Should mums children’s new partners be entitled to mums asset?

[Tocken]

Hi. Hope this makes sense. When the sad day arrives (mum is 87) wishes the sale of her home to be divided between her four children. Two children (in their 60’s) are divorced and with new partners, mum has 4 grandchildren from their marriage before they divorced. Should anything happen to her two children she wishes the money to be passed onto the grandchildren and not to their new partners. Mum has asked for my advice but I’m unsure how she should approach this and how this should be set up? Thank you.

If your mum wants to leave her money to her children without conditions or paying for a trust, then she needs to accept that she cannot control money she used to own from her grave.

She can tell her adult children her wishes and hope that they have enough respect for her to follow them, but once you leave money to someone else it belongs to them
and they can give it away to whoever they want.

I would also get Power of Attorney as this will ensure you can deal with everything when she passes

Power of attorney is for when the donor (her DM) is alive it ceases when the DM dies.

The executor deals with the will after her death.

She can write a letter of wishes to state this but she can't 100% maje sure it is followed.

How would that even practically be possible? If someone gives me, say, £10k, and I die 10 years later, how do you determine whether the specific £10k I was given has been spent and therefore is irrelevant, or it is still part of the estate and therefore I'm not "allowed" to leave it to my spouse? If it's just that I need to leave £10k to my child anyway, why not skip me in the first place?

As a separate point, I find it very annoying when people want to control what people do with money they're leaving them. Leave it to them to do with as they wish, or leave it to someone else.

But even if she leaves the money directly to the grandchildren there is no way of stopping them eventually leaving it to a future spouse or stepchildren. PPs are right, it's very difficult to control what beneficiaries do with an inheritance.

This is what I never understand about people leaving it to grandchildren purely because they want it to stay "in the family".

Grandchildren can just as easily leave it to a spouse, or lose it in a divorce.

POA only remains in effect until death and not after.
That being said, everyone should have a POA IMO.

@AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime that's wrong actually. If you don't have power of attorney and need to deal with the Estate you then have to have a Grant of Probate which takes ages....

You can state wishes but they're not enforceable.

It's a shit system. I would talk to a solicitor and find about trusts.

No, the POA ceases to exist on the death of the donor.
It gives you absolutely no rights to deal with any of the deceased's assests or deal with the estate after their death. As I said previously, that is the role of the executor.

It's normal for the will document to create the trust, it's very simple. Any competent wills and trusts solicitor can do this.

It's more tax efficient to leave some direct to grandchildren if there's a lot of money. If it's left to children who then leave it to their children there could be more iht. Always see a solicitor for wills who can also advise on tax planning.

She cant eat her cake and have it.

What she wants is to give it to her children and dictate how that money is used..ie its not to be spent and is to then pass to her GC when shes dead.
It doesn't work like that.

She either gives the full 25% share directly to her child or bypasses them and gives it directly to the GC. Even then the GC may marry badly / have a abling addiction/ whatever and lose "her money" anyway.

What if the 2 "good" children divorce or their spouse dies and they remarry at 87 in the old folks home????

@PrincessofWells I was talking about people who did it solely to keep the money in the family. Rather than for any other reason like tax, or unusual circumstances, or just wanting to give some to grandchildren.

If a will says I leave £10 to John of Wessex, if I predecease the testator then the money becomes part of my estate and is distributed according to my will or intestacy.

Sol what you do is say I give £10 to John of Wessex, if this bequest should fail (ie I die before the testator) then the money goes to Cats Protection or whoever.

Thats good practice.

Otherwise leave it to the Grandchildren direct or set up a trust.

It depends of course on how much money is involved

Is it a shit system? I think it would be an immensely shittier system to allow people to dictate in their will from beyond the grave how inheritance is to be spent, and who it must subsequently be left to.

Thank you all.

POA ceases on death and executors named in the will take over handling the estate. Probate is only needed in estates over a certain value but I agree it can take a long time to be granted and the estate remains frozen until it is. Maybe consider having a joint account would be worth considering

Thank you. I currently have POA and all 4 children are executers. Lots of info to share with mum. Thank you everyone.