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Neighbour making a point?

23 replies

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 18:33

So, I live in a close within a close of 8 homes. 🏠
When we moved in, the neighbours were all very welcoming and I usually chat with the ones that are most chatty regularly. The close had this tradition already established of whoever is around pulling everyone’s emptied bins back to each home by garden gates and so on.

I have slotted right in and been doing my fair share for years.

Until about a month ago. I was away on a couple of international trips, so gone for around two weeks with less than a week home in between. Between the two trips I had a mammogram. Then after second trip, I was recalled for scans, then biopsies, then called in and told diagnosed with breast cancer and it’s been constant appointments for more scans, bloods, and pre surgery appts,

So all in all, I have not gone out for everyone’s bins for the past 4-5 weeks. Although my bins weren’t out all these weeks due to the trips.

The day after I told my next door neighbour the bad news (Amazon had left a package and I was getting it and we got to chatting), it was chucking down rain and a bin day. I had put mine out the night before but was sick all day with a migraine. Late afternoon, almost sunset, I go down and see one lone bin left at the end of our close in the sheeting rain. I go hum, hope that isn’t mine. And check the window by my garden gate, no bin. So it was mine. Someone had taken everyone else’s bins per our close tradition but deliberately left mine.

So in wellies, PJs and an umbrella I retrieved my bin using the arm that works (still very sore on other side due to biopsies but ok to clamp an umbrella awkwardly) and wondered who in my close was making the point and why they hadn’t said something.

It seemed kind of passive aggressive to me. And given my health, I don’t know if I will be able to rise to whatever bar they have set. It feels like a game of Clue in a way and one I’d rather not play.

Any advice?

My DH works long hours out the house until late so he is never home during the window post bin men and when someone gets the close bins.)

No DC living at home.

Just me, what do I do?

OP posts:
EvelynBeatrice · 03/10/2024 18:36

Ask for help. Or tell nicest neighbour and ask if they’d be kind and tell others. Petty swines some people - but most will be aghast and very very glad to be able to help you in such a simple way.

Dazedandconfusedma · 03/10/2024 18:38

This is great advice.

Im so sorry to hear about your health issues, hope you are ok x

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 18:44

Ah, as I have told nicest neighbour who offered immediately any help if ever I need it, maybe I just need to wait for the word to spread. I do intend to tell others when it seems right in a random usual chat. It’s not like I can go round knocking on doors or putting notes through their letter boxes!

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 03/10/2024 18:49

So one person gets home and goes to get their bin? They can probably pull 2 bins at a time at most. They have to make 4 trips just because they got home first? Or if they are someone like me and can only handle 1 at a time, that is 8 bin trips.

how does this system make any sense?

MrTiddlesTheCat · 03/10/2024 19:05

Sorry I don't understand. What point are they trying to make? With 8 houses they can't have got pissed off at you not bringing in the bins for 5 weeks, what about the others who didn't bring them in?

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 19:10

Ponderingwindow · 03/10/2024 18:49

So one person gets home and goes to get their bin? They can probably pull 2 bins at a time at most. They have to make 4 trips just because they got home first? Or if they are someone like me and can only handle 1 at a time, that is 8 bin trips.

how does this system make any sense?

Everyone either WFH or are retired. So someone goes out within a half hour of the bin men and wheels ALL bins to their correct home.

The system had been in place years and years before we moved in and I didn’t want to be that new family what rocks the boat.

OP posts:
SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 19:12

MrTiddlesTheCat · 03/10/2024 19:05

Sorry I don't understand. What point are they trying to make? With 8 houses they can't have got pissed off at you not bringing in the bins for 5 weeks, what about the others who didn't bring them in?

I thought it might have been noticed I’d been slacking off.

Then why was only my bin left out? You think it is just coincidence. I suppose it could be. It has never happened before though. No one bin has ever been left like that for all the years I have lived here.

OP posts:
Mumistiredzzzz · 03/10/2024 19:13

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 19:10

Everyone either WFH or are retired. So someone goes out within a half hour of the bin men and wheels ALL bins to their correct home.

The system had been in place years and years before we moved in and I didn’t want to be that new family what rocks the boat.

That's bloody bonkers to me. What a hassle.

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 19:14

Mumistiredzzzz · 03/10/2024 19:13

That's bloody bonkers to me. What a hassle.

I just want to stay on good terms with my neighbours. Maybe I am overthinking things. 😅

OP posts:
HangDai · 03/10/2024 19:14

That's bonkers having 1 person haul all bins back.

Maybe since it was bad weather everyone each just dashed out for their own.

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 19:16

HangDai · 03/10/2024 19:14

That's bonkers having 1 person haul all bins back.

Maybe since it was bad weather everyone each just dashed out for their own.

Maybe, although this isn’t the first time bin day has been a very rainy day…

I do feel like someone is keeping score and never felt that way before.

OP posts:
arinya · 03/10/2024 19:18

You are only going to know if you ask.

It’s incredibly petty if it’s intentional. I’m not sure I could live in a road where there are rules to be followed. I’d probably leave my bin out permanently 😆

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 19:21

arinya · 03/10/2024 19:18

You are only going to know if you ask.

It’s incredibly petty if it’s intentional. I’m not sure I could live in a road where there are rules to be followed. I’d probably leave my bin out permanently 😆

Edited

I hope it was not intentional. I never thought I’d start a bin thread, but I suppose I have.

OP posts:
Vettrianofan · 03/10/2024 19:24

Good grief this is no different from one of my neighbours who does her good deed in the street, and brings in my next door neighbour's bin to the front entrance of their garden...only for the woman who lives next door to me to just edge her way into her garden and go up steps to her front door 🤨 leaving the bin where it is! Most people would naturally pull their bin up to the top of their garden but not my neighbour, no....she doesn't do anything related to her bins. Her partner does it after he gets home from work. It's very comical watching the woman next door dodging past her bin to get to and from her garden. Just haul your bin into your garden!

Anyway OP just leave your neighbours to their weird ways. Once they know hoe your health is hopefully they will realise you had a good reason to not help out with the usual tradition. You're going through a lot just now ❤️

JC03745 · 03/10/2024 19:25

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis OP Flowers
I too find your streets 'system' confusing. Does it go from 1 house to the next, so number 10 does this week, then next door number 12, then 14, then 16 etc around the loop? How do you know when its 8 weeks later and your turn again? Unless there is a structured, planned, calendar date for each house- how on earth would they know you haven't hauled in bins for a few weeks?

Personally, I'd mention it again to the 'nicer' neighbour, the fact that yours was the only bin left out, how difficult it was to haul your bin in during the rain, and would they left neighbours know why you haven't been there- if this is what you want neighbours to be aware of. I would think that any decent neighbour would feel ashamed, that they left your bin out because you hadn't been around much in 5 weeks. x

Vettrianofan · 03/10/2024 19:27

That's a man's job - the bins. Women don't do that dirty job 🤮 according to how my next door neighbour's behaviour.

Notwhatuwanttohear · 03/10/2024 19:36

Look at it as a positive.

Now you don't have to involve yourself in this batshit tradition and can worry about your own bin.

Wheeling 8 bins around the close.

No thanks.

Mrsttcno1 · 03/10/2024 19:59

I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time OP.

Maybe it is just a coincidence but I suppose if someone has noticed you haven’t been bringing bins in for weeks maybe they’re thinking since you’re not helping out with anyone else’s that they’ll stop helping with yours. If they don’t know the reasons behind it then it may just be they think it’s cheeky for you to let them bring yours in when you aren’t returning the favour.

That said though I also cannot understanding it’s easier for anyone for 1 person each week to wheel 8 bins in! My neighbour and I will bring each others in if one of us notices first but when there’s only 2 of us that’s simple, I’d certainly not be dragging myself out in all weathers for 8 bins that must take ages😂

LER83 · 03/10/2024 20:18

Oh I can totally believe it was done on purpose, as we have the same stupid set up on our little row of houses 😂. We had a falling out with one neighbour, knew they weren't happy with us when they stopped bringing in our bin! We aren't a part of it now and it is much better! Honestly, from what I've seen with one of my neighbours, people can be really weird about bins!

Whyherewego · 03/10/2024 20:37

Well to be fair you've not done it for a few weeks and maybe other people have noticed. They don't know your personal circumstances and maybe they just thought you wanted to "opt out" of the system. It may be as simple as that? Or someone forgot because it started raining. We will never know perhaps.
Why couldn't your DH pull in the bin when he got home? Why did you have to do it right then? I'd have just left it tbh.
I would suggest you've better things to worry about than bins. So don't worry about the bin, if it happens next week ask DH to pull it in and then it would probably seem that you're no longer in the system. If it happens next week then maybe it was a one off?

Ragruggers · 03/10/2024 20:44

If due to illness you are able to take and bring in the bin please ring the council collection and someone on the lorry will do it for you.I hope you recover soon,look after yourself.

FloofPaws · 03/10/2024 22:04

I suspect that someone on that day noticed your lack of engagement but didn't understand the reasons why, it'll filter through I'm sure.
In the meantime, best of luck and wishes with the treatment and look forward to hearing all clear very soon 😎

Walkacrossthesand · 03/10/2024 23:31

How on earth does anyone know 'who did the bins this week'? There's 8 households involved here, in an outdoor activity that takes a few minutes - is everyone checking their Ring doorbell footage to log turns?

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