Speech & Language Delay - 34 Month SOn

[GIH]

My Son in 34 Months and is delayed in Speech and Language. He can say Hiya, Bye Bye (both while waving) he loves saying hello to people & Dogs when we're out. He Say's Da' or Dada sometimes, Go and Come on, but not clearly, babbles constantly while playing with figures but only half says a few other things like good dog, and our dogs name. My biggest worry is the lack of understanding, he doesnt know (or at least show he knows) what you're asking him most of the time. For example, he wouldn't know to get his shoes if you asked him to, or be able to point something out.. he's very much in his own world when it comes to that.. and doesnt instantly respond if you call his name. He does know where everything is, so points out the cupboard his snacks are in if hungry, goes to the fridge if he wants a yoghurt and give you the squash bottle if thirsty etc. He's very happy but the only way he can show it's not what he wants is through frustration small tantrums. He's very stubborn, hates holding hands after a while if out shopping or walking and hits the deck the moment you try to put reins on him. Another worry I have is he doesn't really share his excitement or interests with me, he rarely brings me a toy to interact with or shows much interest in people like grandparents if they come to visit. He also doesnt make too much eye contact and very rarely stares back at me like a few of my friends toddlers do.. if he's busy playing, he wont stop to show me anything or respond to his name being called.

At his 2 year check the HV didnt seem to have any worrys about him, said he seemed just like a happy little boy who wasnt speaking yet. She did put him forward for further assessments as we had shared our concerns (Still waiting for Hearing Test and speech and Language assessment).. at his check up a few weeks ago he wouldn't sit down to carry out most of the tasks.. he did complete a simple puzzle and build a tower with blocks, but then wanted to explore the room and try to escape. The doctor said there were a few autistic traits but would say if anything he may be more towards ADHD as he's 'a whirlwind'. She did say a lot could be down to the Speech and Language delay and these things may improve as he starts to understand more. But then said they wouldnt start to say they're non verbal until they're 4! Which after leaving has been playing on my mind.. and just wanted to see if anyone elses little one was similar but caught up with speech etc.. I feel everyone I speak to just tells me what I want to hear, "oh he's a boy they do take longer", "my friends child didnt speak until after they were 3" or "he'll be fine he's just stubborn" etc..

any insight / advice would be greatly appreciated..

That's a fairly significant delay and I'd be pushing for a referral to speech and language as soon as possible.

Does he attend nursery/pre-school/childcare of any kind?

That does sound like a significant delay. As pp said you’ll need to push for every assessment you can, ask about speech and language therapy. With resources so poor atm parents have to push and push for everything.
Carry on giving him enriching experiences, soft play, playing alongside other children if he’s not interested in interacting, climbing, petting farms/zoos, feeding ducks, everything you can think of that’ll keep him stimulated and learning. You’ll quickly learn what attracts him, what overwhelms him and so on.

And the reins— I did this, one of the wrist band type that I held but also put one on my own wrist and encouraged dc to hold mine so ‘ I don’t get lost’ . What had been a battle evaporated.

Definitely follow up the hearing assessment - they don't usually have as lon a wait as the SaLTs do.
Then find out what groups there might be in your area - here, the Children's Centres would be the best place to go for advice, and there are often short term projects working alongside the SaLTs,

Also have a look at the iCan website for Sp&Lang advice and even make an appt with a SaLT,

Is he going to have a formal autism assessment? You can't get an ADHD diagnosis before age 6 but it sounds like there's enough going on there to assess for autism now.

@NuffSaidSam He's currently at nursery 2.5 Days a week. He has the extra funding now so that they can do more one on one activities there. I'm chasing up the Hearing Test and speech and language but also looking into local Theapists myself.

The impairment in his receptive language is concerning. Many children are a bit slower than average to speak but still have good understanding of what's being said to them, especially simple phrases like "where's your shoes?" My DS also had poor receptive language and was diagnosed with HFA and Language Processing Disorder. Was the doctor who saw him and mentioned the autistic traits a developmental paediatrician? I would definitely be pressing for a definite autism assessment, as it will take time to get to the front of the queue and if it's not that, it's good to rule it out. At his age he would be applicable for Portage (if that's still a thing) so maybe enquire about that too if it still exists.

At his age he would be applicable for Portage (if that's still a thing) so maybe enquire about that too if it still exists.

I presume every LA makes their own decisions about this, but in my LA, you can't get support from Portage / Home Visiting Team if you attend a Nursery as support will be offered through the Nursery SENCo - and it sounds like he is already under their care, to have been awarded funding.

I think getting any hearing impairment ruled out is really really important asap.

@TheNoodlesIncident i may have made the receptive language sound slightly worse than it is.. he does automatically hold my hand if I ask (or avoid doing so). I asked him if he wanted a drink while out walking the other day and he automatically walked around the other side of me to grab his water bottle from my bag. If I hand him something and say put this in bin for me, he'll go all the way to the other end of our house to put it in the bin. If I say come here, he'll shake his head as he never wants to. He'll hold his hand up if I say high five etc and give me a kiss if I ask (when he's in the mood). I was trying to say he doesnt really know what many objects are called so couldn't point them out if asked. The doctor was a developmental paediatrician but I'm frustrated I didnt quiz her more on my concerns and what was said whilst there.. I was a bit stressed with the whole situation at the time so wasn't fully on the ball.

That's understandable, it's very stressful and so much goes out of your head that you might have meant to mention. I actually wrote a list of things that concerned me and just handed it to the developmental paediatrician because I knew I wouldn't remember them at the time.

It's great that he does have good understanding of language then, and to be fair it doesn't sound like his hearing is impacted either. I'd still push for all the tests though, of course you'll want a clearer picture of what's going on. The rest of your description of how he presents is very very similar to my DS (except mine did make eye contact with me, but didn't with anyone else, which I didn't notice).

@TheNoodlesIncident how is your DS doing now?

Hi @GIH He is OK thanks. He progressed a lot in infants, caught up with speech and language by age five (at least they signed him off then). The development I was most concerned about was the social communication difficulties and a lot of the intervention and support in school was around that. He went from a child who didn't seem to notice other children existed to one who interacted with them, had friends, went to parties and playdates - so I was pleased about that.

He had a 1:1 throughout school (in classroom hours) to help him with the work (he'd just stop working if he thought he wasn't managing) and that helped a lot, especially as he liked his TAs and developed nice relationships with them. He's remained rather more distant than I would have liked with relatives though, I'd be happier if he was demonstrably more warm and loving with them but he's always been pleasant and polite to them, I suppose that will have to do.

Your DS will develop his own pathway, it's difficult when you can see their struggles with things that come naturally to other kids. The more support and intervention in school he can get, especially in the infant years when the brain is developing rapidly, the better it will be for him. Mine was presenting at the 16-22 months stage at three, but he caught up a lot in EYFS. I don't feel guilty about putting him in school at three (Aug birthday) because they were able to do so much more targeted intervention than I could at home.

@GIH hello, some update?