An unmarried question

[Thismummyrunstheshow]

Together for a decade, children, house etc etc.
I don't think we'll be getting married anytime soon, it's on the cards but not yet for various un-red flag reasons.

If I changed my surname by Deed-poll and then we get married in say 5 years time, how would that work come the vows with the names?

I can't help but think it would be ridiculous and maybe cause more problems.
I would just like to have the same name as everyone else in the house and quite frankly, despise my family surname and the links it has.

I seem to recall that in CofE ceremonies it's just first names. In registry office weddings it's the full legal names.

So what if you both have the same surname? All the Joneses who've married each other in Wales will have done the same thing - and a fair few Smiths in England too, I dare say.

It would sound weird at the wedding, but for all of about 10 seconds to people who already knew your surnames anyway.

Going to a registry office and getting married would take only slightly more effort than changing your name by deed poll, and you could still have a wedding reception at a later date.

I'm not sure how both already having the same surname would be ridiculous and cause problems when getting married.

I knew two people with the same surname who married - no problem at all. (They had always had the same name - no one had changed.)

I stupidly never even thought of that, of course that has happened before!
Thank you!

Why not get married with just 2 witnesses then have your wedding later

Why do you want to change your name?

I would just have a cheap registry office wedding. If you’ve had money to buy a house and have dc, you have money to get married.

I know someone though who did exactly this and changed her name by deed poll without actually getting married. 30 years later, he’s a millionaire many times over, they are still not married and she’s in a very vulnerable place. But for all appearances sake, looks like she’s done the right things to the outside world.

@Thismummyrunstheshow why the wait? Someone I know has just lost her partner of 20 years to cancer. She may now have to sell her home to pay the inheritance tax. If they had been married, she would be exempt.