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How to stop trying so hard with others

1 reply

halion · 05/10/2024 17:23

As the title above says - I feel like i try to treat others how I would like to be treated. I feel guilty or bad if I don't try and please others, I'll always try my best to be pleasant and make the effort conversations with others. I feel bad if I don't make an effort. Lately I feel like it's just all exhausted me, people are so flat & I wonder to myself why the hell do I bother making an effort. I've stepped back recently & no surprise that I get zero effort from people. I feel let down, and annoyed at myself that I'm expecting back what I give out. I sense that alot of this has stemmed from child hood where I craved my mum & dad's approval alot. My grandparents had no interest in me, choosing cousins over me to have stay over or invited for tea etc. I had friendships throughout childhood but felt at times I got dropped the moment they found someone else. I still feel like that now, as though im just a friends afterthought when they've noone else.

Having a down day I suppose, just wanted some advice really on how to overcome this 😔

OP posts:
NewName24 · 06/10/2024 00:42

I'm not sure why all your social interactions are such hard work ?

I think most of us feel like i try to treat others how I would like to be treated. I feel guilty or bad if I don't try and please others, I'll always try my best to be pleasant and make the effort conversations with others. but overwhelmingly, the response of People I am nice to, is to be nice back. Which means it is a pleasant social interaction - even a laugh or a really nice time - and not draining or hard work at all.

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