DP said he wants no part

[noodlewoo]

In choosing what school to send DS to next September. DS will be 4 in February and although no official diagnosis he is clearly autistic. I have been told off the senco at his nursery to expect one in the future and I’m waiting for the decision on his ehcp. School applications open in November and close in January so I’ve recently been trying to decide which school would be the best. I’m completely torn and feel as if whatever choice I make will be the wrong one.

Anyway, last night I was discussing it with DP and he said he wants no part in it. I said I don’t think this decision should be all on me, he’s your son too. I know that when I choose, he’ll put the blame 100% on me if it turns out to be the wrong decision

Edited to say torn between mainstream and specialist

Just to warn you op even after my son gained an Ehcp I still had to wait over 1 yr for the panel to find a space in the specialist school he needed, I had to pay privately to maintain his specialist nursery space for that time period as it wasn't funded because he was over school age at the time.
I wouldn't get a job until your son is settled in the right provision for him.

This is absolutely terrible advice.

I am in a similar situation as you, my child is 3 going to school next year (though I've decided to refer) he is diagnosing with global delay in all areas of development (operating at 18 months) and has suspected ASD.

Like you I've had little support from my partner and his family who all want to believe he will be ok, there's nothing wrong with him sort of attitude.

However, I have ignored this lack of support and now have got support from the nursery, portage, speech and language, neurological services, neuro diverse services (though a two year wait for assessment). All from stating my observations.

ASD can be identified in those as young as two, the doctor told me it's almost certain he has it. However ASD depending on its effects might not prevent him from main stream school. It's unlikely it will (though it can)

For my son it's the global delay in cognition that is the issue.

I'm so sorry you are going this alone without the support of significant others. I'm absolutely devastated by the lack of support I received from my partner and boy does he know it!

Just know you are doing the absolute best you can for your child, I would arrange to meet with the schools SENCO and discuss provision before making a decision.

@SprigatitoYouAndIKnow I posted your questions to my husband and asked him to reply! There is no way he is digging his head in the sand anymore he can take some of the weight of this from me!

You must still make an application via the normal admission process. You will not have a finalised EHCP before the normal application process closes. If you later get an EHCP, any school named in there will override any offer made via the normal process.

For a 3 year old undiagnosed child?

@speedmop Yes? His needs are high not that I have to explain myself to you. It’s about needs not diagnosis

I am just surprised 🤷

@speedmop you're really invested in @noodlewoo threads this morning. What are you getting at here?

You don’t need a diagnosis for DLA (and thus one is not needed for CA either since it is based on caring for someone in receipt of HRC or MRC DLA (or one of the other relevant benefits) and meeting the income criteria). DLA is based no needs, not diagnosis.

3 year olds can and are awarded DLA.

*On needs not no needs

You need evidence from medical professionals and nursery/schools etc to prove the child's needs if you don't have an official diagnosis yet. Waiting lists for diagnosis are looonnngg. Took us 18 months to get to the front of the queue and that's considered quite quick!