Teens left the back door wide open all night!

[TheDoorsOpen]

Came down at 8am to find the dog was in the living room with the light on and door not shut, she's always locked in the room.

Thought it was unusually cold downstairs and go to the kitchen to find the back door wide open!

Ran upstairs to check my younger 2 were in bed, they're high-school age but still panicked.

DH had locked up at about 10pm, took dog out, put her to bed.

The teens (17 and 19) are up and down all night and I suspect let the dog out again.

I'm absolutely livid. We live in a densely populated terraced street. We could easily have been robbed or bloody murdered in our beds (a little dramatic, I know)

How the fuck do you just wander off to bed in the middle of the night without shutting the door??

I'm seriously pissed off at them and both are denying it was them.

I have chronic anxiety/OCD and I can just see this is going to be my new thing to lay in bed worrying about now.

Yes it's irresponsible and annoying but your anxiety and OCD is not their problem and you mustn't let it affect your response. Give them a reasonable amount of a hard time about it and then let it go. Mine has done it during the day when he's been the last out and left the door ajar all day. It's infuriating but fairly typical thoughtless behaviour.

What’s done is done, hopefully they will never do it again if they can see how pissed off you are (and actually this is one case where I wouldn’t be holding back). Funnily enough one of the most useful ways my Ds’ OCD manifests is having to check all doors and make sure the oven/gas is off before he goes to bed 😂

I haven't mentioned that to them at all 🙄 They don't even know about my diagnoses.

My issue is that they put us all in danger of being robbed or worse with carelessness.

They're not small children.

If I can't trust them to do a simple thing like close thw door I'm going to have to tell them not to go downstairs at night.

They've done it before but with the kitchen window, letting the cat in.

Right but if you overreact because of your anxiety and/or OCD you'd be making it their problem. Of course it's stupid of them but if they apologise and grasp the seriousness then move on.

Could your DH have left it open if he let the dog out?
It is possible if both DCs are denying it that someone else is responsible.
Surely your dog would alert you of intruders?

I'd be bloody annoyed too. My husband sometimes forgets to lock the door when he comes in (he comes home from work late) even though we've done it for years. Always an excuse or it couldn't have been him. Bloody pathetic.

I reacted reacting appropriately to the situation. My OCD doesn't affect my ability to think or control my emotions, it kicks in at night when I can't sleep. It had no bearing on my reaction but I know that some nights when I'm having an episode I will be thinking about it. But it didn't have any corelation to my reaction.

One thing about MN I really hate is as soon as tou mwntion you have a MH issue people treat you like you're completely incapable of being normal in anyway and everything must be deeply tied into that issue.

People with OCD aren't raving lunatics

I used to have a big dog flap . In my old house never used to block it at night. My German shepherd used to like to chill in the garden late at night /early hours. Probably why I ended up with a big rat in my kitchen. I'm often forgetting to lock my back door now . Come back from school run . Dog had opened the back door. And it's cold .

Sorry that was of no help what so ever .

No, I heard him lock up at 10pm, we have a big old door with a very loud clicky lock. I also heard him say good night to the dog and shut the living room door, I'm 1000% sure it wasn't him

Have a moan then leave it. You didn't die, it was a mistake. Move on

People won’t wander in and murder you just because you left a door open.

We've had our shed broken into twice this year and cone down to find out back gate broken open twice too.

It's a bad area.

People would 100% walk in if the door was left open

It's a high crime area.

The reality is that everyone is grand, the house is grand. So I would have a chat with them, but keep it proportionate.

Do you have techniques to calm your anxiety? Have you tried cbt?

If I didn't mention I had OCD/anxiety I'm sure this thread would be very different.

If you didn't have OCD and anxiety I don't think you'd have thought it was worth a thread in the first place.

I live in an absolutely shit, crime ridden part of London OP and yet I accidentally did the same thing one night last year.

It was a massive 'Pheww that was lucky' moment and just made me more careful.

I agree with PPs that your chronic anxiety/OCD shouldn't affect how you tell your DC to be more careful.

They might not realise that they were the last one up and therefore responsible - hence their joint denials.

Regardless I assume you've given them both a talking to, explained the risks and made it clear how unhappy you are about it.

Beyond that there isn't much you can do. I certainly don't agree with banning them from coming downstairs.

Nothing bad happened. Just have a stern chat with teens to make sure they understand it can't happen again. Then move on.

I left my front door wide open all day by mistake once (also on a densely populated terraced street and no burglary - they must've thought nobody would be so densely populated...) so I actually have some sympathy for your kids. However of course you are right to be livid! I think they will be apologetic once you tell them won't they?

Of course it would.

That's like saying 'If I didn't have a back door or a dog' this thread would be very different 😳

If you didn't have MH issues, I'm sure you would've put it down to a 'That was lucky' moment, told your DC to be far more careful and then just got on with your day.

But you mentioned your MH issues because they're relevant.

You don't need to have anxiety or OCD to be absolutely livid with teenagers leaving the back door wide open all night.

@GuestFeatu didn't say that though, did they?

This would infuriate me along with leaving lights on, front door unlocked etc. A friend was burgled because they didn't lock front door and the burglar walked straight in. Another friend found a would be thief in their hallway from same mistake. We are in a very low crime area but opportunists are always there.

I always check the door last thing at night

You are overreacting. Yes, they should have closed the door, but you’re in a terraced street! That’s a big advantage as it means no one can easily come round to the back door. I’m in terraced housing too and I wouldn’t fret about this, because it’s relatively safe and secure.

They didn’t walk in.
And they wouldn’t murder you.