Some of you will know we've been having issues with our DS who's 12 and has SEN. Our poor DD doesn't get much of a look in either.
Anyway DS has been doing a lot better (combination of us raising expectations and being calmer, and adding a non stimulant to his meds) and he even went out on Sunday wearing a new pair of chinos without even being asked.
Both children have been asking if they can take communion (we're Anglican) and there are confirmation classes coming up so we've agreed that DD can do the classes and DS can try but if he can't manage the classes or take promises in public he'll just take communion.
So far so good and we've started looking at clothes (the chinos are relevant!) and inviting the godparents. It's midweek so no real expectations but one godmother is going to try to make it.
Also relevant: my DM came to stay recently and DH was away. I took everyone out in the car, on the way back DS put his feet on DD car seat and I sat quietly waiting for him to get bored. DM shouted at him to STOP RIGHT NOW and he hit DD. Not great but totally predictable. My mum shouted at him again that he was SUCH A PAIN.
So anyway today I told my mum and dad about the confirmation, warning them that the godparent might already have the spare room.
My parents don't go to church except Christmas but they both came to the DCs baptisms.
So about half an hour later my mum replied with just "No thanks", just on its own, no "oh how sad" or "hope it's lovely" or "are presents appropriate" or any hint it might be lovely for us.
She then asked if we are going to be coming to their town over Christmas. We are never invited to her house because my DB always gets to stay there and my DF (they are divorced) doesn't have the room (well he would if he didn't have so many large pieces of furniture but we'll gloss over that). That part is kind of irrelevant but just shows how little she thinks of us.
She blatantly favours DD but I thought she might want to see her, or at least be sad that she couldn't.
Anyway I was all happy that DS is doing better and won't be wearing a onesie to his confirmation and that DD was interested in doing it (he's been asking for longer) and this has just taken the shine off it. It's a grown up thing for them both to do and it means a lot to us but clearly nothing to her.