Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What to do when therapy just doesn't help?

2 replies

WhatToDooooooooo · 07/10/2024 18:24

I'm going through a rough patch: I want to divorce my husband but am unemployed largely as a result of having a child together, I need to get a job in order to be able to leave my miserable marriage but am not having any luck, and I'm very socially isolated due to moving somewhere new at the start of a pandemic. Additionally, I am autistic and find change very difficult and really struggle with executive processing.

After the birth of my child, I was diagnosed with PTSD and eventually managed to see a therapist on the local equivalent of the NHS. This is not my first time in therapy: I had 10ish sessions of CBT in my early 20s. I didn't find it particularly helpful at the time - it all felt very simplistic, and although I recognised that I had (and still have) negative thought patterns, none of the tools really helped me change them. Honestly, I think my thought patterns, while negative, are realistic.

Anyways, now I'm in therapy nominally to help with the PTSD but actually mostly we try and deal with all of the other less than ideal aspects of my current situation. The problem is that I feel the same way about the therapist's approaches as I did with the previous round of therapy: it's just so simplistic and doesn't seem to help me in the least. I don't find drawing my mood on a thermometer helpful, or trying to label my negative thoughts, or filling in a weekly planner. It all just feels infantilising and futile.

I do try and take the exercises seriously, I do all the homework and engage in discussions with it. But at the end of the day, when the therapist asks how I feel about X or Y technique, or whether I've made any progress with Z, I have to answer honestly. I know I sound like a negative Nancy, but this stuff just isn't helping me. Now it seems like the therapist is trying to move me on (sessions are less frequent, talking about referring me to a career service instead) and I'm just stuck with all of the other stuff I'm dealing with AND feeling like I've failed therapy too, on top of failing marriage, childbirth, and my career.

It is beginning to feel like my mental health is a lost cause, but I'm wondering if there's anything specific I can or should be asking the therapist for? Any particular techniques that might be helpful? Or can anyone recommend any books or something? Words of advice? Unfortunately, because it's on the health service I can't be too choosy in the therapist on offer and going private isn't an option for me.

OP posts:
SocksTalk · 07/10/2024 18:33

I think you are wasting your time with CBT for any sort of PTSD or trauma.

You need to see a psychotherapist or trauma therapist and probably for a long time.
If it was a one off cause of PTSD then maybe EMDR is an option but I don't know much about EMDR.

WhatToDooooooooo · 07/10/2024 19:09

Yes, it was as a result of the birth, so a one-off incident. I agree that a trauma-specific approach would be helpful. Can you just ask the therapist for this, or would it be better to try and get referred elsewhere?

She is a clinical psychologist (so I might be wrong in using the term therapist? not really sure what all the different terminology means). It wasn't her that diagnosed me with PTSD originally, and to be honest I don't think she thinks I fit the criteria for PTSD. She thinks I have anxiety, depression, and an adjustment disorder.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread