Potty training

[Cherrysherri]

Where do I even begin?

DS is 2y9m and we’ve had a failed attempt but made progress overall?

so when we tried (3 months ago) he just kept having accidents getting worked up and hating the potty

Now, we do let him have his nappy off. When he’s about to do a wee or poo he wants a nappy on and asks us repeatedly until we do put one on. Refuses potty or toilet and goes in the nappy. Does tell me sometimes when he’s pooed, but doesn’t like nappy changes I have to try for ages half the time

any tips he’s a bit stubborn I’m just so worried I feel like he’s so behind being in nappies still but he’s so stubborn and like I say when nappy free he won’t go he just insists on a nappy to do wee/poo

i mean I know it’s good he can hold it then and knows to go in something it just needs to be a loo

please help???

Sounds to me like your doing a great job. It was a long time ago for me my children are all grown up. But I remember my eldest not wanting to have a poo without a nappy it must have been strange for him not to feel it against his bottom. Lots of perseverance, patience as you are already doing. I would dress him in the morning with underpants and the nappies only came out if he was upset about having a poo. I did use washable pull on pants whilst training too.

I say potty training I mean potty/toilet as he may just go to a toilet now he’s older?

he also does ‘role play’ sits on his potty and says wee wee poo poo

We've taken the approach of least stress in our house, if they've not wanted to do it we haven't forced it/persisted, both ours went completely dry at just over 3 with pretty much no accidents. I know there's lots of judgement on later 'training' but I just don't see the point in making more work and stress for everyone.

Bit of hope here thank you!

yes I get so much guilt because all I see is they should be trained between the 1.5 and 2.5 and there is no such thing as ‘being ready’ and speech doesn’t matter

our son has a slight speech delay. Can speak better now (like I say can tell me about poo’s) but between 1.5 and 2.5 he couldn’t tell me? So how would that work! He couldn’t even say yes until 2y 3/4 months :( so if I asked him if he needed a wee he wouldn’t be able to have told me?

Is there any method. You tried ?? X

also if he wear just undies (we’ve had these on him for a while as his body’s been too long for bodysuit vests!)

he will have accidents in them? Its only when he’s bare from waist down like he will ask for nappy then

We waited until they could communicate better too, the people I know that have potty trained earlier have done it by constantly just putting their children on a potty, sometimes every 10-15 minutes and some like that for weeks, I personally can't be doing that.

We have just asked them, our youngest started asking for pants not a nappy so we said that's fine but he has to wee/poo in the potty so he did. Eldest needed a bit of encouragement to try pants but once he did he was fine and would just need a reminder to use the toilet every hour or so to start with (he wouldn't always go, he'd just ask him if he wanted to try).

I don't understand the pressure to train earlier and then be dealing with extra washing, wet car seats, having to do toilet dashes because they're too little to hold it for long, carrying bloody portable potty's everywhere and inflicting that on everyone around you in random places (seen people in shops and restaurants use them).

My DD was fine with wee's but it did take a bit longer for poo's she was the same asking for nappies on for a poo. Something that I don't know if it worked or was just a coincidence is I put a nappy in the potty and she sat on that for a poo, meant to her she 'had a nappy on' but was still getting her use to the potty x

Sounds like he's calling the shots to be honest. Stop all the nappies coming on then off. If he asks for nappy say no, we do it in potty now. Stick to it and be consistent.

If you're waiting for a time when he chooses to do it and there are no accidents and no stress, you could be waiting a long time. Sometimes gaining a new skill requires perseverance. Personally I'd say no nappies in the day and stick to it.

Oh he does call the shots he’s very stubborn haha and he will kick off instantly (I mean like most toddlers) when he doesn’t want to do something

its just hard as DH works away gets back late Friday so has a day and a bit (travels after bedtime Sunday) before he has to go so it’ll mainly be me alone doing itt

andwe Have a younger child too she’s 7months old

I didn't mean to sound harsh, just realistic. Yes it's hard work and messy. It's easier not to. If you leave it for your child to decide they entirely want to potty train, you might be waiting a long time. Your choice. There isn't a magic wand.

We did oh crap method where you stay in until you've cracked it, we stayed in a lot for a few weeks and it was boring and there was a lot of mopping!

When nappies were either washable or really expensive (early disposables were like £1 each or something, they've come down a lot) there was way more incentive to potty train earlier. I think it's got later as nappies get cheaper.

As I say, your choice! It is easier in summer tbh, with washing and being able to go in garden if you have one!

No it’s not it’s true I’m always wanting minimal kick off as I’m on my own a lot and with 2 of them so it’s lazy of me reallt

we are going on a day out Saturday and staying over would it be best to try next week?

I heard don’t do it if you’re going away somewhere soon after like try to be home for a while???

Sorry @Haroldwilson that is advice is a bit outdated and can lead to children withholding and becoming constipated. Have a look on the Eric website for more information.

We have a very strong willed child here and I can guarantee the more you try to force him to do something he doesn't want to do the more he will dig his heels in. Is forcing a child to withhold going to the toilet to the point they make themselves ill or become distressed really the hill you want to die on?

This is why I’m conflicted :( I know DS is very stubborn and. Now knows how to hold until he has a nappy so in a sense good he is getting bladder control

but he’s so distressed when we try the potty or toilet I think these 2 factors mean in a month or two he’ll be ready?

But so many things I see and the oh crap method is they’re all ready just train them

but it’s so hard I don’t know how he is so adamsnt

Have you had a look on the Eric website? As far as I'm aware it is the advice health visitors and GP's will refer you do as well. They have a helpline if you want to chat to someone with more knowledge and experience for some guidance (it's only limited hours though).

Like I said, we have been very child lead in our house but do appreciate every child and family is different so whatever you do needs to work for you and your son.

This site seems good but basically says they should be by 30 months which DS is already so won’t they just say I’ve left it too late?

they discuss bladder and bowel issues ? And say he doesn’t ’need To be ready so I’m just so conflicted again