I think this might be quite a niche issue but wanted some outside perspectives.
Bought our house two years ago, and my husband organised quite a lot of work before we moved in — replaced the bathroom and kitchen and then new flooring, painted walls, while I was at our old rented house with a newborn baby. Second baby due end of the month so I’m kind of in nesting mode.
There are things I seem to class as important that he just doesn’t see as a priority — eg. Holes around light switches, unfinished skirting boards, unpainted banisters, paint mistakes around woodwork. Just endless lists really of things that look shoddy or are just really unfinished.
Curtains and blinds are upstairs are either nonexistent or an absolute cobbled together mess, attempting to black out but three layers not working as the windows are huge (60s house).
anyway, every time I try and move forward with decorators or handy men or blind installers, it rubs him up the wrong way SO MUCH and we end up arguing about it. I think there could be something in there about him thinking that sort of thing is the “man’s domain” (?!) but he fully denies this. I just wish we could work as a team to make the house nice, but he just puts obstacles down every time I try and organise something, and becomes very negative and implies I’m some sort of frivolous woman for even thinking we need to fix holes in the wall, etc.
For absolute clarity: The house is in my name, mortgage on my income only, because he already has two properties in his name. We both work full time, so it’s not like I’m trying to spend HIS money. Each time I have to stress that I will pay for whatever it is I want doing, just because it’s easier to go ahead and get it done that way.
for example we finally got the staircase painted after 18 months, and I organised the whole thing and paid for it, while he glowered in rage in the background.
what's going on?! Has anyone ever experienced this type of thing before? I’m not sure why he doesn’t want to make our home better, and it’s not like I’m trying to suggest anything ridiculous or outlandish. It’s simple improvements.