The casual things that wealthy people take for granted

[KaleQueen]

Inspired by a thread that’s gone totally off topic….where someone suggested a £400 watch was cheap.

What’s the most casual (even accidental) brag you’ve ever heard a wealthy person say?

I can start as I know someone who celebrated a big birthday recently and is an absolutely lovely person but during their party (in the wonderful house) they said “oh! Here comes the string quartet. I had completely forgotten about them!”

^www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5174898-to-feel-slightly-suspicious-of-dp?page=35&reply=138771616^

I am not wishing to be goady and very seldom quote people in discussions but I just want to comment on this .
This is not my experience and it is being very generalistic . I understand there will be some people who do this and it is obviously not great as it creates feelings of envy in those that don't have that much money to spend . They may also be getting into debt to support their lifestyle too . There is also the crassness in it as we have heard comments throughout that a lot of people who have been born into a wealthy or privileged background are the opposite and they don't display their wealth at all .They don't have a "need " to do this as they have never known what it is like to scrimp and scrape .

I think you are missing the point when generalising and grouping everyone together . Yes there will be some who do this . There will be some who have a massive chip on their shoulder and like it or not , how we grew up does impact on how we act as grown ups . Some will be focussed on this and others will not .

I see some of the people who flaunt their wealth and have a chip on their shoulder as being due to insecurity and they have a need to do this . They have been deeply impacted by how they were brought up and the relentlessness and bleakness of poverty . Again not all people can be put into a sole category as you have stated .

When "Shameless " the programme came out I couldn't watch it , it wasn't my experience of growing up poor and being a " chancer " either . Yes there will be people who are able to work the system to their advantage . I couldn't watch it past a few episodes , although I tried as there were great actors , scripts etc . It was too close to the bone for me . I do get that the comedy element did probably reach a wider audience than some of the more bleak / gritty dramas which are at times too depressing for lots of people to watch .

Having known poverty, rather than having a chip on my shoulder I am acutely aware of inequality and will do what I can in my limited way to address this and make other people aware .it is probably one of the things in life that I feel strongest about .

Again I wholeheartedly agree with those that have made the comments about people who get on in life as they have worked " hard ". The implications being that if you are in a minimum wage job that you don't work 'hard ". This is totally not true and those who are in a household with limited income have the added worry and stress of just getting by and worrying about losing their job / unexpected bills . Their jobs can also be very physically demanding and they are unable to continue working past a certain age due to health conditions meaning they enter retirement in poverty too .

You mentioned you’re a recovering addict- and well done for turning things around. But you’re showing your privilege if you think that it was no easier for you than someone poor.

If you are already in a well paid profession, I’m guessing you had the resources to sort out good rehab, and therapy.

you’d also have the resources to cover it up. I have friends and colleagues who have definitely been what I’d consider an addict, but have had jobs where they’ve been able to take extended leave to sort themselves out. If you’re in a minimum wage job you can be sacked for being a bit late a few times.

Your post is a great example of how privilege means that when you hit tough times in life, you have the resources to sort yourself out.

Your experience should make you reflect how lucky you are

@TheCountessofFitzdotterel I would have said the same a few years ago. However I got to know someone who collects watches. He put it like this. "Many people spend 15k on cars, after 5 years you would be lucky to get 6k for that car and after 10 years maybe 1500, however spent 15k on the right watch and it will be worth much more after 5-10 years". They can be a very smart investment

@imfae
I think you've got too much time on your hands.

For something that shows time, anything more that £20 is expensive, especially these days that you can check time on mobile phones - watches are extra because you don't need them.

A friend of a friend is a cocaine addict. She comes from an extremely wealthy family, who paid for an expensive rehab facility. She came out and immediately relapsed. Since then, she's lost her own husband and child, and most recently crashed her car on drugs and was arrested. She'll most likely lose her license now. I do think it's unfair to claim it's easier for an addict to recover because they're privileged. An addiction is the same for everybody.

Yes

You mentioned you’re a recovering addict- and well done for turning things around. But you’re showing your privilege if you think that it was no easier for you than someone poor.

Thank you :) By the time I hit rock bottom (suffered a mini-stroke, followed by a heart attack - not the best month of my life!) I was skint - I'd quit my job about a year before - Was previously a functional addict but work was getting in the way of my drug taking 😅

Didn't want family to know, so I was living like I was still working (plus cocaine is an expensive hobby), so I burned through my savings pretty quickly. Also, as I'd quit my job my unemployment insurance wouldn't pay out, and as I left my flat voluntarily I'd 'made myself homeless', so wasn't eligible for any govt support.

By the time I came out of hospital, I was pretty much broke.

If you are already in a well paid profession, I’m guessing you had the resources to sort out good rehab, and therapy.

I wanted out of hospital as quickly as possible, but wasn't in a position to look after myself. Ended up staying in a family member's back room for a short time while I recovered.

I didn't have money for private rehab, went to a free drop-in center and pretty much walked straight out. Wasn't for me. I got and stayed clean myself and am currently approaching nine years 🥳

Signed up for CBT on Dr's insistence via the NHS, by the time I actually got to speak to someone about 9 months later, it was 30 mins a week over Zoom...just not worth it.

you’d also have the resources to cover it up. I have friends and colleagues who have definitely been what I’d consider an addict, but have had jobs where they’ve been able to take extended leave to sort themselves out. If you’re in a minimum wage job you can be sacked for being a bit late a few times.

As above, sort of the opposite. When I should have been asking for help, I quit work to do more drugs 😬😅

To be fair, in the job I was in, admitting a drug problem would have likely been grounds for instant dismissal.

Your post is a great example of how privilege means that when you hit tough times in life, you have the resources to sort yourself out.

Your experience should make you reflect how lucky you are.

I guess this is what wound me up last night - I had no privilege/resources when it came to sorting myself out.

I don't feel lucky, I feel proud that I have been able to drag myself out of the shit and rebuild my life. I could have gone on the sick, moved back in with family, sat feeling sorry for myself etc but I didn't. I refused to let life beat me down. I worked while I should have been recovering, grinded and grinded, took crazy risks and turned my life around.

I turned my side hustle into a career. I'm not 'rich' by any means, but I'm very comfortable. We live in a small apartment, I don't buy 'stuff' or go on daft holidays. I certainly don't brag, or throw my lifestyle in people's faces.

But you know what? Being able to buy a Rolex a few years ago was the biggest 'fuck you' to the life I left behind. I don't even wear the bloody thing unless it's a special occasion for fear if it getting nicked 😭 And if I feel differently in ten years, I can sell it and make a profit 🤷🏻‍♂️

But apparently they "saw me coming" in the shop, according to some people on this thread. I'm delusional, entitled and don't understand how hard life can be.

I'd say that I understand how hard life can be more than most. But this is Mumsnet, right? Make poor life choices and ask for advice, you'll get crucified. Make good life choices, for god's sake don't mention them 🤷🏻‍♂️😅

LMFAO. I've never paid more than 30 and it tells the time just fine. That's a GOOD watch.

The watches in the very expensive category (rolexe etc) function as a way to store wealth, they probably also accrue in value so they are an investment.

@Ramblomatic good for you, glad things have worked out. And wear your Rolex with pride 😉

What a weird thing to 'LMFAO' at...

You don't understand that people who pay hundreds/thousands for a watch aren't doing so to tell the time, so you 'laugh your fucking ass off' about it?

Stay broke, as the kids say 🤷🏻‍♂️

Don't get me wrong I like the material things that can me with money, always turning left on the plane, nice bags, an expensive ring but it's the other benefits that are important

I was able to give up work for 8 years to raise my son , my mother has Parkinson's and whilst all the money in the world went take that away , I have been able to make things so much better for her .

Money gives you choice

This is absolutely correct. Depending on the model, some go up in value instantly on the secondary market because of their scarcity.

If you keep a Rolex in good condition, with its original box and papers (warranty card, service history etc) then (depending on model, trends etc) you'll get your money back or make a tidy profit on the secondary market.

in the past month I've bought a multipack of pants, and a T shirt from Asda. the t shirt was very much a treat. I'm not short of t shirts, but it was a lost boys one.
I definitely don't buy clothes every month, and that includes from charity shops.

@CrowleyKitten some people subscribe to the Sam Vimes theory of boots.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory

I think that other people knowing how much they cost was a big reason behind why those awful, tacky clown necklaces from Argos were so popular at one point. because other people would have seen them in the catalogue and knew they were expensive.
didn't make them any less tacky. if anything, made them more tacky, because it felt like they just wanted people to know they could afford them.

I view watches like Rolex etc in the same way as expensive designer bags - you need to dress up to wear them, otherwise they look like fakes. And if they didn't look like fakes- they'd be a target for a mugging.
So I'd rather have the £400 watch to wear and enjoy and not worry about looking cheap or getting mugged.

And of course if you are clothing a DH and several DC out of a limited income you may be buying things other than for yourself. My children seemed to go through shoes, wellies, sneakers etc at a rate of knots.

@10milliondollars you really think that's the only two alternatives, look cheap or get mugged?

What a narrow view of the world

I just had a quick look at Rolex website. I find them ugly. Not sure what the lure is. Although I have now learned that they can be an investment. But even so, I just wouldn’t.

Completely agree. I have relatively few material things. I love music, so I got some Bang & Olufsen headphones. We watch a lot of movies so we have a nice TV. We collect trainers, and have a few nice watches between us. That's pretty much it for 'stuff'. I never turn left on the plane unless work are paying 😂

For me it's things like access to private healthcare if we need it, not having to worry about bills/food etc, not having to budget for family treats/unexpected bills.

These were all things that caused me massive stress when they weren't a reality for me, I'm proud that my hard work has changed that.

You should be proud of achievements

Apart from my friends rose gold one smothered in diamonds which makes it more feminine I've never seen the attraction either.

I see a watch as I would a bracelet, so not interested in metal chunky ones

Narrow view of the world - no, narrow view of luxury labelled goods - yes - I'm sure you can see the difference.