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TW: Sex offending. Studies / research into why people offend

1 reply

TheThrowawayName · 07/10/2024 07:13

A person close to a family member has been found guilty of serious offences by way of downloading and sharing awful abuse of children. He has historically spent time with my children. I’m feeling pretty shaken and my head is a bit all over.

DH and are united that neither we, or the kids, will be around him again. However, the family member in the relationship with him is still going to see him and carry on.

I am the sort of person who finds knowledge comforting. The more I know about a topic the more I feel I have a handle on things. I wondered if anyone can guide me to locations of accessible studies and research into the reasons for offending and reasons people would stay with someone.

It may sound daft, but I need something tangible to hold onto that has looked at these things without any emotional piece either demonising or minismising. I’m doing enough of the former at the moment, and my relative too much of the latter.

im feeling all sorts of things that are a bit of a shock response I think (guilt, anxiety, that I’m stupid for not seeing). And despite having worked in and around the legal field that touched on this stuff many years ago, when it happens to you yourself it’s very different and I just need a bit of support.

OP posts:
princesspeppax · 07/10/2024 17:22

We had a similar situation a couple of years ago, family member was subsequently added to the register for 5 years with community service. The crime that he committed was not a child but as soon as we were made aware of it we ceased all contact, his wife (close family member) who was not sure what she was going to do at the time was told in no uncertain terms if she was to remain with him we would also be fully NC with her.

Its upsetting and incredibly difficult to comprehend how someone you know and trust can be capable of such things, his 5 years on the register is due to be over soon so i'm not sure if that means all his restrictions are lifted but either way, we will never regain contact or be family again

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