I don't even know why I'm posting, just a vent to get it off my chest maybe. It would take forever and probably outing to explain why I am so fed up, but it's basically shit health impacting every single area of my fucking life (and my DH's too). Fucking PIP and Universal Credit and other paperwork stuff has just finished me off today. On top of constantly feeling shit and physical/mental difficulties, constant injuries and hospital trips with the knowledge of looming brain surgery (not a tumour, different reason) and just the fucking uncertainty day after fucking day after fucking day.
There is so much stuff that's out of my hands but I (and DH) just have to live with it. I'm having counselling which is helpful, but they can't change the basic facts, and I can't really change the way I look at the facts as it's just a big shit show. There's no positives. Even the thought of possible surgery maybe addressing some of the problems isn't something I can feel "hope" towards today. It throws up more huge potential problems to overcome afterwards, and the assessment period is so hard to navigate.
I usually do try and stay positive and a day at a time, but this day isn't a good day, in fact it's been a fucking awful day. And I can't do anything about it.
If anyone else would like to vent about anything, please feel free. Sympathy and empathy to anyone else struggling atm.