How to stop mindlessly buying things?

[snowwhat]

I've gotten into a terrible habit of buying things just for the sake of it - I think I'm chasing the little 'high' I get after purchasing something. It's mainly clothes from charity shops - I live near a lot of amazing ones which are obviously cheaper than buying full-price, but it all adds up money-wise and I hate the fact that I'm cluttering my place. I keep trying to calculate that 'x' spent on a jumper you don't need could have bought 'x' amount of something you do need/groceries/that bill, but my willpower isn't great :(

If anyone has been this in position, what really worked for you breaking the habit?

I completely understand as I am a bit of charity shop addict. I think the buzz is almost more in a charity shop when you're getting another wonderful cashmere scarf for a couple of quid and so on. The things I have picked up are astounding and that becomes like a drug. And of course the money is going to a good cause.

I'm by no means a role model as I still can't drive past my local big charity shop. However, I am blessed in having a very large area to store clothes where they are all on easy view (it's not glamorous enough to be called a walk in wardrobe but you get the gist). Seeing it all on view together and the amount of items that are very similar is sobering. I would be embarrassed for anyone to see how much got. I've managed to get to a point where I don't actually look at the clothes in the shops any more (and that's what they have most of) and only buy them if an incredibly buy catches my eye (V posh label, luxury fabric, that type of thing). So I'm not cured and I'm still going in, but it is greatly reduced.

There are lots of experts on addictions advising on how to deal with them and you could just try and replace the 'high' with something kinder on the pocket - like a good walk in nature and so on. However, initially, my suggestion would be to recognise the issue, set yourself a budget, only pay for items with cash, and set parameters for what you'll buy, for example, I only buy really good fabrics which rules out a whole chunk of stuff.

We gone back into the habit of drawing cash out at the start of the week. Money leftover after bills divided by number of weeks before payday. Find it's easier to keep track of the money than using the card here and there.

Just don’t go shopping? I never do. I will research something specific to buy online that I know will work with my existing clothes.

My husband operates a one out, one in system so if he buys a new item he will donate, recycle or sell on an item he already owns. I’m hoping to get to this point but I’m still in the process of whittling down my wardrobe so I’ve paused all shopping and then hopefully when it’s at a manageable size I can also try this.

We give ourselves an allowance per
month and move it into a separate monzo
account. This is for anything that is
not bills or pre budgeted outgoings.
then you can see it going down throughout the month - more transparent and means you don’t go over budget. Eg coffees, vinted/ charity shop, takeaway etc definitely
makes me think twice before spending.

Here's some advice my Mum gave to me and i largely stick by it. Only works for physical shopping though, not online!

When you see something you want to buy, leave it in the shop. Visit some other shops or go for a coffee. If you still want to make the journey back to the shop to get it after 20 mins, then buy it. If you can't be bothered walking back, you never really wanted it.

Never go rack to till. Saved me a fortune!

Stop going in stores. It will be hard initially but after about two weeks the desire will lessen. Go to the library visit a friend walk nap organize do anything to get over that “urge” to shop. There always are and always will be beautiful or useful things to buy….just take a break until you get a handle on it. And try to contemplate purchases…that’s the issue with charity shop antique store flea market or Tjmaxx…the belief each item is a one and only and will be gone tomorrow.

That's exactly it @ForPearlViper I'm so glad you get it! I justify it in my head by saying it's money for a good cause and it's cheaper than it would have cost new. I'm also a sucker for getting really good quality clothes in cashmere or merino wool for cheap. But I've realised what started as a bit of fun has basically become a hobby where I seek out the thrill of looking around the charity shops in case there's something treasure waiting to be found. The problem is that I always end up finding/justifying buying something!! When I was younger, I spent a lot of money and time in Zara/H&M etc because I was just a bit sad and lost in life/unhappy with work. The lockdown and all the shops closing stopped that and broke the habit for me, but I realised it just migrated to charity shops instead of the high street. I do need to do a bit of soul-searching to try and get to the root cause of it all...

And seeing how much I own has been sobering too - it's amazing how one little dress/jumper/coat here adds up. I've started filling up bags to donate and have to run out before I buy anything else!

Thanks so much for the tips - I like the idea of setting some ground rules and sticking strictly to high-end/good quality clothes and using cash only.

I think this is it - in my head, shopping has become a hobby or something to just pass the time when I'm bored. I need to rewire my brain to think that shopping should be for essential things only and replace it with something else. It's silly but when I need something (i.e. new pair of walking shoes/laptop), I will spend ages researching it and find it very stressful, but when it's something I want but don't need, I'll happily spend the money and enjoy the buzz.

There always are and always will be beautiful or useful things to buy…

I need to write this out and frame it/put it on my phone - I feel like I'm always chasing some unique treasure/quirky item of clothing in the charity shops and just can't scratch the itch.

@ForPearlViper think I've set myself some new ground rules/parameters - wish me luck that they work:

I'm going to start 'shopping' my own wardrobe and wear something I've never worn before/haven't worn in ages rather than just buying something from a charity shop for the buzz, and try and get the thrill from that.

I'm also going to do a wardrobe audit and make a list of clothes I need (not those that I want). I've realised that I've been compromising when I find something in a charity shop if it's almost right, but not quite just because it's cheap - i.e. I found a great pair of high-quality corduroy brown flares last year that were just a little too big and long for me, but I thought I'll make them work. I wear them a lot in the winter as they are mega warm, but I also get annoyed that they don't fit me properly, so they are going on my list of something I need as one of my winter staples. If I find them in a charity shop, great - if not, then I'll research them and buy them new. I think trying to bring it back to shopping with a purpose as much as possible might help me mindlessly seeking out some treasure and buying stuff I don't need!

This might sound daft, but research alternative dopamine hits that might be better and cheaper for you ❤️

I find the charity shop gods bring you things if you are not impatient - but probably shouldn't say that to you.

Seriously, if you can reduce it to, on average, a couple of quid on average a week, you're winning on this one.

To amuse you though. I had a pretty much all black wardrobe when I was working. When I went into a shop I'd see something and wonder 'do they have this in black. When I retired, I never wanted to see black again and pivoted into navy and stripes for some reason. I have an entire rail of striped tops including proper authentic Breton tops. I have enough of these for a decade. Still when I go into a shop I am drawn to stripes and have to have a serious talk with myself.

I very strongly recommend other free ways to find a dopamine hit. But, actually, on the scale of things, if you are addictive, spending less than a coffee in a charity shop for pristine merino sweater on a butter soft handbag it a pretty good alternative.

Nothing wrong with buying from charity shops I’ve actually been lucky enough to get things that have never been used