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Original poster

DD - alternative Halloween ideas

25 replies

SpectacuBore · 07/10/2024 09:07

There is a coveted Halloween party at dd's school and she hasn't been invited. She's in year 7 and loves Halloween but has no one to meet up with this year as her friends from primary are all going to this party and new friends form secondary too. To make it worse, the party is at a neighbour's house and they will go trick-or-treating together. It's a friendly neighbourhood and every year all the houses have pumpkins out and children and young teens go around together, it's all very communal. Only this year, dd is not part of it. What can we do with DD that doesn't rub this party and being excluded in her face? Her friends are likely going to knock on our door for sweets. What would you do?

OP posts:

WonderingWanda · 07/10/2024 09:09

That's really hard, is there anyone your dd gets on with who isn't going? You could invite them over for a Halloweeen tea and some trick or treating together. And maybe even a film and sleepover after (I think it's in half term this year isn't it?).

Original poster

SpectacuBore · 07/10/2024 09:54

Thank you WonderingWanda it is hard for dd. There are no other friends she feels she knows well enough. I am considering not putting a pumpkin out so that no one calls for trick-or-treat. Is going out for dinner or cinema a good alternative option? The problem is she don'ts want to do anything with her parents as that's of course embarrassing. She will feel really sad if we completely ignore halloween. Any ideas how to make it nice or fun without friends?

OP posts:

AnchorWHAT · 07/10/2024 10:12

Don't put out the pumpkin, could you stay home and not answer the door.
Play some halloween games, ( apple bobbing, flour on a plate with a sweetie on top and knife to cut bits away until whoever cuts when the sweet falls has to put hands behind back and face in to get sweet out )
watch a film together with a stash of goodies, dress up?
do you know why she was not invited? Could it be in error? Is there anyone you can ask, seems very unfair.

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Original poster

SpectacuBore · 07/10/2024 10:37

There was no actual mean reason as such for dd not to be invited. She had a group of about 4 close friends at primary. These girls have made friends with some new girls in year 7, they all go to the same high school round the corner. Dd is not included in this newly formed group and hasn't yet made new friends. She feels her old friends have ditched her although they are not actually unkind, they just don't want to hang out with dd and the other girls. Dd is socially a bit quiet and that doesn't seem to be cool in front of the new girls. I know friendship groups change, it's to be expected, it's just hard that dd has not yet found a new group. What is sad is that dd adores halloween and knows she'll soon be too old to go out for trick-or-treating. She doesn't want to go with me as she'd find that too embarrassing.

I agree, we probably won't put the pumpkin out to avoid a situation where the girls from school all come here for trick-or-treating. It's sad though

Is it a stupid idea to take her for dinner, where would be good on Halloween? What can I do so she doesn't feel like she is the one without friends?

OP posts:

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/10/2024 11:07

That is difficult. The other girls are mean to not invite her.

Do you have any extended family or cousins you could get together with? Work colleagues' children? If there's a handful of people you could host a small party.

Any chance of volunteering with her at a party for little kids or some such? Church, nursery, guides, village hall?

Take her for a mani/pedi (cool Halloween themed nails) and dinner out, plus drive around & look at OTT Halloween decor, then home for popcorn and Hocus Pocus?

(The Poirot of Halloween Party is good too; child friendly)

WonderingWanda · 07/10/2024 11:26

What about a family movie night at home with a slightly scary film? Or a marathon of Halloween themed films she loves.

Jellybeanbag · 07/10/2024 16:07

I would be having my own party!

Does she have a few friends she can invite over? I'm sure some parents would love their kids to be invited to a Halloween party!

Put decorations up, some food and spooky drinks, make sure you put that pumpkin out and let her make the best of a bad situation.

vanillasky1999 · 07/10/2024 18:04

I would be out if the house - cinema/dinner - anything really until it's lateish.

comedycentral · 07/10/2024 18:13

I'd go out to the cinema, take her and a friend or cousin to watch the new Beetlejuice, or go out for tea. There will also be Halloween trails and events.

APurpleSquirrel · 07/10/2024 18:25

Do you have any local attractions like a theme park that are doing Halloween themed activities?

Lovelysummerdays · 07/10/2024 18:27

I’m in a similar situation so I’ve got tickets to the enchanted forest (light show in the woods) so have a good we are busy anyway excuse.

ahemfem · 07/10/2024 18:28

SpectacuBore · 07/10/2024 09:54

Yes I'd do this. I'd not put out a pumpkin and take her out somewhere maybe the cinema to see something spooky?

therewasafishinthepercolator · 07/10/2024 18:38

Another vote for getting out of the house. Cinema and letting her choose where to eat.

This can be a difficult age with friendship groups changing. Our DD went through it too. But it does get better.

Hope you both have a lovely time whatever you end up doing.

user2848502016 · 07/10/2024 18:53

Ah poor thing that sounds really hard, and mean of them not to invite her to the party.
Are there any other friends she could go trick or treating with? In a different area maybe so she doesn't have to see the party?
Or otherwise I think I would just take her out, find some kind of Halloween activity nearby or go to the cinema - they often have special Halloween showings

InfoSecInTheCity · 07/10/2024 18:59

APurpleSquirrel · 07/10/2024 18:25

Do you have any local attractions like a theme park that are doing Halloween themed activities?

This, look for ghost tours and theme parks/tourist attractions, Alton towers do the haunted mansion, lots of castles do haunted tours that err on the more teen/grown up side rather than the kid friendly pumpkin picking events. Escape rooms will likely be Halloween themed too.

Comedycook · 07/10/2024 19:02

Does she have any cousin's or kids in the family who she could go trick or treating with? Any Halloween parties in community centres near you?

Doingthework · 07/10/2024 19:05

Depends where you live as mentioned a theme park isn’t a bad shout can be expensive but sounds like she might appreciate it . Also maybe a scare farm if you have one local I’d say you could get away with being a cool parent and daughter combo at one.

I love Halloween too and when in covid we didn’t have a party we went on a spooky walk with candles around the woods with all the kids inc teens and it was ace.

one last idea is to properly style it out. Make your house the best in the street and give out the best stuff. I borrowed a candy floss machine and gave all the kids candy floss instead of sweets also done hot dogs and chip barms. All the teens were well impressed could raise her cool profile

hope she has a great night whatever you do 🎃

yeesh · 07/10/2024 19:24

I would go out for dinner & then cinema to watch beatlejuice

nicknamehelp · 07/10/2024 19:27

I would go out with her ask her where she fancies/a film she wants to see. Try not to make a big deal of not going to party/it being Halloween .
Definitely no pumpkin out.

bergamotorange · 07/10/2024 19:29

I'd take her out somewhere nice, the cinema and tea would be nice.

ohxmastreeohxmastree · 07/10/2024 19:36

Agree with a Halloween type event if you have anything near you. They have them at theme parks, Instagrammers and Youtubers etc go to them and they seem to be considered very cool to attend so she can brag about it the first day back at school!

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 07/10/2024 19:40

Is it half term? I'd take her to the nearest Merlin theme park. Thorpe park fright night is excellent.

Dress up and go watch the shows and go on the rides. Stay til the very end when it's pitch black and spooky.

Winter2020 · 07/10/2024 19:45

Does your daughter have any relatives like cousins or grandparents that could invite her over for Halloween. Make a spooky tea, dress up, maybe trick or treat in their street.

ColdinSeptember · 07/10/2024 19:46

I would look for events to go to. DD and are going to York for the day for some ghost themed activities.
I know there are a few parks near me that do ghostly walks and things too.

Pre children DH and I always did dinner and movie on the night and it was always quiet.

Bugbeau · 07/10/2024 20:06

I agree this is a really hard age for friendships changing. I have a 12 yr old and he loves Halloween but has gone to a different secondary to his local friends and I'm was worried he’d be left out of their plans and his new friends live further away and friendships are not really fully established. His sister had been invited to a party so he would have been on his own. He actually made his own plans, which is to go to a friend from primary who he plays
football with house, play fortnight scares (??) go trick or treating, then come back and play more Fortnite whilst eating all their sweets. Could you invite a friend (maybe from a club or who went to a different school) to come over and do something like that? If not there are gardens/castles near me doing spooky Halloween events. Could you go to one of those? Or take younger cousins out near their house?

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