Partner and I have been together for a tumultuous 20 months. At new year she verbally and physically attacked me, involved my then 16 year old dd, and I broke up with her.
We ummed and ahhd for a bit, we got back together. My kids said they didn't want anything to do with her, what she did was unforgiveable and they felt like I was being disloyal in seeing her.
I haven't been able to move on from what happened, it was deeply vile, personal and terrifying. We've had counselling, she lied to the counsellor.
We got back together in June, I told the kids, you dont have to see her, spend time with her etc but you do have to respect my decision.
Fast forward couple of months, my dd got engaged and it suddenly struck me. You ( she) will never be able to be a part of my family, I can never talk to you about the exciting preparations, you can't come to the wedding etc etc so I broke it off about 4 weeks ago now.
She has literally bombarded me every day begging me to give it another go, saying, if you loved me like you said you did, you'd fight. If you loved me you'd stay.
Last week she was on tiktok and sent me an invite to a live she was hosting. I entered the chat.
When she saw me enter, she very deliberately told everyone on the live that she was getting ready to go on a date. It was that moment that I realised that her default when she can't get her own way, is to try and hurt me and I was finally done.
Sooooo, why can't I just block her? Why am I so triggered by her accusing me of not loving her enough? Why do I even care ffs?
Not sure what I'm expecting you lot to do tbh but it feels better to get it out.