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Finding moving place and home as a single person so hard

2 replies

Oakbutterfly · 02/10/2024 21:52

Hi All,

A house I was about to purchase has just fallen through and looking for some tlc. It's been a long and emotional journey. I sold my flat 18 months ago in London and decided to live with family as my mental health did not think I could withstand buying and selling at the same time. The current purchase has taken 8 months, and I've been living with family.

I had a hard time in Covid living alone in London and the flat was noisy and it was time to move on after living there for most of my adult life, as friends were having kids etc. But I couldn't decide where to go. I explored lots of locations but found it hard to decide. Finally fixed on somewhere I have a friend and where I can drive to my elderly parents in 1.5 hours. But felt uneasy about everywhere.

I think a lot of emotions are tied up in this move - still being single and childless in my mid/late 40s, being gay, not having a fixed place of work (apart from needing to be in London occasionally). I have a lot of friends, but loneliness has been an issue for me.

I wonder if I should rent now, to make sure I actually do like this new place, but worried I won't get a real sense of it and house prices will go up. My mental health hit an all time low in the last few weeks, with a horrible mini breakdown and starting anti-depressants.

My main concern is the mental health impact of it all - this process is so hard. I'm hoping the anti-depressants might help me feel a bit more positive about it all.

To top it all, I recently saw another house I really liked, but decided against it as I thought it might be too stressful going through the whole process again, but just as my current purchase fell through, this house (which I actually now think was a much better match) sold. I avoided giving it a second viewing as the stress of the decision making was tipping me over.

OP posts:
PandaWorld · 02/10/2024 21:56

I can kind of relate.

Just turned 40, single. No kids, still at home as live in London. Feeling overwhelmed and deeply concerned about never being able to make it on my own. I also have chronic illnesses.
It isn't easy OP. MM will just tell you to flat share as it's "cheap and character building and I slummed it so why can't you ?". So I hope someone else comes along with better and helpful advice x

bringslight · 02/10/2024 21:58

The bigger part of your journey is not where to live but with who.

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