What is humility with examples

[Baihai18o]

I was told off by boss for not having humility and would like to fix this to get on better. Can you please tell me what exactly is humility by your understanding with examples please. Yes I have seen it in the dictionary but don’t know how to put into practice. I must not lose my job. Thanks in advance

That is such a lovely example. Humility is such a precious character trait but sadly doesn’t seem to be valued much these days. It makes people likeable and relatable.

Not speaking or behaving proudly, or like you think you are the best even if you actually are, in any area of life. Not trying to control other's lives, opinions, likes and dislikes, not seeking attention with any means

Accepting you may have made a mistake. That you're not perfect. That you don't know everything. That you're still learning. That other people matter as much as you do.

This poster has a point.
If you want examples watch every single thing that Donald Trump does and do the exact opposite.

I think you should be asking your boss for examples of the behaviour they'd like to see. Admit that you don't understand what humility means in this context. Ironically, that will display a level of humility in itself.

An example in education - DD1 has SEN and is quite a complex character. Without fail, someone who is new to working with her declares that they 'have met many DD1's in their time' and know exactly how to deal with her. Then, a few days or weeks later, they come to the realisation that she's actually a bit more complicated than they thought.

If they were displaying humility, they would say 'You've known DD1 for 18 years, what do you think I need to know about her?' Then they might say 'Ah, yes, I've had a student in the past who had similar reactions. I found x, y, z, worked for them. Do you think that would be a good approach for DD1?' 'Let's follow up in a few weeks and I'll let you know how we're getting on.'

The first approach just makes me think that they haven't got a clue what they're doing. The second approach makes me feel like they really want things to work for DD1 and that they're willing to make it work.

As a parent (a 'customer'), feeling understood is very reassuring.

What kind of industry/sector are you in OP? So what kind of clients? Eg in a shop/legal practice/ financial services?

Humility? Really listening to the other person. Coming in with an unspoken attitude that you're there to help. If you get something wrong, show willingness to learn (I suspect you can do the last one well - you're already adapting in the way you asked the second time for more examples)

Saying thank you for things. A good example on this thread would be thanking people for their answers. It shows appreciation for them trying to help.

An example from an old workplace: A patient became critically unwell, very suddenly. Lots of people sprung into action, all making quite a lot of noise, all trying to help. One of the most senior nurses didn't spring. She quietly stood at the back of the commotion, noting down the physical observations of the patient, making sure that once they were stable the doctors would be able to determine what had happened and when.

The opposite behaviour is pride, boastful, dismissive of other's opinions - it's often seen in people who are very bright and intolerant of others who aren't - don't suffer fools gladly - which is very problematic when dealing with clients as the individual can insult and irritate without even trying, they come across like they know best and even if they do - their delivery gets everyone's back's up and creates bumps rather than removing them - clients won't put up with it and so it's risky to put someone who lacks humility in charge of a project, they can seriously piss people off.

Humility is also acknowledging other people's efforts, not taking sole credit. Eg getting praise. '"well done on getting that customer to extend their contract" and showing humility with the answer "I couldn't have done it without the back office team moving everything so fast. They are so good at what they do."

If someone says X is correct but you think the opposite is correct, don't assume you are right and they are wrong but keep an open mind. Ask questions about what led them to think X and try to understand where they are coming from. You learn a lot of interesting things this way. If they are indeed wrong, be gentle/empathetic about how you communicate this.

I think it's not being defensive and willing to see someone might be right and you were wrong - or that you both had a point and you are willing to concede.

This happened to me recently where a very junior colleague found fault with something I had done. I argued my point and truthfully, we were both right in different ways. However, I went home and thought about it, and thought, actually she was quite brave to bring it up plus if she thought it wasn't right, she may not be the only one (public facing) so it was easier to amend what I had done then potentially upset people (regardless of whether I thought it was a silly thing to get upset over).

Encourage other people to share their ideas - and acknowledge their contributions - don't dismiss people and their ideas who you view as more junior to you. Build relationships with people of all levels. There is always something to learn from everyone - don't forget that.

British culture in general is pretty deferential. Its not the most direct language, lots of politeness etc.

@Baihai18o have a look at the goblin tools website and the Judge tool, you can put a passage of text in it, such as an email before you send it and it will judge and tell you about the tone that is being given off and why it suggests that particular tone. That might be really useful if English isn't your first language.

Think the opposite of humility. It's an inflated idea of your own importance, skills and ability. Me me me. And putting others down and maybe making them feel inferior. Do you do any of these things?

I was just about to make this point. OP says English is her second language. There may be cultural differences at play here. Just an example but I have Eastern European friends who are very forthright and may appear rude to people who don’t know them. They’re absolutely lovely people, but far more direct than us Brits due to their language, and it can come across as arrogant or haughty. E.g. we might say “Could you pass that to me please?”, where they’d just say “Give it to me”.

My son won a prize for humility at school 😂 I think it's not drawing attention to your own achievements and contributions.

Yes my Polish friends sometimes make me whince they are so direct and natter of fact

I was told off by boss for not having humility and would like to fix this to get on better
It's not responsible of your boss to just say ' you're not having humility' - you should ask your boss to show you the way they want you to interact with clients and give examples of where you may be going wrong?

An example of a lack of humility is someone who takes the best place at the table without being invited there. A display of humility is someone who sits at the least favourite place as they don't think so highly of themselves. They don't feel they're above anyone else.

Think how you like people to speak to you. What is your first language? If you're Dutch we simply won't be able to help you, it's a character trait for your nation.

Thanks all
Much appreciated

can anyone give insight how to hold a conversation about a possible promotion but how to do that with humility so as not to cause offence and maximise chances of success

thanks again

Chat gbt is great. It answers all questions. and even helps to word the most random of sentences. Maybe type that specific request in and see what it says.