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Original poster

Telling my friend I'm pregnant and will be almost 9 months pregnant on her wedding day when I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid

31 replies

AmberPoet · 08/10/2024 12:39

Hi all,

I have my friend around on Friday to tell her I'm pregnant. I have been dreading this moment because I have to tell her I am due 9 days after her wedding, which I am supposed to be bridesmaid for. I will give her the option to ask me to stand down, or I can buy myself a new dress, and do the best that I can on the lead up and on the day. But I am conscious this may be limited and that may upset her as once she has a vision in her head, she gets upset if that vision isn't met and I know this is going to be one of those moments.

How do I best approach this?

Thanks x

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 08/10/2024 13:40

Honestly she wouldn’t be a very good friend if she isn’t happy for you.

Original poster
AmberPoet · 08/10/2024 14:19

CadoAvo · 08/10/2024 12:50

How far away is the wedding/due date? And is your dress already bought?

Honestly, if she reacts negatively that will say a lot about her. Having been a bride last year I totally get how it can consume you to try and have the perfect day without being a bridezilla. However the day will pass her before she knows it and anything she worried about beforehand will seem really stupid afterwards. I'd honestly be thrilled if anyone told me they were pregnant.

I think by offering alternatives such as offering to stand down, buy a new dress etc is all you can do.

However if she asks you to stand down I'd be annoyed. If you want to stand down though then totally understandable as you might go into labour, or find the day tough at 9 months pregnant.

The bridesmaid dress is already bought 😩
I was also a bride last year and I would've been completely fine with her standing down if it was the other way around. But then again, I'm super laid back about these things.

OP posts:
Waterboatlass · 08/10/2024 14:32

Congratulations! A friend will be delighted.

I'd say suggest options, show you've thought about it- she is likely to appreciate that: to stand down and enjoy the day as a guest if the baby doesn't appear that day, defer a decision on what to do until you have a better idea how you might be feeling or maybe help find dresses that have some room for manoeuvre in the tailoring for your bump if you go ahead (quality jersey or floaty styles maybe).

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Seasmoke · 08/10/2024 14:37

AmberPoet · 08/10/2024 14:19

The bridesmaid dress is already bought 😩
I was also a bride last year and I would've been completely fine with her standing down if it was the other way around. But then again, I'm super laid back about these things.

Show quote history

I mean you won't be able to wear it anyway, so it will make no difference. It's easiest to just tell her do she can return it/ get someone else.

user2848502016 · 08/10/2024 14:46

Just tell her , there's still lots of time before the wedding and you're giving her he option of you pulling out of being bridesmaid (which may be the best option really).
If she kicks off maybe she's not as good a friend as you thought

1234Kitty · 11/06/2025 22:27

This happened to me. My maid of honour was due a week after my wedding. I couldn’t have been happier for them and they made me godmother. He’s now 20.
Congratulations to you, your friend should be happy for you.

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