ASD daughter struggling freshers’ week, when do fees kick in?

[MazzaMaisie]

My autistic daughter had late diagnosis of autism, very bright but very anxious especially in new social setting. Was unable to attend high school but did attend college with a 1-1 support. Got good results but took a year out after being overwhelmed by exams. Is now embarking university degree locally, so living at home, DSA in place, uni supportive BUT freshers week has proven very difficult. Massive anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I’m trying to be calm and supportive but she’s really struggling and this is before the course has even started…She desperately wants to be ‘normal’ and has been isolated this past year out in which despite my best attempts to encourage her did not result in developing the soft skills I know she needs. She’s really struggling to process and is worried about ‘wasting money’ if she has to drop out. I’ve told her it’s early days but on the other hand in my heart I dread it is all too much for her and not having a 1-1 it’s very different from college. I am trying to remain neutral and supportive but she’s so angry with herself and depressed. It’s been a harrowing week but I guess I want her to stick at it for a few weeks. Anyone know if universities have a cool off period if students drop out in first 2 weeks? The website says 25 percent, which seems a lot if she fails to get in the first day of proper lessons, and sadly I can see that might happen.

My ASD daughter dripped out after a couple of days. Uni were very helpful. No fees, but appreciate she stayed less time than your daughter. She went back, to a different uni and different course, in her early 20s and thrived.

OP I will probably be in your shoes next year. I have a DC with learning disabilities but very good at all things sports. He attended a special secondary school and is now at a normal college with a 1-1 support worker. College has been brilliant with him far better than his special school was. He's doing well on his level 3 BTEC in Sport and expected to get a merit plus level 1 and 2 coaching awards. He is looking around at what to do next year. When he started college he used to get lost and literally freeze with all the people and noise around him. It took about 7 or 8 weeks before he stopped ringing me upset because he was either lost or had got overwhelmed with so many people about. After that he was really fine. He's even been asked to mentor another boy with a similar condition to him. My advice would be to explain to your DD it might take 7 or 8 weeks to acclimatise to Uni. It will be bigger and lots of people milling about and more noise than she will be used to. Get her to assess it at the end of every 2 weeks to compare to the previous assessment. Each time she should find it a bit easier. I'd suggest she tries until Xmas to give it a fair go. Check out Disabled student grants as they can pay for her to get 1-1 help once or twice a week for settling in and study skills. This would make her feel less alone. Also you could ask if you could go in one day to help her find her way to the library, canteen local shop etc. You could ensure sh has photocopy card photos etc. Freshers week is always a bit manic. Once she starts her course properly there will be less people about. I've found a 2 year Foundation Degree for my son it's at the same college for 2 years on Sports performance degree then a further year at a close by university so I'm hoping he can manage this but we won't know until he tries. Best wishes to your DD. Perseverance is the key.

I dropped out after a few days and didn't have to pay any fees. I went back to another uni and different course at 21 and did better. This other uni was in another city and I stayed in halls and this was very important. I have asd too.

Does she get PIP? If not apply and use towards a 1 to 1 for her lectures?

is that a possibility?

Is what a possibility? Getting PIP for ASD? Yes it is.

oh i know that’s a possibility
I meant a 1-2-1 during lectures

She does not have to participate in freshers week although there may be a welcome event fir her course. The trigger for fees is matriculation/registration but accommodation contracts differ. What is she finding hard, could she meet her student disability support team to review?

DSA can help fund 121 support for getting to and between lectures etc but the unis dont tend to offer it without it being asked for and usually some kind of evidence is required . If she’s already had 121 emotional support at college it should be easier for her to access this at uni too. I say this as someone who was offered it (as a mature student over 10 years ago i didn’t need it) and as someone who has volunteered as an Asd mentor in more recent years. The basics being offered will likely be a weekly or fortnightly mentor session but you can ask for more from DSA funding

The settling in period for an ASD student can be longer and some do end up leaving and maybe returning a few years later when more mature but if she’s academically capable in every other way then I suggest going back to disability support and asking for more support.

Yes, it is possible. But in class 1 to 1 will not be funded by DSA. As it passes the threshold cost for support. So it depends on the university and if they are willing to fund.

I have a few students this year with an in class 1 to 1. For physical disabilities and for autism.

OP please get proper advice from the University and not from Mumsnet. I'm sure they will be helpful. This is the link to UCAS website detailing when the when tuition fee loan has to be paid back.

Has she looked at the clubs, groups, teams that she can join at the uni ?
Has she visited the uni
Library ?
Canteen ?
Sports facilities ?
Swimming pool ?
Spoken to others on her course ?
Walked round the uni grounds ?
Any of these ?