Hi everyone,
I'm currently feeling really frustrated and confused about my relationship (me 33, him 39), and I could use some advice. For context, I’m 6 months pregnant with our first child, which could be influencing my emotions, but I also feel like my concerns are valid, so I’d love some perspective.
A bit of background: My partner and I have had issues before with how we communicate and handle conflicts. A couple of weeks ago, we had a big argument where he got really angry while driving. He hit the steering wheel aggressively, pulled the hand brake hard and got out of the car after we had disagreed with the plan for the day. I was really upset because I had never seen him act like that before, and being 5 months pregnant at the time made it even worse. After that incident, I made it clear I wouldn’t tolerate aggressive behavior. We had more silly arguments the past weeks, mostly because I just feel he doesnt care about our relationship or how Im feeling while being pregnant. He doesnt read into pregnancy and is basically only focused on his business 95% of the time. I feel taken for granted and maybe also a bit alone in this, while trying for a baby and being in it for 100% was both our intention.
Fast forward to yesterday—we had another fight. He went to his first football training at 8:30 pm, which was supposed to last about an hour. I assumed he’d come home after or at least message me, but by 10:15 pm, I still hadn’t heard from him. He had told me his mobile data had run out (but then you could still make regular calls/texts). I tried calling him once but got no answer.
By this point, I was feeling stressed and angry. He’s always on his phone when we’re together (mostly for work), so I don’t understand why he can’t send a simple message when he’s out, especially when I’m pregnant and worried about him driving home late or something happening. I always send him updates when I’m out, just to keep him in the loop, but he doesn’t seem to care.
He came home at 11:30 pm, much later than I expected, and he got irritated when I told him I was upset. He said he didn’t want to feel like messaging me was an “obligation” and that I’m overreacting. He thinks I worry too much, but from my perspective, it feels like he doesn’t care and is taking me for granted.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking it because of the pregnancy hormones, or if this is genuinely a problem in our relationship. I just feel like I’m asking for basic communication and consideration, but he thinks I’m being too controlling or needy.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do I approach this without it turning into another fight? I’m starting to feel really drained and unsure of how to handle things moving forward.
Thanks for any advice.