why not suggest he chooses 1 thing per night? Either a song /story /.. Adding the props is what's taking the time.

I would drop the daily bath and definitely stop the songs they are unnecessary.

He needs to go up get changed, brush his teeth and have one story. If he wants to muck about I would be leaving him to it. The more you pander to him getting up and indulging him the more he's going to do it.

Ok, thank you! Gosh everyone sounds very strict! We are very boundaried in the sense that he always starts bath at the same time, no negotiation over a later bedtime, and we do things in the same order - bath, stories, bed etc. But yes we need to be firmer with amount of time it's taking.

I don't want bedtime to be unpleasant though, and I want it to be peaceful.
^
Not sure about skipping bath altogether either.^

Sorry italics fail

Does the 1.5 hours include the bath?

It is normal for them to drag it out, and you say he's just started reception so has had a huge change so he's probably unsettled and needs you a bit more.

I would just start things a little earlier and not change much, personally.

Sometimes they just need more attention, and big changes can trigger that.

I'd stop singing him to sleep though, I'd do a song or two if that's his routine but it's better for him to get used to settling down himself.

No bath here at night. No need for a daily bath. If they need a bath/shower it's done then they arrive home. Always a wash and change of clothes after arriving home. Often into pajamas.

We did a 15 min routine.
Reading, singing, prayers, cuddles and a good night.
Ours like to listen to childrens' mindfullness in bed after our goodnight.

Never been unpleasent btw.

I would set a count down clock for 7.30, and tell him that is the time you have to be downstairs for your dinner, or it will get cold etc. then he gets to chose what he wants to fit in that time..so if he takes ages in the bath, just say fine…but you only have this many minutes left so you might not be able to fit in 3 stories. There will be a couple of nights where he wont be happy as he will miss something compared to his old freewheeling days, but he will learn about boundaries, being thoughtful about other people’s time and that the world doesnt revolve around him…. all of which will help him in his adult life.