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Original poster

How can someone be so forgetful

25 replies

Sillysillygirl · 08/10/2024 10:55

I'm feeling so silly. I had booked my exam for a certification today.

I forgot to carry my ID 🪪 and was refused to enter. I'm feeling so bad words cannot describe. I cried for a good half hour while being shouted at by my partner.

I woke up at 5 to get there in time 🤦🏻‍♀️😭 I may have to spend ££ for booking my next exam.

Looking back I am very forgetful. Once I forgot to take my laptop to office as I was WFH day before. Someone has to always remind me to take things.

OP posts:
blackandgold88 · 08/10/2024 10:59

Oh no! Sending hugs!🫂 Perimenopause has given me brain fog so I can sympathise! I find making notes and setting reminders in my phone helps as does getting my belongings ready / packing my bags the night before x

Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 09/10/2024 14:40

I'm not sure if I am peri. I'm only mid 30s.

But I'm sure I do forget a lot. I once forgot where I kept house keys. We had two extra but it was a challenge sometimes as couldn't leave one with neighbors/ family for some reason.

I then found out 8 months later in the pocket of my trench coat that I had packed up the year before. This was after I cleaned the whole house thrice and searched for and asked for lost keys at my work place and even at the train station I go to.

I'm sure it happens with a lot of people but it happens with me every few months.

OP posts:
Onlyonekenobe · 09/10/2024 14:44

You need a system, and/or to do things the night before. Check and double check.

ginasevern · 09/10/2024 14:47

Write yourself notes. Get a calendar and write everything on it. Not just the appointment, but anything you have to take with you. Leave the thing you need to take by the kettle (or somewhere you're likely to look) the night before. You need to plan and then plan some more.

IslandShore · 09/10/2024 14:48

Put your things out the night before. Use checklists. You aren’t the first to forget id. I am more concerned as to why your partner shouted at you! That’s not right. Just rebook your exam and forgive yourself.

Hydrangea58 · 09/10/2024 14:48

Get a day to day calendar and use it to write down everything you need for the day. Check it before you leave home.

Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 09/10/2024 14:50

I know. I have rebooked now and set up 3 alerts on my phone. Also asked my mum to remind me. She's very good at nagging and reminding 🫠
Already made my bag with my photo ID to take on the day. It's basically the only absolutely necessary thing I need on the day !!

OP posts:
Attelina · 09/10/2024 14:55

I have a zipped Filofax that runs my life!

It's brilliant/

BigDahliaFan · 09/10/2024 14:56

Why was your partner shouting at you? If that's a usual reaction to you forgetting things it's probably not helping!

FrenchandSaunders · 09/10/2024 14:56

Why was he shouting OP, that sounds awful and won't help.

ahemfem · 09/10/2024 14:57

Why is he shouting at you? It's your exam. You're the one who has to pay for it again tell him to fuck off.

SilenceInside · 09/10/2024 14:58

Echoing others, why on earth was your partner shouting at you? That's a massive and aggressive overreaction to an issue. Is he always like that?

MrSeptember · 09/10/2024 14:58

Are you generally disorganised - find it hard to plan things eg if you're having people over for dinner is that a huge stress for you? Are you often late? Do your friends/family refer to you as chaotic at times? You say your mum is good at nagging and reminding you - has she had to do this for you your whole life? Do you find it quite difficult if sudden changes happen and you have to adapt your plans on the fly?

These are pretty common symptoms of ADHD.

Not in itself a huge deal unless its hugely impacting your life, and there are lots of strategies and tactics you can employ to help yourself.

Theyoungerwife · 09/10/2024 15:16

I what’s app myself important things I need to remember

DadJoke · 09/10/2024 15:22

I am very forgetful, and I deal with it using habits.

I always leave my keys and wallet in the same place. I have also air tagged both of them.

I have a spare set of keys at work and one in the back garden.

I have photos of my ID on my phone.

I set reminders on my calendar for everything and have checklists for common events (going on holiday for example)

Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 09/10/2024 15:37

So lot of people have asked why my partner shouted - yes he shouts often. But so do I at him when it gets to it.

He shouted because I was laid off from my high paying job earlier this year and he thinks off late I don't take anything seriously and make a habit of forgetting things and I often don't double check when leaving house.

It's a long story for another time but he was angry at me for not being there prepared for an exam and having to spend twice £££ for something that could have been done in one go. I'm studying for getting better at my chances of getting a job.

It's true it's my money but he's supportive overall in these times.

He said he thought to remind me to take everything I needed but didn't at the last moment because he thought I would be pissed off because he's being I don't know condescending that I can't remember a simple thing. On the other hand I told him if he did remind me maybe I didn't have to be in this situation and at the max it would have been a small eruption of emotion on my part avoiding a more bigger issue of spending more money and time.

As a PP have said yes I did have a copy of my passport and DL on my phone but they wanted an original to verify.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 09/10/2024 15:37

Hydrangea58 · 09/10/2024 14:48

Get a day to day calendar and use it to write down everything you need for the day. Check it before you leave home.

Thanks this is very helpful. I do that often on my calendar app on phone but digress and start doing other things. 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
ImNotReallySpartacus · 09/10/2024 15:48

Stress can affect memory and thinking processes. Your partner is not helping by contributing to your stress.

junebirthdaygirl · 09/10/2024 15:51

Was getting laid off from your job anything to do with being forgetful? My dc have Add/Adhd and their forgetfulness knows no bounds. They would do exactly what you did . I would look more into this.

Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 10/10/2024 08:45

MrSeptember · 09/10/2024 14:58

Are you generally disorganised - find it hard to plan things eg if you're having people over for dinner is that a huge stress for you? Are you often late? Do your friends/family refer to you as chaotic at times? You say your mum is good at nagging and reminding you - has she had to do this for you your whole life? Do you find it quite difficult if sudden changes happen and you have to adapt your plans on the fly?

These are pretty common symptoms of ADHD.

Not in itself a huge deal unless its hugely impacting your life, and there are lots of strategies and tactics you can employ to help yourself.

I think often I am not stressed. To answer your question, I don't host parties. I've only so far hosted a couple of birthday parties and that is often managed well between us.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 10/10/2024 08:46

ImNotReallySpartacus · 09/10/2024 15:48

Stress can affect memory and thinking processes. Your partner is not helping by contributing to your stress.

I have brought this upon him. And he's apologized to me a few times since then.

OP posts:
CeruleanBelt · 10/10/2024 08:48

Have you ever considered if you might have adhd/add?

I do and I'm incredibly forgetful. It might still be worth looking at techniques of how people with adhd/add work around their memory issues it might help.

Original poster
Sillysillygirl · 10/10/2024 14:20

Never considered. But I'm mid 30s so is it too late for diagnosis? I'll have to look private though as NHS waiting times are crazy.

Also a pp had asked: I was laid off due to performance concerns 1 year after I returned from maternity leave. It was a bit of forgetting technically but I was very organized at work.

Don't think it's related.

OP posts:
MrSeptember · 10/10/2024 14:24

Sillysillygirl · 10/10/2024 08:45

I think often I am not stressed. To answer your question, I don't host parties. I've only so far hosted a couple of birthday parties and that is often managed well between us.

Show quote history

These are just examples. It really comes down to whether this sort of organisation is difficult for you. I missed that you'd been laid off, that's also ineresting and suggests that it does impact your life significantly so it might well be worth exploring a diagnosis.

CeruleanBelt · 10/10/2024 15:05

Sillysillygirl · 10/10/2024 14:20

Never considered. But I'm mid 30s so is it too late for diagnosis? I'll have to look private though as NHS waiting times are crazy.

Also a pp had asked: I was laid off due to performance concerns 1 year after I returned from maternity leave. It was a bit of forgetting technically but I was very organized at work.

Don't think it's related.

I got diagnosed at 36 and it's been completely life changing to have my diagnosis.

I get adjustments at work now - extra breaks, more time to do things, software to help me for some examples and it's made my life a lot easier. So it's definitely been worthwhile for me.

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