Would you find it strange if you moved to the middle of nowhere, and an acquaintance followed you?

[BoundaryGirl3939]

I am not on the property ladder. I can not afford to live in the city I am from. I housesat for an acquaintance this summer. She lives in a rural town which on a map looks like its in the middle of nowhere on the other side of the country.
It's actually a 30 min drive from a town I'm fond of, and 40 mins from another town I like. I discovered when housesitting, that I actually really like her village.
The houses there are still relatively cheap. I'm afraid she'll think I'm strange if I move to the same small town. I've googled other areas in that county but her village is the most suitable. If you were her, would you think it was strange? I don't want to seem like I'm cramping her style, or following her (which I'm not).

I would also like to add that I really like this person as a person. I dont consider us close but I send her voice notes now and then as we're similar. Even if she wasn't living there, I'd strongly strongly consider moving.

I don't think it'd strange. Why don't you drop her a message and say how much you liked the area when you were house sitting and wouldn't mind moving that way yourself.

We don't work in the same profession.

I'm single and late 30s. I'm a bit anxious at the thought of moving to a new place but lots of people do it, right? I absolutely loved it for the week I was there, and I'm confident I could get work there also.

I’d send a message saying was nice at yours, I like X town and Y town as well. Are there any other villages like yours around the towns?

Thank you. She is from the same city as me but has a parent from that region hence her move to that county. I just really loved it there

I could do that. I know from viewing maps that her village is the best one. And still cheap.
I'm quite introverted, and would not be cramping her style.

I wouldn't find it strange at all. She might be quite pleased to know that you loved her village so much that you're thinking of moving there.

If it helps at all, imagine that your friend posted on here with the reverse.

Her not very close friend came to stay and then decided she'd like to move to the same village. Is this weird?

I imagine everyone would tell her that she doesn't own the village, that as long as you aren't intrusive, why should it bother her?

I would find it odd if you just did it without saying anything.
but not off to contact her and say how much you loved being there and ask her advice - are there downsides you don’t know about for example.
you’ll soon get a sense if she’s encouraging or not.

That's true. And perhaps she might like knowing that someone she can depend on in an emergency is nearby.

I would open up a conversation about it and see what happens. I might also make a point of telling her that you aren't planning to live in her pocket. That would be my primary concern if someone I wasn't close to moved to where I live - I am happy to see them sometimes, but I do not want to be their best friend and local guide.

That's true. She always says that she loves where she lives so I don't think there are many downsides.

I was purposefully viewing places (online) 10/20 drive away just to not appear that I was intruding on her life. But none as suitable as her town.

It's not a tiny town. There are a good few housing estates. But I just don't want to appear intrusive. She discovered the place first.

And I don't particularly care about seeing her either. I actually very much do my own thing. I would actually prefer if she wasn't there!

I think it would appear weird if you don't mention it and then bumped into her! But a casual contact saying how you liked it there and are considering moving, can she recommend other similar villages nearby.... I think that would be fine. I wouldn't tell her not to worry etc as the more you say the more chance it could be perceived as a bit odd. Keep it super casual and factual less overtly friendly iykwim.

@BoundaryGirl3939 "If you were her, would you think it was strange?"

I wouldn't think it was strange at all.

I'm curious how you can tell it's the best village from looking at maps?

I would think it very strange if you didn't tell me then just appeared in my village!

But let her know, and it should be fine I would imagine.

Bright and breezy and honest and factual:

“Hi acquaintance; just wanted to let you know that I am viewing some properties in your village with a view to getting on property ladder.

Just wanted to give you a heads up so you don’t think I am stalking you or anything (said in jokey way) and to reassure you that I will not be intruding on your space - I just liked the area very much when I stayed at yours and several properties in the area matched my search criteria »

She obviously likes and trusts you as a person op or she wouldn’t have had you to house sit. Assuming the arrangement went well, I don’t see why this should be a problem?

That's perfect. I need a way to say it like it's not a big deal, because in reality it's not a big deal.

Thanks for tip. I'd never move there without telling her. That would make me look crazy!

I explored the place this summer. The villages north of hers are closer to a very, very large and scenic town. So the prices north of her village are more expensive.

And south of her village is extremely remote except for a village that I have a special connection with (sorry I'm being vague).

The region to the west of her is touristy...so again getting expensive. Her location was just perfect. Within driving distance of everything yet still cheap.

Funny one this. Depends largely on the village.

Is it very small/low population/tight knit, with houses close together and not many people and not many homes? OR is it like mine... 1 X 1.5 miles in size, 450-ish people, 130-140 homes, (in a dozen different roads and closes.) With rows of 2-3 bed cottages, some 3 and 4 bed detached houses, some, 2, 3, and 4 bed semi detached houses, 3 dozen bungalows, some old cottages, some 5 and 6 bedroom houses, and several farms surrounding the village,. Also half a dozen or so hobby groups, a Church, a pub, a parish hall, and a little shop...

If it's the latter, then yeah it can work, as you can (hopefully) live across the other side of the village, mix in different social groups, and not see her much. May be harder if it's the former.

If you move near to her though, and start mixing in the same social groups and start making friends with her friends and neighbours, expect her to be pissed off.

If someone I trusted enough to housesit for me moved close by I wouldn't feel negative about it.

Maybe she also doesn't have anyone close nearby hence why she asked you rather than a neighbour to keep an eye out?

I just checked online and it has a population of 2300...although it felt smaller. Got two churches (Protestant/Catholic), a small square, gym, pubs, takeaways, chemist's, large food store.

I would never muscle in on her life. I have no interest. I'm actually very introverted. I just loved the village 🤣

That's so true!

Where is it I want to move there.

OK, so it's in Ireland. 30 min drive south west of Sligo town. I just flippin love Sligo town. 20 mins north of a famous Catholic apparition site (not everyone's cup of tea I know but gives me comfort all the same). Good roads and the area so underrated. Lots of Celtic sites also such as hillfort and hikes. Not far from sea either.