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Dreadful at birthdays

4 replies

whatisforteamum · 08/10/2024 08:41

Looking for other posters stories.
My DH has always been poor at b days.
Cards and flowers from the garage,same cheap chocs it became a joke with the dcs.
He did become more thoughtful for a few yrs though probably jollyed on by dcs.
This year he excelled himself.
He text me.He was on a work break.
The text was to say his brother's m in law had died.A stranger to us.!!
No mention of happy b day.
I got a card at 630 pm.
Needless to say I buy my own stuff and treat myself.
Anyone else's other half this bad? 😭
He always gave me the card when the day is almost over.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 08/10/2024 08:53

Both me & H are rubbish at birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas. We get each other token presents from the kids that we send links to each other for. We think it's all just another unnecessary hassle we are grown ups we put all the birthday fuss into the kids.

Saying this H works like a dog to provide whatever we all need/want, loves us all every day, will do anything, drop anything, take us where we want to go, takes the kids to sport, comes to anything I buy tickets for, arranges days out, never takes out his stress or mood on any of us, he's loyal, devoted, kind, funny, hot, generous, honest, I guess we just don't need special gestures on particular days because they are there all the time. The kids, as they grow are understanding similar.

So yes, regarding birthdays my H is just as rubbish. But that's ok.

MoonWoman69 · 08/10/2024 08:54

My husband is the exact same! We've been together 34 years, married for 29 of those and it's always been like that. My issue is that it's so hit and miss, birthdays and Christmas, it's a lottery as to whether I get a card or an acknowledgement or not. He couldn't care less about his birthday and if it wasn't for me and his auntie, he wouldn't get a card and it doesn't bother him in the least! His sister never bothers with a birthday card, but then he never bothers with her birthday either! So I have changed my mindset over the past few years - don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed! And it works! Don't get me wrong, he's generous in other ways, I never want for anything at all. But he knows a card means more to me than presents, I'm a giver, not a taker. Men just aren't bothered about these things like we are.

whatisforteamum · 08/10/2024 08:57

That's good to know.
We're both not overly generous with big gifts however a card or text in the day would be nice.

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MoonWoman69 · 08/10/2024 10:14

I totally agree with you there. It just shows you're thought and cared about 💐

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